THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 8: Loop Four, II

"I have to," Eren replied steadily, ready to rebutt any argument you'd make. "For your future. For Eldia's future. I will free you from this cage."

Not long after, the war commence and you tore Liberio to shreds.

Instead of aiding Eren like before, you were placed in Jean's squad because he wanted you close to him for safety. You and Sasha took down enemy troops instead while Mikasa shouldered the burden of carrying Eren against the War Hammer Titan alone.

You wished you could say you didn't care for Jean, but he was still your close friend and that was a bond too complicated to ignore. Every time an enemy neared him, you shot them down as you vertically maneuvered through Liberio.

"Jean, watch out!" you shouted before shooting at a grenade in midair. It exploded above his head.

Jean grinned at you. "Thanks, baby."

You loved him enough to want him to stay alive.

When the battle was over, a new fear awaited you—reliving Sasha's death. Before you could say anything, the entirety of Jean's squad released their hooks and returned to the airship.

You followed, the last one on board instead of Sasha.

Jean pulled you up. Back then, you were in the cabin watching Levi kick Eren. Now, you were in the main deck. They were celebrating. You wanted to see Eren again, but before you could go to the cabin, Jean swept you into a kiss.

"Fuck," he muttered against your lips. "I was almost a goner back there. Thanks for saving my ass."

"It was nothing," you whispered before swiftly kissing him hard, just wanting him to get off you already. Unfortunately he mistook it as passion and pulled your head closer, much to the hoots of Floch and the others.

There was the sound of something clanging against the metal outside.

"Did you hear that?" Sasha asked behind you.

Before you could react, she entered. Gabi. She loaded a gun, fast as light.

Your hairs stood on end. Sasha was behind you. Jean had pulled you on board. That meant the one in line with the bullet was Jean, not her.

The shot was fired, in line with Jean's chest.

You did love him, to an extent. Enough to keep him alive.

"Jean, no!"

You pushed Jean aside before the bullet pierced through your stomach.

Shock rang throughout the ship before all hell broke loose. You coughed out a mouthful of blood before collapsing on the floor, uniform soaking scarlet. People were screaming - at the two Eldian kids who'd entered the airship, and in your face, trying to bring you back to reality.

Your vision blurred as someone put your head on their lap. It was Jean.

"You idiot," he sobbed. "You idiot, why did you save me?"

Your tone was light as you replied, the blood loss muddling your mind. "You're not supposed to die. I am."

Tears flooded Jean's eyes before he yelled out, "We need a medic!"

You felt your uniform getting ripped by Connie so they could bandage your middle. They took one look at the hole in your stomach and knew you weren't going to make it. But they denied the truth.

"Hey. Look at me," Jean held your face gently. "Look at me, [Name]. You're gonna be okay, alright? It's just us. You and me."

You nodded wordlessly, head lolling as Sasha began wrapping a futile bandage around your stomach. The door to the cabin burst open and Armin and Mikasa came running out. The moment they saw you, they cried out. They didn't want you to die. You were their friend, the one who had been through hell with them since the fall of Shiganshina. You couldn't die.

Behind the door, someone ran out despite the protests and shouts of Hange. Levi exited after, face solemn.

Eren.

The irony hit him like rocks. He'd loved you and you reciprocated. He loved you enough to kill for you, only for you to be killed because you loved someone else.

"[Name]." His voice was shaky, different from the stoic toughness he'd shown in battle earlier. "No..."

All you could see was him. Behind him, Armin and Mikasa fumbled for medical supplies, sweat beading on their foreheads. Eren brushed the hair out of your face with shaky hands. His palms were rough, but they were your favorite to hold, even if you didn't do it that much in this life.

There hadn't been such a fuss about your death before. It felt bittersweet to know you were surrounded by people who loved you.

But the loop...

Your eyes popped open. "The loop," you gasped. "The loop will reset. I'll have dirt on my face."

Eren's brows furrowed. "What?"

"Please remember me." Tears prickled in your eyes as you looked at your friends. "Promise me. You'll remember me next time."

Clearly, they thought you were saying your final words to them, which was in a way true. They looked horrified and scared.

"[Name], I..." Jean began, but he trailed off when you grabbed Eren's wrist, the life slowly leaving you.

It was all going to start over again, and everything that happened would be forgotten again anyway, so you might as well tell this Eren the truth before you jumped into the new timeline.

"It's you," you whispered. Eren's grip tightened around your hand. "It's always been you, Eren."

"I know," he whispered back, kissing your shaking knuckles. "I know. I love you."

You held his face in your hands. You'd forgotten about the others, about Jean. There was only Eren, and you'd stay like this forever, if he'd let you.

Death greeted you like an old friend.

-

"Mama, I want to work in Wall Sina," was the first thing you told your mom as soon as you woke up in your younger body again. "There's a farm run by the Reiss family, and their daughter Frieda invited me over - can I go, pleeeaase?"

"[Name]," your mother affectionately swiped the hair out of your cheeks. "You don't need to be in Wall Sina, or work there. I'm happy to simply have you as my daughter."

"I don't want to join the military or work in a restaurant," you pouted. "And I want to work! That boy next door is super creepy and he wants to join the Survey Corps! Plus, Frieda said that if I go now, I can bring you when I turn twelve."

Your mother chewed on her lower lip. "I suppose there's no stopping you," she sighed. "I'll talk with your father and see if I can arrange for Dr. Jaeger to bring you to Wall Sina."

"Just don't make me talk to that son of his," you pleaded, a little too desperately.

Loop Five had begun, and this time, you were not walking the path with Eren.