THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 8: Loop Four, II

Jean. Who had taken care of you and loved you purely, who never dragged you into plans of murder or destruction, who could sustain the stability you desperately desired from life, who was not Eren.

Your face swirled with conflict.

"It's just us," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "You can be honest."

You breathed out,

"No."

Eren's nose brushed against yours. You didn't want him to love you, but you also didn't want to push him away. He had never kissed anyone before, but when he pressed his lips onto yours, everything felt right.

You stiffened. He wasn't supposed to kiss you, but your muscle memory betrayed you. Your hands instinctively slid into his soft hair, just the way he liked it, and your lips kissed back with fervor. When you remembered that this was the exact opposite of what your life was for, you hastily pulled away, eyes wide. Eren's lips were slightly-parted, half-forming your kiss. He opened his eyes and you saw elation and freedom.

You were horrified. What have you done?

Your face closed over, impenetrable to his resignation. Eren let you go, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Before you could enter the headquarters, the door swung open to reveal Jean. You stood helplessly as he side-stepped you, eyes murderous, as he headed to Eren with balled fists.

"You fucking scumbag!" he yelled before his fist swung. Eren caught it easily and twisted his arm so Jean slammed against the train cart. You winced.

"Watch it," Eren grunted, calm and even a little smug, as he let Jean go with a small push. Jean stumbled against the cart before touching his bruised cheek. "Fuck are you here for?"

"You kissed her," Jean hissed. "You forcefully kissed my—"

"I kissed someone I love," Eren reminded him mercilessly. "She's hardly yours. You've turned a blind eye to [Name] loving me behind your back for years, but I'm not standing for it anymore."

You wanted to beg them to stop, to break them apart like you used to do as a kid, but now, there was nothing you could do except stand helplessly to the side.

Jean grit his teeth. He did not live through countless hell with you, care for and love you, just for Eren to strut over and claim your heart as his. But a part of him knew that you were never fully his. You'd always been drawn to Eren more.

"She and I have a history dating back to childhood, Jean-boy. She wiped my tears and I held her when she grieved while all you could do was watch. I know how she feels."

Eren started walking off.

As he passed you, he put his hand on your arm, softly, tenderly, like you were something delicate he didn't want to ruin. You couldn't bring yourself to jerk away. Your lower lip trembled as he gave your arm a reassuring squeeze that Jean could obviously see.

"And for the record," he said over his shoulder to deliver the final blow, "she kissed me back."

Jean stiffened with hurt. Part of him wanted to believe otherwise, but your guilty face wordlessly told him the truth.

Things were tense in the Survey Corps after. Eren let you pretend he didn't exist. He knew he'd crossed a line. The squad was divided. Sasha and Connie sided with Jean, while Armin and Mikasa sided with Eren. As always, you had no one.

Eventually, Eren approached you after dinner. People shot you knowing and wary looks, aware that something had happened between you. No one could deny that what you had with Eren was a rare passion, but it was still frowned upon to be a two-timer.