THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 8: Loop Four, II

A sullen look overtook Eren's face. "I don't want to talk about that. It's complicated."

"Don't you like her?" Eren hated the way your voice sounded innocent and sweet, but there was a quaver. "She's quite devoted to you."

Eren shrugged. "I've tried to love her the way Jean loves you. And I do love her—I care for her deeply. But... she's my sister."

"You don't have to call each other siblings," you pointed out.

"My mom and dad called us their children, and Dad referred to Mikasa as his daughter in his memories, so no thanks. And I grew up with her. It's bizarre."

"Does that mean I'm your sister too?"

Eren stared at you. He could shove you aside and you'd forget this conversation happened at all. But a part of him wanted to open up to you.

"It's not the same," he muttered. "You aren't like her, you had your own family. But you still care for me and understand me and I know I love you in some way."

You froze. Love was a strong word and you looked almost afraid of hearing him say it. He continued before you could tell him to stop.

"You don't call me useless or weak, you know when's the right time to leave me alone or when to wipe my tears, you trusted me enough to let me hit you... and I know you well enough that the guy you're with is not good for you."

Eren expected your anger. You flared satisfyingly, like fire he'd stoked from coal.

"Jean is good for me," you said. "And you're only saying that because I—"

"Because you what?" Eren leaned forward.

You recognized his expression. The longing in his eyes. The eagerness and the flush creeping up his neck at your almost admission, the acknowledgement that something was there.

"I hate you," you fumed. Eren rolled his eyes.

"You love me," he said with sarcasm, but there was a veil of deceit. "What, is Jean-boy upset that his girlfriend likes someone else?"

You scowled. "You're an ass, Eren Jaeger."

"You're not denying it. You know what I don't get?"

"What?"

"Why you never said anything. If you don't like Jean, why didn't you break up? And if you never hated me, you should have said something instead of fighting."

"We didn't get along," you lied.

"I wish you'd just been my friend from the start. You should have told me. You should've given me a chance."

"It wouldn't have made a difference, Eren."

"How do you know that?" he asked fiercely, taking a step towards you. "How do you know you and I wouldn't have felt differently about each other?"

Your face twisted, like you knew something he didn't.

"Yes, I do, because you're just jealous, Eren. You're jealous that I chose Jean over you when we were kids."

Eren's face morphed into a scowl. "Fine," he said. "I am jealous. Because I wanted you. I liked you first. I know you better and you know it."

You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

"And don't fucking tell me you don't want me because I can see the way you look at me. Everyone can."

Eren put his hand on your shoulder. When you didn't pull away, his hand slid to cup your cheek. Slowly, his face inched near yours.

"Be honest with me, just this once, please," Eren whispered. "Do you really love him?"