Lisa
I fled Jennie's side and slipped on my coat, with my mind reeling. She kissed me. Did she just kiss me because Nancy was there or she wanted to? Had I been misreading our entire friendship the last two weeks? Jennie kept insisting we weren't friends, so maybe all of this really was an act and I was none the wiser.
God I was such an idiot! How could I have fallen for Jennie? For my best friend's sister? She's was straight, for God's sake! And here I was, head over heels for her.
I replayed all of the most poignant memories we had together the last two weeks. I really thought we were growing close; I really started to believe that maybe there was something more, but maybe there wasn't. Maybe this was all just one big act for Jennie because I asked her to this thing for me and she did. She was under no obligation to like me back. In fact, she probably didn't; she wasn't the confused lesbian who couldn't keep her feelings in check when getting close with a beautiful girl.
Oh God, I was such a fucking idiot.
I paced back and forth on the wrap around porch, thinking about how much of an idiot I was when Jennie came out to fine me.
"Hey." Jennie said.
My head snapped up and I carefully rearranged my face into an easy going smile.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing. What's up with you?"
"Nothing. I just got a little warm inside. I think it might be the alcohol." I lied.
"You sure? Did you drink too much?"
"No, no. I'm fine. Seriously. You don't have to stand out here with me. I just got a little warm."
Jennie studied me for a moment, then smirked.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"What's that look for?"
"Was it the kiss?"
"What?"
"Is that why you're acting weird?"
"I'm not acting weird."
Jennie wasn't impressed by my lie.
"I just wasn't expecting that kind of kiss, okay? I'm fine!" I walked down the porch and sat on the large porch swing. Jennie came over and sat next to me so that our shoulders were flush against each other. My heart hammered in my chest and I found that I couldn't look at her.
God, I did like her.
"Did I upset you?" Jennie asked.
"No, not at all."
"Did I upset you when I kissed you?"
"What? No, Jennie, stop apologising."
"Because you were fine before the kiss."
"No... it wasn't. I'm... look I'm fine."
"Should I not have kissed you?"
I stuttered. "How am I supposed to answer that?"
"Was it a bad kiss?"
"No! Jennie, stop it wasn't about the kiss. You're a great kisser."
"Oh, so I'm a great kisser, huh?"
My face flushed red.
"You're embarrassed." she observed.
"No I'm not."
"Then what is it?"
"The kiss just threw me off, okay? That's it. There's nothing else to it."
"Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"Why did it throw you off?"
"I don't know."
"Because you weren't expecting it, right?"
"Right."
"Tell me what you're thinking."
Jennie said to always keep your cards close until you were absolutely sure it was the right move, the move to win. I wasn't sure if this was the right move, the move to win, or if I was playing right into her hand; I didn't know if I was the idiot who misread all the signs, the idiot who fell in love with the girl she had no chance with, or the idiot that thought there was something there when there wasn't, but I had to try; I had to take the risk.
"Please don't be mad." I began, biting my lip. "I may or may not have accidentally fallen for you... since we've been hanging out." I stared at my feet.
"May or may not?" Jennie asked, watching me carefully.
"I did. But please don't freak out. I know you're not into girls and I'm your brother's best friend and we have this whole dynamic that could be messed up. I'm really not trying to make anything out of this, but I can't help how I feel. I promise I'll get over it and you don't have to worry, but I am sorry."
Jennie continued to watch me, with her head tilted in that way that signalled she was in the midst of trying to figure out some complicated problem.
"You think by thirty, I'd stop falling for straight girls, right?" I joked, feeling awkward at her silence.
"So it was the kiss, huh?" Jennie said with a devilish grin.
"Oh my God." I dropped my head into my hands. "Shut up."
"I was just trying to really seal the deal with Nancy, so she wouldn't guess anything."
"I know, okay? You don't have to rub it in. I'm weak and I fell for a straight girl. Sue me."
Jennie laughed and my heart fluttered at the sound.
"Lili?"
"What?" I said, muffled in my hands.
"Can you look at me?"
"So you can taunt me?"
"I'm not going to taunt you."
I peeked one eye out. Jennie was smiling down at me.
"You're so cute." she laughed. I groaned.
"Don't make this harder than it has to be."
"How am I making this hard?"
"Because I obviously think that you're cute and attractive and you're just sitting here being adorable and I'm trying not to like you, but you're making it very hard."
"So you do think I'm hot. Your mom was telling the truth!"
"Oh my God, Jennie!"
She was laughing.
"Why are you making this so hard on me?"
"I just think it's fun to tease you."
"You're the worst."
"I think it's really cute when you're flustered."
I scowled.
"And when you're pretending to be mad."
I continued to stare at her.
"I actually find you pretty adorable."
"I don't understand..."
"Lisa, I obviously like you too."
"Wait, so that kiss earlier... was that just to shut Nancy up or...?"
"No. I wanted to kiss you."
"I... what?"
Jennie laughed. "Jin was right."
"Right about what?"
"He told me that you'd never believe me, if I told you that I liked you."
"I thought we weren't friends?"
"I don't want to just be friends with you."
My mouth fell open. "Oh you like, want to actually date?"
"Yes, Lisa."
"When did this happen? You went from being annoyed that I was at your apartment all the time to... liking me?"
"You know, I think it was the Starbucks order. No one has ever taken the time to care about things like that. Then you bought the snow globe, and not just because you were being nice, but because you knew how much it meant to me and Jin and you wanted to do something thoughtful for us. You're the most thoughtful, caring, and considerate person I've ever met and somewhere along the way, you made me fall for you. Trust me, I didn't have any say in the matter."
"I'm sorry. You like me? Like, you want to kiss me and be my girlfriend?"
"Oh my God, Lisa. Yes."
"Well, that changes a lot."
Jennie looked at me questioningly.
"I didn't want our first kiss to be in the middle of a party with Nancy watching." I confessed.
That sly smile played on Jennie's lips. "So, you've thought about our first kiss?" Jennie asked, bumping into me playfully. "What did you have in mind?"
"I don't know, something more romantic. I thought there would at least be snow."
Jennie laughed, then bent down and grabbed a pile of snow from the porch and threw it in the air. She looked at me expectantly and I took that as my cue. I pulled her in close and kissed her so passionately that she would never, for even a single moment, doubt my devotion to her.
