My Name Is Bucky [FemBucky&Sam]

History

“He’s just right through to the end of this corridor, Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky smiles a little to herself at how polite (and respectful) he is to her. It’s a nice change from the fear – she thinks – the look they get whenever they finally realise (or already know) who she is. She still likes to stare, to make people more uncomfortable than she feels whenever she feels it – which is rare, because she’s trained for all kinds of messed up situations – or simply just to intimidate certain (what she calls special exceptions – normal “heroes” would probably call “bad guys”) people – before she uses violence as her last resort.

The guard stops a few feet away from the last door at the end of the corridor, Sam only stopping, too, when Bucky stops. He can see how tense her entire body is and for the hundredth time in the last half hour, he thinks about how much of a bad idea this actually is. Even if they have no other option, Sam would rather not take this one, would rather find another way, if not for Bucky’s own sanity, then definitely for his responsibility – the one he vowed to keep right before Steve handed over the shield.

Sam keeps his troubled thoughts to himself (for now.) Bucky nods at the guard and says, “OK, thanks. Can you give us a sec’?” He nods and she waits for him to step out of earshot before turning to face Sam. “I’m gonna do this alone.”

Sam frowns deeply. “What? Why?” Although, her choice of words alone are enough to tell him that she thinks this is something she needs to face for herself, and he can’t argue with that. (Even if he wants to.)

“‘Cause you’re an Avenger.” Bucky says it like it’s obvious, because it is, and she shoots him a slightly confused look as she asks, “You forget about that little fact?”

“Oh, and I’m assuming he worships the ground that the ex Winter Soldier walks on.”

Bucky’s expression withers at his sarcasm laced words, but replies, “Obviously not. But he’s obsessed with anything related to HYDRA. And obsessions can be fuelled by hate, too.”

Sam arches a brow, wants to know what she’s thinking when she suddenly looks a little sullen at her last comment, but he saves that for another time, too. One day, he will finally ask her all the questions burning through his mind whenever he thinks of her.

“This is a bad idea.” He tells her, instead.

“Probably.” Bucky agrees with a nod. “But we’ve got a... history... I can do this.” She knows she’s skilled enough to get what she wants, because this time, her mind is her own, her control, her own. She gives Sam a rather sincere look, because she wants him to; “Trust me?”

And she’s actually surprised when he doesn’t come back at her with any sarcasm or teasing, only nods, looks back at her with all seriousness, and says, “I do, Buck.”

[5 Minutes Later.]

He’s sitting in the shadows of his glass cell when Bucky enters the dimly lit room – waiting just for her, or so he makes it seem. The door buzzes shut behind her and Bucky is left alone with him, but it’s not him she’s afraid of as she slowly moves towards his cell.

She already knows what he will do first – just to test her, just to see for himself – and Bucky is afraid now, because now she’s actually not too sure if Ayo’s voice in her head will be enough, if her voice is really the only one that works on Bucky’s broken (but slowly mending) mind.

Ayo and Shuri (goddamn, she loves that sweet kid) were both very thorough in their work with her. Following the weeks after Bucky’s very first success, they both made multiple attempts of trying to trigger her, to bait the Winter Soldier out of her. Each time (thankfully) failed and each one grew less painful, less “triggering,” until one day, Ayo stood beside her as Bucky sat facing the fire, glaring into it with blurry tear filled eyes of determination and suddenly it didn’t hurt at all anymore.

“‘Toska...’ [‘Longing...’]”

Zemo doesn’t disappoint – she bitterly thinks – as he, just as slowly rises from his cot and slips into the strip of light right in front of the glass. He’s looking right at her now, his gaze just as unflinching as her own as he speaks with perfect Russian; “‘Rzhavyy...’ [‘Rusted...’] ‘Pech’...’ [‘Furnace...’] ‘Rassvet...’ [‘Daybreak...’]”

“That’s not who I am anymore.” Bucky tells him, maybe even tells herself, just for reassurance as she stares (mostly) calmly back at him through the glass.

“Oh, I know.” Zemo grins a little, “I just wanted to see how the ‘new you' would react to The Old Words.” He smiles a little more. Especially when he sees her eyes twitch, ever so slightly.

When he leans forward a little to get a better look at her, his tone is curious as he says, “Something is still in there, I think.” And when he notices a very tiny falter in her pretty blue eyes, he has to keep himself from smiling, because he already can take a pretty good guess as to why she’s here to see him, hopes that maybe he can make some use of it. Somehow. He doesn’t know yet. He will have to wait and see.

So, he does, but until they get to that part, he thinks, he will dig a little deeper with what he’s already got. Even if only just to fill the time.

“At least you were not conscious for most of your imprisonment.”

While he oddly sounds a little sympathetic towards her, Bucky knows that there’s two meanings behind his words. She wants to laugh at his audacity of the first – because he definitely deserves to be exactly where he is right now. And she saves the second for a later time, because she’s kind of on a time crunch right now, and Sam needs her, she quickly reminds herself.

“Actually, I was.” Zemo arches a brow, looks a little surprised, and with a glare, Bucky adds, “I was just too numb to care.”

Bucky wants him to know that she and the Winter Soldier are not two different people – as she came to (painfully) accept for herself – but are one in the same. Although, she wants him to know this, because she wants him to know that she won’t hesitate to put him in line, if she really needs to. In fact, she also wants him to know she’ll even probably (definitely) enjoy doing so.

Zemo knows she’s only warning him, because he knows she knows he isn’t scared of her. He isn’t scared of anyone, because he has nothing left, and Bucky can work with that. If he does get out of line, she will just choose cruelty to remind him of everything he’s lost and see him crumble at the memories all over again.

(Just like she does whenever she has one of those damn nightmares of hers...)

He doesn’t look guilty, but still does look quite sincerely at her as he finally speaks after a moment, “Well... for what it’s worth – I am sorry, Jane. It was never personal.”

Bucky suddenly relives all the times she could hear herself saying that in the very far reaches of her mind, every time the Winter Soldier would take another life.

She watches him silently, calmly, as he shuffles aimlessly around in his glass case, with tiny hamster holes for air. “You were simply a means to a necessary end.”

Bucky doesn’t answer him anymore, and like she should have from the start – if she hadn’t been so damn shook – she begins to demand some from him in return. “Someone is recreating the supersoldier serum. I need to find out who.”

Zemo arches a brow and looks a little bit too pleased for her liking (not that any of this is to her liking.) “You are assuming that someone from HYDRA has something to do with this.” It’s almost a little pathetic of her, assuming anything at any time, but he keeps that (smug) thought to himself. “Which is why you came to me... Which means you are desperate now.”

Bucky wants to punch that smug smile off his equally smug face, and (even if he’s suddenly being helpful) thinks she might actually get the chance to, real soon, when he says, “Luckily, for you, I know just where to begin.”