Vagary

{Twenty}

Severus kissed her forehead again, keeping his traitorous thoughts at bay.

"If you surmise that is the right course of action then I must agree. We can tell them whenever you'd like."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"What can I do?"

"I want to go home. Apparently I didn't need to come in, but of course with everything in my head, how was I supposed to know?"

"Let's not dwell on that. You must heal before you go," he said.

"I know..." Hermione trailed off. "Besides the-" she inhaled quick and painfully, "bleeding, I took a couple potions and feel plain all considering."

Severus let out a long, slow breath, sure that this tragedy would hit him far worse later in the day. Now... now he was more concerned for the broken-hearted woman before him.

"As soon as the healers release you, we will go. I promise."

He set her up in the bed, making sure to place as many small touches and tokens of affection upon her as he could while they waited.

Draco popped in only a little bit later with the healer right behind him telling her to get some rest and other helpful tips that Severus felt were more like stabs to the heart. Not to mention his audacious offer of supplying them with a potion recipe for pain as though he were not standing right there.

The house was admittedly quite stale. It hadn't been left abandoned in what felt like years, so the extended time away proved someplace so encompassing could become a shell like any other vacant property. The hearth was dead, Vitty apparently having taken the hint that it would be a while before their return. The little elf needed time off anyways.

Hermione was timid as she settled in the sitting room, her wand out and creating a fire before he could attempt to. What he had to say did not come easy.

"I apologize," he muttered from where he stood, staring into the hearth as though it might engulf him were he to ignore it.

"Accepted."

"So quickly? I left you."

The fire seemed unbothered by this statement. It continued to flicker and crack for him to focus on, allowing him the escape from whatever tension plagued the room.

"I saw mistakes like this, harboring feelings and emotions, tear apart my friends during a war. I won't do that to a marriage."

"Why did you lie then? Beyond the brief illusion you might return home?"

Hermione ruminated for a moment.

"Draco, for one. He is not alike his other self in most capacities, so to see this unburdened version turn into his other self with the weight of Harry's disapproval, I caved. It felt like the compassionate thing to do."

Severus recalled this explanation when she'd given it the first time in brevity, and now it felt far more genuine than before. She did not stop there.

"I never understood those people in films who wake up and can't remember anything about their loved ones but clearly they are loved, then proceed to break their hearts. I can't break people's hearts like that... I would rather learn on the go, figure out exactly how to fit back into the life I once had."

Turning back, he saw her eyes equally as focused on the fire as his had been, curled up in a ball, a pathetic and sad sight in a way that drew him close. Sitting down next to her, Severus pulled her into his lap and spoke softly into her ear.

"You refused to cause me turmoil. I knew that... but after hearing your story- Hermione, it took months for your truthfulness to permeate my brain when we first began, and a few extra to allow the morals of it all to become sorted. A wizard nineteen years your senior, your professor... it was a scandal that nearly lost Minerva her career and James his power of judgment. Hearing of this alternate figure of myself became a threat to all the work I had previously attributed to our union. Hence why I reacted in the way I did, but I should've trusted you, every version of you, as Draco detailed in less kind words."

Hermione traced a line over the buttons on his robes. "I figured that's where he'd gone."

"I'm glad he did."

"Tell me about our wedding," she requested against his chest, the nuzzle enough to render him into answering. But first, he needed an answer too.

"You knew... I will rejoice in telling you, but you knew about our child-" the words wouldn't come, his eloquence failing him in the face of letting everything finally come to fact.

"A daughter."

"I'm glad you knew."

"Me too."

Severus recovered from the brief wave of tragedy before pouring his heart out over their wedding. He described it in great detail, every bit he remembered, vowing to show her in a pensieve one day. It having been just over a year before made it easier to tell, though the sentimental sod he was meant he doubted the memory would ever dull. Eventually they went upstairs, a tender show of affection in simply laying down together, summoning a meal in bed from Vitty, who was thrilled to be of service once again.

Hermione had never taken such melancholic joy in wasting the day away.

Of course, a letter came later inviting her and Severus to a dinner at the Potter's, an evening where all of their friends and family would be around so as to explain everything to them. A postscript was included for them, Draco offering his time as a professor once again while both men expressed their sincerest love for them both.

The dinner was under the disguise of her birthday that next Friday, that of which she'd nearly forgotten about along with everything that had been happening, the same way Harry and Draco's anniversary had slipped past them because of their fragile state of being. She'd laughed at him that morning, hearing all about it to tide back the sadness.

Twenty-four. It felt young and old all at the same time. Hermione had just gotten used to being pregnant so young, getting older was another hard task to swallow.

She shifted in Severus' arms, a place she'd called home for only a handful of days feeling more like home than anything ever had before.

When he woke later that evening, she was already up having hardly slept anyways, and Hermione had a question on her lips before he could even come to consciousness.

"If I wanted to try to repair things with my parents, would you support me, Severus?"

He blinked a few times, his face serious when he finally straightened it out.

"Why?"

"I want them to know what's happened with me too... but I'm not so prideful that I won't tell them in hopes to earn their forgiveness."

"Guilt them back into your life, that is very... you of you."

Hermione smiled a little.

"You're not so eloquent after a fat nap."

"I was starting to feel the tear on our bonds, Madame Snape, I needed the rest," he mumbled, pulling her in again.

"I couldn't sleep."

"I apologize," he told her, kissing her neck and cheeks. "I wish-"

"So do I."

"Hermione, I think your parents might be beneficial, and if I am an obstacle-"

"No," she hushed him, placing her small hand over his lips, grinning at his wide eyes and speechless shortage of breath. "No, don't do that, they can have us or nothing at all. As much as I think they'd make me feel better about all of this, I think that losing you in any capacity wouldn't make it worth it."

He sighed. It was the answer he'd wanted but not the one he'd expected.

"It's going to take a while to trust you fully, Hermione. Just know I will put forth the effort to do so like I once did. Implicitly."

"Thank you," she said, lip quivering as she kissed him, the tears flowing anew.

The loss didn't hurt any less, but she felt less hopeless than she had in the morning, and that counted for enough.

A/N: I'm definitely not just about Hermione's age in this fic, and it definitely does not terrify me. Wild. I hope everyone who is here for this journey is enjoying! We're down to the last few chapters, and then I have a handful of epilogues (don't ask) to share with the final chapter! Started working on some new WIP's too, I may even be dipping my toe into the Dramione world! Who knows!