First Time

77

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't love my daughter Aiden," she says in a condescending tone, "You're just using her as a crutch. You're dependent on her because you have no one else right now."

I lean back against the doorpost, arms folded calmly. I don't know if her intention is to hurt me, but she has no idea who she is dealing with. I don't give a fuck about her opinion. All I am thinking about is how much more attractive she would be without those bags under her eyes and if she wasn't so tightly wound up.

"In the end, you're only going to hurt her because you will only treat her exactly how you've seen your parents treat each other. Unless you get help to deal with your past first and heal, you will never be the kind of guy who knows how to love. And the kind of guy that my daughter deserves."

"You're wrong," I simply tell her.

"I'm not. And you know I'm not. Tell you what, you make Emily come home with me today and I will take you on as a patient. For free. We will work through your trauma together and help you get to a better place. Then we can entertain the idea of you having a friendship with my daughter."

Her futile attempt makes me smile.

"Claire, is it? Yeah, Claire, thanks but no thanks. I don't need any help or advice from you. You're delusional as fuck you know that?"

"Excuse me?"

"You think because you have a degree in psychoanalysing that it makes you better than me? You think you're the world's best parent? You don't know shit about your daughter. And if you were the best parent, she wouldn't have lied to you and hidden it from you the first time she fell in love."

"She's not in love... she has been brainwashed by you!"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about, you can't even accept how she really feels."

"That's how she thinks she feels. She doesn't even know you. She has no idea what you've done and what you're capable of!"

Her "nicey nice" personality is melting away quickly.

"Well, there goes your sweet as sugar act. You "care" when you want to psychoanalyse me but not enough to let me be with your daughter right?"

"You!" she says with gritted teeth, pointing a long finger in my face, "You are a very dangerous person. And if my daughter knew what you did, she would never be in that house alone with you. She's too young and too naïve to see that this toxic obsession you have with each other is going to end up in tears for her! And I'll be damned if I let someone like you take advantage of her!"

"I guess your counselling offer is out of the window now," I chuckle and shrug.

"Oh, you think this is funny? I have tried to be nice young man but..."

"But what? What are you gonna do? Hit me? Drag her out of the house? Call the police? You said it yourself; she is sixteen. She can decide to leave home. She can decide to be with me. And maybe while she's gone, you can think about where you fucked up as her mum."

She gasps, deeply offended.

"How dare you!"

"Why does Emily have such terrible nightmares? I'm talking screaming and kicking and crying. She's been through something right? But she has no idea, does she?"

Her face turns white as a sheet, and she stares at me blankly.

"What happened to her Claire?"

"You...don't know anything," her voice trembles, "You better watch what you're saying."

"She told me that at Christmas, she found out you guys are keeping a secret from her..."

"Be quiet!"

"What are you and your husband hiding Claire? Why are you both lying to her?"

"Shut up!" she screams losing her cool.

"Yeah, I thought so."

Her eyes tear up and I can see the physical effort it is taking her not to cry. I don't know what this secret is but clearly, she doesn't want to be reminded of it.

"Well, this was fun. If you don't have anything else to say..." I start to close the door.

"Emily! Emily!" she yells at the top of her voice, a foot wedged in the doorway, "Please sweetheart, it's mum! Come home with me! Come home!"

"Did I not say she was sleeping? What the hell are you shouting for?"

"Give me back my daughter!"

"I didn't take her."

"You misled her. You...Emily!"

"That's it. I've fucking had it. You can piss off now!"

I push the door harder, but she now has her palms flat against it.

"Emily! Emily!" she keeps shouting.

"Fuck off! I will slam the door on you if you don't move," I warn her.

"No, I won't leave her!"

"You should have thought of that last night. Now get lost!"

"You're only going to hurt her! Please! Don't do this!"

"Move!"

Eventually she gives up and I slam the door shut in her face.

I stride up the stairs and sneak back in the bedroom and into bed. Emily stirs softly and reaches out to feel me. I shuffle closer and gently place an arm around her.

"Where did you go?" she moans, still half asleep.

I pull her closer and lock her in my arms.

"Nowhere, I'm right here."