His Only Hope

Hotel Obsidian

"Eight?" Diego asked when you approached, leaning over to inspect your injuries. "They did this? Oh, just wait. I'm going to-"

"It wasn't all their fault," you admitted, and when everyone looked at you oddly, you shook your head. "It doesn't matter. Where do we go from here? I just want to sleep."

"I've got you," Five said firmly, pressing his forehead to yours briefly as you continued walking.

You and your battered family staggered into a small park area, sitting heavily on the benches and tables.

"I'm just gonna sit. I'm just gonna sit, for a minute," Luther grunted.

"Well that didn't go well," Diego pointed out, and you rolled your eyes weakly.

"No, not our best work," Five said dryly, wrapping his arm around your shoulder at you sat next to each other.

"Oh, I'm cracking," Klaus groaned from where he lay on the table, his joints popping loudly.

"You all right?" Allison asked a stunned-looking Luther.

"I don't know yet," he replied, wide-eyed. "I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like..." He paused, holding his hands out as though gifting Allison an invisible object. "Here you go. It's your ass."

You blinked at him, unsure whether or not you were just delusional.

"Okay. I think Luther's concussed," Allison concluded.

"Luther. How many fingers?" Klaus asked, holding up his hand.

"Oh my God," Luther said, pointing behind you. "Vanya!"

"Thank God you're alive," Vanya said as she walked over, and you felt bad for not thinking about her before. You were just so tired...

"Apparently, so is Ben," Klaus added.

"Yeah, and he's a complete dickhead," Allison said.

"They're all dickheads," Diego muttered.

"Dickheads who can fight."

"And dickheads who can control fire," you said after Luther, and he looked at you, alarmed.

"Okay, the next person to say 'dickhead' is getting a punch to the throat," Five said, annoyed.

"Dickhead."

"Dickhead."

"Dickhead."

"Dickhead."

"Dickhead," you said, yawning.

"I don't see you punching Eight in the throat," Klaus said teasingly as Five sighed. His expression turned surprised and he coughed while the others pretended not to hear.

"Hey, did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids?" Diego asked Klaus, and the latter chuckled.

"He sure did! You ready? Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely different group of children just so that he didn't have to raise us."

You snorted, shaking your head.

"Of course he did," you said.

"That's just peak Dad," Diego agreed.

"Isn't it?" Luther asked.

"So he just didn't want us anymore?" Vanya questioned from her bench.

"Did he ever?" Allison fired back, frowning.

"See? I told you we shouldn't have asked him for help in '63," Luther said, throwing his arm out at his side.

"I think you're all missing the big picture here," Five began, and you nodded,