Accolade

chapitre seize

For some reason, these family bonds were everything right now. 

Perhaps it was the sense of connection I felt. The way their strength flowed into me like summer rain soaking into the parched soil. That lingering presence that I knew would never leave me in my darkest hour because they weren't like shadows in the sunlight, they were shadows of the night that were there even unseen. 

I knew that not every family was like this. Some families fought, some never spoke to each other, and some had families without blood relations. I think the meaning of family is different for each individual person, and the dynamic of the relationship they pursue. But in the unexpected event of a tragedy or heartwrenching news, a family will either turn into glue or shatter. 

It was just my brothers and me in this little family of mine. 

Mom had been the heart of us, and we each carried a piece of her, but somehow we had figured out how to keep ourselves from shattering. Whatever glue kept us together, it was strong. Although we still mourned our loss. It had only been three years. Warren mourned the most, that I had learned. I don't think there would ever be a moment that any of us were okay with the things that happened, we would always carry the loss. 

Suddenly, I realized that they would suffer another.

My brothers had just lost their mom to cancer, and now I had the same disease. Inherited fate. It had progressed so quickly, caught too late. Part of it was my fault. I should have gone when the pain started, I just hadn't wanted to admit something was wrong. Would things be different if I had gone sooner? Would the cancer be curable? 

Two months down the road, how much would they grieve? 

I suddenly couldn't bear it. 

"Aida."

Someone touched the top of my hand and I sucked in a sharp breath as with the reconnection with reality. My eyes flew to bright blue ones. 

"You're crying," River said softly, a furrow in his eyebrows. Those intelligent eyes could see my soul. If he could telepathically read my thoughts, he didn't show it. Just concern. 

I gently touched my fingertips to my wet cheek, and he was right. I had been silently crying and I hadn't even realized. I wiped the saltiness away, and said, "I'm fine, I just got stuck in my head."

"That's a dangerous thing," River warned. 

"I know, I try not to," I admitted. I was aware that Auden was listening now, even as he cooked because his head was tilted towards us. Warren shifted in his seat. "It's just... I was thinking about the future and how everything will be."

"You shouldn't," Warren suddenly spoke, his voice low and rough, "There's only today. You're wasting time thinking about everything that's either happened or hasn't happened yet." 

Well, when he put it like that. "You're right," I said with a slight nod of my head, "But what if there's no tomorrow?"

Warren looked at me then. "Waste of time," He repeated, pointedly. It was a waste of time to worry about something that hasn't happened, I just couldn't stop my mind from conjuring the worst case scenario. It was human nature. Horrid, really. 

I sucked in a breath and then exhaled, "Alright. Today, I got it." 

"Speaking of today," Auden slid plates onto the counter for us, and then glanced at me, "You and Lucy seemed..." 

He trailed off. I shook my head and said, "I got emotional at something she said and I was wrong. It wasn't the end of our friendship." 

"Okay," Auden nodded. 

I wondered why he would address the issue, and then it hit me. Had he noticed how she acted around them? Perhaps he thought that it would ruin Lucy and I's friendship. He didn't elaborate. He sat down next to Warren, the four of us eyeing the gourmet food. 

"Are there security cameras in the parking garage?" Warren asked, suddenly. 

"Yeah, I'm sure Anton has access. Why?" 

"Someone tampered with my motorcycle overnight."

"You have a motorcycle?" I repeated, eyes widening. 

Warren squinted at me. "Well, yeah. How else do you think I got here?" 

"By car?" 

"That's boring," He shrugged his shoulders, and a wry smile slipped across his lips, "I like a little thrill."

I wanted to ask if he would take me for a ride sometime, I had never ridden a motorcycle. I was sure it would be an experience. But I didn't. Our conversation ended when he picked up his fork and dug into the food that Auden had prepared, and the rest of us followed suit. 

I savoured every bite but I was also acutely aware of the atmosphere around me. I couldn't remember the last time all four of us had eaten dinner together, save for the past few weeks, and it made me realize how much I cherished these moments. 

Moments that were becoming my life. 

I didn't know what tomorrow held. Even yesterday was long gone. 

There was no place to live but in the now, and that is why it is called the present; as a wise old tortoise once said. 

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Since when ya'll silent readers?

I miss all your comments, they're the most important part to me. I was sad when no one said anything last chapter. My favorite part about being a wattpad author is the interactions I can have with my readers <3