Accolade

chapitre seize

"Yeah," I called back and then stood from the couch. There was a brief twinge of pain in both legs that caused me to pause half for a second, and then I straightened. I tried not to let myself think about cancer eating my bone away like carpenter bees with plywood. I grabbed the remote and paused the show. "You could have woken me sooner, I could have helped him cook." 

Warren snorted. "You needed it, and Auden can be a big boy." 

I rolled my eyes but smiled. He walked just a step behind my side as I went into the kitchen. River was sitting at the counter, texting someone. I slid onto a stool beside him. He smiled a little, though something else lingered in his eyes, "Nice nap?" 

"Yeah," I nodded, "You working again?" 

"Only a little," He confessed. "There have been issues going on with the managers, they need some direction. I don't want half my employees quitting before I return."

"That wouldn't be good," I agreed. Warren took a seat beside me, our legs almost touching, but he didn't seem to mind. The distance he had once kept was basically air now. Nonexistent. River had returned to responding to a text, when I asked, "When do you plan to go back? To Chicago, I mean?" 

River paused. He turned his head toward me, a wariness reflecting in those ocean depths. "I own the business, Aida, I can return when I feel like it."

Not when this was over. 

He hadn't said what I was thinking, although I had a feeling he knew exactly what that was. In so little time, River had proven his maturity and depth of character. He could probably read me like an open book. "That's cool," I murmured, "It must be nice to make your own work schedule." 

He laughed softly. "Oh, no. That's not how it works. I just work all the time. I bring work home with me, I take work on vacation," as he spoke, he glanced down at the phone in his hands and then slowly slipped it back in his pocket. "If you're not careful, work can consume you and eat away time that's meant for those you love." 

"You say it like that's happened," I acknowledged his subtle movement. 

"It did," He nodded, "I wish I had been there for Mom." 

His confession drew silence from me. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Warren turn his head and glance at his oldest brother. I could only imagine his thoughts. Auden may have been the only one who didn't hear the words spoken because he continued to work over the stove. River glanced down at the tabletop, his gaze distant. 

I knew that look. I carried the same self-blame and guilt. One that develops through the stages of grief, when you question if there was anything you could have done different before the tragedy struck. I wished I hadn't listened to Mom urging me to chase my dreams when she was in her final days.

When none of us could find the right words to say, we mutually agreed to let the topic fade. I wasn't exactly in the healthiest condition to discuss what had happened with Mom, as I was inheriting that same fate. The heart can only handle so much. It was ironic how fragile humans were until our only choice was to survive. 

I rested my hands on the counter and focused on watching Auden. He was dishing up food from sizzling pans, his movements effortless. If he hadn't become a professional fashion designer, I could definitely see him as a chef; and I think my tastebuds were about to agree.

It reminded me of the first day they had arrived. Auden had effortlessly made himself at home. He helped Lucy and I cook dinner, and our conversations had been unlike former strangers. River had come with an intimidating presence but now I understood that he carried wisdom, with a touch of analytical skills. I was still trying to figure out Warren, he had revealed some of his struggles, but I wanted our bond to keep growing. Just as it had moments ago.