Counting Paths

Chapter 20.

Then she throws up.

"Sterling!" I jump up and rush to her, moving around the already big puddle of vomit. I move behind her to stay out of its reach and hold her hair back, but before I can do anything, she collapses into my arms. "Jesus, you're burning up!" Too scared to pick her up and move her, I fall back on the floor and hold her against my chest. She groans, almost completely limp in my arms. "Sterling?"

"I'm sorry," she says in a trembling, weak voice. She begins to cry.

"Shh, it's okay-it's okay. You're going to be okay." I brush her hair behind her ear repeatedly. The gentlest touch and you can feel the fever boiling her alive. She's already beginning to sweat.

Moose comes into the room and starts barking.

"Shut her up!" I order Kevin. He picks her up and carries her out of the house.

I feel Sterling's body find strength again. It brings me enough hope to almost start breathing again, but then she stiffens, winces, and leans over my arm to throw up again.

She throws up so hard, some of it shoots out of her nose. I hold her hair back with one hand and arm her arm reassuringly with the other.

When she's done and grows lumps again, I pull her closer, grab the hem of my shirt, and wipe around the lower half of her face.

"No...hospitals," she pants.

"But you-"

"Please?" She moves so she's leaning almost on my arm instead of my chest and peers up at me with foggy eyes. The color of green lingers on her pale face. "Promise me."

"You made me go to the hospital for my hand."

"They fixed your hand. They can't fix me. I'll be sick there...I'll be sick here...doesn't matter where. Please?"

"Okay," I reluctantly agree. She has a point. "I promise." I lean down and kiss her forehead.

Sterling threw up seven more times. She threw up once more on the living room floor, two more times when I carried her upstairs, which took me almost half an hour because of all the times I had to stop and rest because she insisted she felt dizzy, and the last four were when I gave her medicine. We tried pills which she puked back up instantly. We tried liquid medicine and it only made her vomit colorful. She begged us to stop with the medication after that. I considered taking her to the hospital, but she started crying and screaming that I would break my promise. It took me twenty minutes to calm her down. Then another twenty minutes later, after just lying there for so long, she fall asleep. I almost woke her up checking her breathing multiple times.

"Her heart is racing," Russell tells me. I'm not exactly sure when he got here. He just showed up and started comforting Sterling. "And her fever is a hundred and two. We have to take her to the hospital."

I shake my head. "No hospital."

"But she-"

"I said no!"

Sterling flinches at the volume of my voice but remains unconscious.

"Nothing lasts forever," I say in a much-lowered voice. "She will ride this out." He releases her hand and stands. He walks past me and crosses my bedroom. "Where are you going?"

Before he reaches the door, he stops and turns halfway. "I can't just sit there and watch her like that." There's an edge to his voice. If I didn't know better, I would say he's angry.

"Yes, you can. It's the only thing we can do for her. Be there for her."

"I can't see her that way."