running [h.s]

six

I had flowers in my hair and you had a smile on your face. I remember the feeling I got whilst around you. It was so ethereal, baby.

You were sitting in the grass, watching me admire the beauty around me. Though, I seemed to admire you more than anything else.

I never understood how something so beautiful could be so dead. You were the dead leaves in October. So beautiful, but crumbled up dry.

You were smiling, and god, it was perfect. You seemed happy. But then again, I've never been good at reading emotions.

Because if you were happy, you wouldn't have left. And now I'm sad and lonely. I sometimes blame it on you.

My knuckles are black and blue from punching walls in my fits of anger. Why would you do this Harry? I'm so, so angry.

I don't sleep because images of you haunt me. Nothing appeals to me anymore. Life doesn't appeal to me. You are so selfish, I don't think I will ever understand your ways.

But now I'm teary eyed with clenched fists. And, I blame it on you. I still love you and I fucking hate it.

In the end, you left me and you're not coming back. I try to think of why you did, but I come up with blanks.

I stare at the wall. And I swear, a million ideas run through my head. I don't know how long I can handle this, Harry. I'm near the deep end, and I don't know how to swim. It's all just a big mess, really.

I don't know where home is. You used to be my home. For a while. I feel like I don't belong here, on earth.

I am unwanted and unstable. What a beautiful pair. So, tell me baby. Do you like your girls insane?