Miserable | The Marauders

39

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Third-Person

Evan Rosier was always oblivious to the effect he had on people with certain things he did. He was particularly good at writing and drawing like a Greek God, speaking and singing like a poet. He didn't do the last one very much, but when he did, everyone in Hogwarts swooned.

James and Sirius had braved going to the Slytheirn common room since their last prank on them in which everything was pink. James had a mission to ask Evan for his permission to marry Jordan-Ella. He didn't need his permission, but he wanted to honor Evan and ask for his permission to marry his older sister. Sirius tagged along in the event that Evan says no.

The two Gryffindors' jaws dropped when Lyra allowed them in the common room to see everyone staring at Evan. He had a pair of muggle headphones over his ears, but was shamelessly and lowly singing the words to the current song he was listening to. Everyone was listening to Evan. No one dared to look away. Especially Regulus Black.

Sirius slowly walked over to his little brother and sat down beside him, trying not to spook him. "Reggie, what are you doing?"

Regulus kept his eyes glued to the beautiful boy in front of him. "What does it look like, Sirius? I'm listening to Evan. Can you not hear him? He sounds so...beautiful."

James didn't disagree with Regulus. It was clear that spending too much time listening to Evan might make him switch which sibling he would marry. He sounded elegant and peaceful.

Tired of everyone's swooning, Sirius marched towards the table Evan was sitting at and made himself known to Evan. The younger Rosier looked up innocently and pulled his headphones down to his neck. Sirius was starting to understand all the lust towards Evan.

Sirius shook off his unholy thoughts and put on his poker-face. "Evan, my favorite Rosier!"

Evan gave Sirius a bored look. "What do you want, Sirius? Merlin knows I'm not your favorite Rosier."

"What makes you say that?"

"Remember when you went around yelling at everyone and asking them who burned all of your Queen shirts and broke all of your Queen records? Also, do you remember coming into your dorm only to find everything missing?" Evan asked, while a smirk formed on his face.

Sirius nodded, yet to realize the things Evan had done. "That was me." Evan stated. "I burned the shirts, broke the records, stole all of your furniture, broke all of your beater bats, cut holes into your quidditch jerseys, and set your fancy, new broom on fire during your fifth year. I was also the one who lifted you in the air and dropped you in the lake."

Sirius' jaw dropped again. "Why would you do such things to me? Why would you do such things to anyone? What's so wrong with you that you would do these things? I bet it was you who sent Peter anonymous letters threatening him!"

Evan nodded. "I won't lie, it was me. Anytime anything happened to the four of you, it was most likely me. What's wrong with me you ask? A lot, Sirius. A lot of us are a little mental, but I don't hide it."

Sirius was in shock. "How do they still fall for you? How are they still at your feet?"

"If you had shagged me, you would know why. People love a crazy man in the sheets." Evan shrugged. "I've tried drowning Regulus since we were five and he still loves me. I bullied Lily for five years and she still went on dates with me. I even held a knife to Barty's throat and he still fancies me."

"Sirius, what are you doing?" James asked, finally finished making sure Regulus made it through his swooning. He looked between a proud Evan and a petrified Sirius. "I'm not even going to ask. Evan, may I speak to you."