Everlasting Beauty || ENHA

16. 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚜

How was I supposed to do this? I had to somehow get Heeseung out of my house to do as I wished. But I can't tell him what it was. He would never leave me alone if I did. My heart ached.

Then my opportunity arrived. Someone knocked on my door. I was still a little to drunk to open the door without embarrassing myself so Heeseung went to open it. I listened from the kitchen.

It was Jungwon and Jake. "Heeseung. We all need to talk. You, Jay, Myself, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Niki. Now." Jake spoke seriously. "Alright, give me a minute." Heeseung said, quickly walking back to the kitchen.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon ok? Go to sleep love." He said to me, kissing my forehead before walking out of the house with Jake and Jungwon. I'm really sorry Heeseung.

I stumbled upstairs and say on my bed. I grabbed a notebook from in the nightstand and a pen. I ripped out a piece of paper and began to write.

'I want to start by saying sorry for this. Whoever is reading this first and the others to possibly read this, you dont deserve the regret and sadness I am to cause.

I never wanted to hurt any of you. I'm in pain. A lot of it. After everything that has happened I cant live normally ever again. All I wished for was my life back.

Jay, I knew Hei-ran was better than me. Shes probably amazing and so much more better than me and I hope you guys live well and happily.

And I dont hate you. I didnt mean it when I said that. I hate that I still love you. But I dont hate you. Though I must admit you hurt me a lot. You scared me with your anger.

Father, I'm sorry to you as well for doing this to you. I started drinking. I followed in her steps. I'm ashamed to the core and I hope you still love me. Right? I will always love you.

Heeseung. Thank you so so so much. You did your best and you deserve to relax. I'm so grateful to have had someone like you there with me and care for me like you did.

And...that kiss. I don't regret it and I wish I could kiss you again. I'll miss you. Every part of you. I love you a lot. Thank you again.

It sucks that I love both you and Jay. I'm just confused and I hate to put it on both of you like this. That confusion is killing me in a lot of different ways. Again, please forgive me. I beg of you to forgive me.

My world no longer is colorful and full of life. Its grey and miserable. I cant live like that and I dont think it will change. Not after all this. Dont think of me everyday. That goes to whoever reads this.

It's not worth making yourself sad over. I'm not worth making yourself sad. May all of your lives be filled with love and light. As much as I believe mother wouldnt be with the light and rather with the darkness...

I'll see her again. I'll forgive her. I forgive everyone.

From: Mi-young

To: You'

I sighed and folded it once. I suddenly felt sleepy. I slipped it in my nightstand drawer without thinking as if someone was controlling me. I tucked into the sheets and slowly fell asleep.

Time skip~

I woke up, hungover. My head pounded. Suddenly I heard whispering, making me sit up quickly. I couldnt understand what it was saying but it was whispering. I looked around and there was nobody in my room.

It sounded like it was right in my ear though. It's gone though. Weird. Then I remembered the note and my intentions last night. I'm going through with it.

I went downstairs and into the garage. There was rope. I guess I'm REALLY going to follow in my mothers steps. I grabbed it and went into the dining room. I grabbed a chair.