WE Are (Veddie) [Venom&FemEddie]

Stupid Bond

“Send me the cleanin’ bill?” Eddie shoots her another sheepish smile when she only receives another withering look.

“Well?” Anne glances to Venom, who is strangely quiet again.

Eddie narrows her eyes at him. “Really? For once, you have nothin’ to say?” She snorts in amusement when she gets no response, sarcastically mutters out, “Are you dyin’, V? Is it the end of time already?”

Venom stares back at Eddie, doesn’t rise to the bait (mentally pats himself on the “back” for it.) He finally turns to Annie after a few moments of silence, then, finally tells the truth. “He deserved a lot worse than what I did to him...”

“I knew it! You know you can’t lie to me, VV.” Anne tells him, her voice stern, like a mother scolding her child (like she often does. Though, she swears the two of them are like an old married couple.)

Eddie wants to scoff at Anne’s words (ironically, he can’t lie to “Annie,” but lying to her is no problem at all...)

‘I would never lie to you, Eddie.’ Venom knows the thought sounds more hurt than he means it to, but he’s already automatically thought it before he can stop himself. He quickly recovers by adding a cheeky, ‘I might... just keep things to myself sometimes...’

Eddie scoffs loud and clear in her mind, thinks that’s rich, considering they’re supposed to be one in the same.

Venom doesn’t have a heart, but he still feels the sting of her thoughts, still feels the guilt. Everything he ever does is always for Eddie, whether she knows it or not (whether she likes it or not...) However, he doesn’t get to respond, because Annie is yelling at them again.

“Stop that! I can tell when you’re doing it!” Anne snaps, glares between them both.

Eddie feels like a stupid 12 year old when she feels her cheeks heating at the rather suggestive way her friend has worded her annoyance. Thankfully, this time, she forces herself to think of literally anything else, thinks the fucked up thoughts away before they can reach... the other half of her brain. “I knew I could taste blood when I woke up!” She hisses angrily, glares and points an accusing finger up at him. She knew she wasn’t imaging things, knew that it wasn’t just her groggy mind (deeply hoped it wasn’t just her finally growing used to the damn taste of human blood!)

Damn – Venom thinks – always forgets about that stupid little teeth cleaning ritual humans do. Well, why can’t they just be self-cleaning like his? It’s just stupid.

“Brush your teeth!” Anne snaps rather dismissively.

“I did! The taste lingers!” Eddie snaps back at her, then, glares back up at the alien.

“Sorry... I will brush them for you next time.” Venom offers with a cheesy grin.

“What am I? A damn car now?” Eddie scoffs.

“Excuse me!” Anne snaps, glares at them both again when both their heads snap back to face her (if she wasn’t so pissed off, she would probably laugh at how comically in sync they are.) “I still have a severed fucking head in my fucking freezer, and I would like you both to get rid of it before Dan comes home from work and probably passes the fuck out after he finds it... like normal people do.”

“Ew.” Eddie wrinkles her face in disgust, then, looks genuinely confused as she asks, “Why’d you put it in your freezer?”

“Because I’m not carrying a severed head around in my purse, and I don’t want my house to smell like death. Which, by the way –“ Anne glances around the apartment, shoots them both a pointed look. “– I think I would rather smell than whatever the hell is going on in here.”

“Yeah, it’s the fuckin’ chickens.” Eddie grits out, shoots Venom another glare, then, thoughtfully adds, “Birds really do smell bad. Remind me never to get that parrot I’ve always wanted.”

“Eddie, Venom.” Anne is shaking with outrage, though, somehow, she keeps her voice calm, somehow, stays composed. “If the two of you don’t take care of this little mess before Dan sees it and has a heart attack, I will lock you both in a room that even Venom can’t get out of, and I will blast you with Morrissey, full volume... forever!” OK, she wouldn't leave them there forever, but she would do it!

"NO!!" Comes Venom’s childish exclamation.

Anne sends the alien a smug smirk, slowly arches a challenging brow.

Eddie grimaces. “Listenin’ to that at any volume can torture anybody.”

Anne huffs, now just looks deeply impatient as she crosses her arms over her chest again.

“Do you want me to eat his head, too? Trevor, I mean, not Morrissey... I bet he tastes as awful as his music.” Venom asks after a moment of silence, waits for an answer from either or both of them.

Anne shoots him a withering look, but Eddie is glaring at him again. “I liked it better when you were quiet!” She snaps, then, hisses, “Why the fuck did you even think it was a good idea to leave a severed head on our friend’s doorstep?! And by way, that’s not me insinuating that you can leave severed heads on the doorsteps of people who are not our friends!” She adds the last part with a pointed glare.

Venom stares blankly for a few seconds before answering with a rather quiet, “Am I supposed to answer? ...You said you like it better when I’m quiet.”

Eddie’s eyes widen as she stares incredulously at him, then, turns to her friend as she seriously mutters out, “I’m gonna kill him.”

Venom scoffs. “You wouldn’t.” He says smugly, then, huffs in defeat when he sees that his humour is getting him nowhere (when he feels Eddie’s real anger beginning to sprout through their bond... and he feels guilty for going too far... stupid bond... stupid Eddie.)