And then suddenly, I can feel Theo's chin resting on the top of my head.
"Tori, I am real and I am here for you. Keep on crying. Huwag kang magalala, pupunasan ko naman ang mga luha mo para sa'yo." At dahil sa paraan ng pagsabi niya ay lalo lang akong naiyak. He gave me a comforting hug and I am really thankful that he's here for me.
Theo and I stayed in that kind of position for almost five minutes or that's what I thought.
"Thank you, Theo," I said, after a few minutes of companionable silence. I distance myself from him when I stopped crying. He put his hands back to his side. At nang tumingin ako sa damit niya ay doon ko lang na basa ito.
"I think I ruined your shirt."
"Don't worry about my shirt."
"Papalitan ko na lang ito."
"Tori, huwag mo na alalahanin ang shirt ko. Besides, I left a lot of shirts in the hospital. I can change when I'm back." He muttered and when I'm about to turn my heels to face my back he hurriedly holds my shoulders.
"Do you want to grab some snacks? To make you feel better." At dahil sa sinabi niya ay nakaramdam ako ng pagkagutom.
"That's actually a good idea," I said. Hindi na ako nakatingin sa likuran ko nang simula na kaming maglakad ni Theo palayo. When we were on our way to look for an open store, he told me that he was in the vicinity to buy some food for his younger sister. And then he accidentally saw me from afar.
Hindi rin kami nahirapan makakita ni Theo nang bukas na store kahit halos alas dos na ng umaga. Nearly anything are still accessible at any house in this city.
"I got into a fight with my brothers." I told him. Halata kasi sa mga mata nito na gusto niyang magtanong ngunit pinipigilan niya lang ang sarili niya. I tried biting to my ice cream and continue speaking.
"You know about that already. Lagi na lang kaming nagaaway." Nakita ko ang pagtango niya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nag sinungaling kay Theo. Maybe because I don't him to know how awful I am and what kind of person I've become.
I want him to see me as a good friend with no issues.
"Theo, I really appreciate you for taking me out here." I didn't know that Theo always unnerved me. There were times when I'm sending him an email as DisneyPrincess, it always felt so good to let my emotions put into words. At siya lang ang nakakabasa nito. All my rants in my life for two years, he's been reading it all. He was there for me until now.
"It's been nice knowing you, Theo." Nang tumingin siya sa akin ay may munting ngiti ang naglalaro sa kanyang mga labi.
"Likewise, Tori," Theo muttered.
"Here you are, Victoria Abbel eating ice cream in the middle of the night. And here I am thinking that you're almost good as dead."
Damn. It was Nikos, his face decorated with his infamous half-smile. His eyes were sharp, giving us a bland expression on his face. Nagulat kaming dalawa ni Theo dahil sa biglang pag sulpot nito.
"Nikos!" I exclaimed. Theo looked confused.
"He's my cousin." Napatango naman si Theo dahil sa sinabi ko. Nikos doesn't have to say anything, based on his annoyed face I know that we have to go.
"Theo, I think I have to go. Thank you for today." I motioned lightly in the direction of my cousin, who is now waiting for me.
"No worries, Tori. Are you sure you'll be okay?" Tumango ako sa kanya.
"Well, I think I have to go back to the hospital then." He said, giving me a quick glance and a friendly smile. Theo raises his hands and waves them. He muttered goodbye to me and to Nikos who's been so serious since I saw him tonight. Naunang umalis si Theo sa aming dalawa ni Nikos.
"Why are you here?" Tanong ko sa pinsan ko nang makalabas kami sa shop.
"You know why." Maikling sagot nito sa akin at sinundan siya kung saan niya pinark ang kanyang kotse.
I followed him, half running. Nikos is aware of my condition.
At nang makapunta kaming dalawa sa kotse ay nagulat na lang ako dahil nakita kong nakatayo si Kalev sa may kotse habang si Hiro naman ay nakasandal dito.
I guess they all knew. I was the only one blinded to admit it.
"Your brothers are worried. We have to go back." Sabi ni Nikos nang buksan niya ang driver's seat at agad itong pumasok.
"We are, too." Hiro said. Naglakad ito palapit sa akin at niyakap ako nang mahigpit. And I almost nears to tears again. Having Hiro around is so rare. Siya lang ang katangi-tangi kong pinsan na napakahirap hagilapin. And I wonder what's he doing here?
"Let's go home." He whispered and tap my shoulders lightly.
Home. I never heard that word for so long.
I watched Hiro enter the car and Kalev gave me a faint smile on his lips.
"Let's go back, Tori." Kalev opened the door for me. Sumakay na rin ako sa loob ng kotse kahit puno ako ng pagaalinlangan. I don't want to see my brothers just yet. And of course my father and mother.
The ride was awfully quiet. Walang nagsasalita sa aming apat. If this is just a normal day for me, then I am sure that I will be the one who'll do all the talking. Pero ngayon ay wala akong lakas na magsalita.
I am physically drained. Theo surely helped me a lot earlier. He made me calm. But after crying for so long, I just got tired. Well, I guess that loud person can be quiet too. I almost laugh at my situation. When I used to be loud, they'll tell me to stay quiet. Now that I am not speaking, they'll ask me what's wrong with me.
"How did you know that I was there?" Basag ko sa katahimikan. Nikos gave me a quick glance before diverting his eyes to the road.
"Maybe I'm just that great," Nikos said using his serious voice. And I know that he's not here to play. Nanaig na naman ang katahimikan naming apat. I heard Kalev groan at Nikos' statement and Hiro laugh a little. And when he realized that this isn't a laughing matter, he pressed his lips to a thin line and stayed quiet.
After fifteen minutes of driving we reached the house. Naunang bumaba si Kalev at Hiro. Napahawak naman ako nang mahigpit sa seatbelt at tumingin kay Nikos.
"I don't think I can face them." I told him honestly and I thought I couldn't cry anymore. Nagulat na lang ako nang may mga pumatak na naman na munting butil sa aking mata.
"I'm embarrassed. I'm hurting everyone, Nik. And I am starting to hate myself for that. I'm such an asshole." There. I admit it. Everything is just coming to me. Habang naglalakad ako kanina nang umiiyak ay marami akong naisip at narealize. I'm too blinded by my love for Trevor that I'm hurting my family.
"Alam mo ba? Some people count sheep in their sleep while I'm stuck in my bed and all I did was self-loathing." My voice muffled in my breath. And Nikos was just sitting there on the driver's seat giving me his handkerchief.
"You know Tori, self-love seems like the perfect thing to say to you but I don't think that's the case. Self-awareness is what you need. You need to go once in a while and admit your faults. And there's nothing wrong in owning up to your actions, Tori." Umiling ako sa sinabi ni Nikos.
"I don't understand." Nikos looked at me with a serious expression on his face. His eyes were sharp and piercing and I almost mistook him for Kalev.
"You have to take up the responsibility now. Because if you finally take responsibility, you have the power to change things. You have to face it because right from the start you are responsible for your life." And then he stops speaking. He swallowed hard before trying to continue.
"You just need to admit it to yourself. And everything else will be easy."
"Admit what?"
"That you have a psychotic depression."
***
YOU ARE READING
The Possessive Psychopath
General Fiction[Possessive Series 4] MATURED CONTENT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. R18. "You became mine the moment I saw you helplessly sitting on the bench-two in the fucking morning, freezing to death due to the cold weather of Manhattan, New York." - Trevor Dmitri ...
Chapter 34
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