kisses

°9°

Sidharth," Brooke says, right before they both start giggling,

I wish I could tell them how God-awful it is working with Sidharth, but neither of them would believe me, so I keep my mouth shut.

"He is so incredibly sexy," Brooke says when the giggling has mostly stopped. Lara nods her agreement.

"Last summer, I heard he was seeing that one girl who's TikTok famous, with like a trillion followers. The one who made a movie?"

"Ugh, I remember. She played all coy and never confirmed it, but I swear I saw photos of them together. She's disgustingly gorgeous. Of course, he dated her." Lara rolls her eyes before glancing down at herself. "I could be so lucky to be as thin as she is."

I take in Lara's figure as discreetly as I can. She's very fit. I don't know why she's complaining

"I hear he likes older women," Brooke says, but I assume she's only heard gossip about Sidharth and his supposed preference for older women. I mean really-how does she know? "I can't remember the last time he was dating a girl who goes here."

"Freshman year maybe?" Lara nods her agreement.

"What about Ariana?" I say.

They both study me, eerily quiet.

"He went to prom with her last year," I remind them. "Weren't they something?"

"Oh please. She was a total drug addict. She went to rehab over the summer." Brooke wrinkles her nose. "He was probably with her to get in good with her dealer."

Lara laughs, slapping her best friend's arm. "Brooke!"

"What? It's true. I know Sidharth Shukla likes to partake on occasion."

How she knows this, I'm not sure, but whatever.

"And like I said, he prefers older women. He definitely doesn't like girls who go to Shukla, that's for sure. Not anymore. Maybe it's the uniforms?"

I tune them out, glancing down at my uniform skirt, how it drapes over my knees, covering them completely. I hear my father's voice in my head, always so old-fashioned with his remarks about my appearance. Reminding me I need to keep my skirts at a modest length. No need to show off excess flesh. I've been sheltered my entire life, especially after that one painful incident when I was twelve.

When I was young and gullible, and believed everything was told.

My gaze drops to the stupid shoes on my feet. I remember feeling like they made me seem so stylish, and for a while, I was. The girls here at school considered me a total trendsetter for wearing these shoes.

Now I look at the Mary Jane's and realize that I look like a child. A little girl with white socks, my bare legs exposed to the chilly air because of "fashion."

What sort of fashion is this? I look ridiculous.

I am ridiculous. No boy will ever notice me when I look like this.

Certainly not Sidharth Shukla. And since when do I want that particular boy to notice me? He's

horrible.

Yet attractive.

Rude.

Somehow charming.

He doesn't like me. He basically said that to me, more than once. I don't like him either. Yet...

I'm drawn to him.

Frustrated, I kick the leg of the table so hard, the entire thing rattles,

making the girls' laughter come to a complete stop. "Did you just kick the table?" Lara asks me after a moment of uncomfortable silence.