~Reddie~

Richie no...

TW SU*C*DE THOUGHTS AND ATTEMPTION, SLURS

Richie's POV
Dear Diary
Today's the day, I'm going to tell Eddie I like him, I know it'll ruin our friendship, and I haven't heard from Bill since I came out, so I know he hates me. But I had to get some things off my chest before I died. Now all I have left is figuring out a way to get Stan to hate me. Because coming out won't do it.

I close my journal and get ready to meet up with Eddie. Now it may seem like I'm a happy kid, with all my jokes, but I'm not. I'm a fag. I have parents who don't care. My friends are all I have.. and I'm not even sure I still have them. So I know, tonight will be my last, I'm going to tell Eddie I like him. And then I'm going to kill myself. I know how I'm going to do it. I've been planning it for months.

I reach where Eddie and I said we would meet, I grabbed his hand and just dragged him to the quarry.

"Eddie, i need to tell you something. And I know you'll hate me after, but I have to say it. Before I can't"

"Rich what do you mean 'before you can't' what's going on?"

"Shh.. just listen.. Eds, I've loved you, for so long. I know you dont feel the same. But I had to tell you, sometimes when I can't sleep I lay awake thinking about you. I daydream about kissing you. And sometimes I wish we were more then friends. But I know we never will me. So goodbye Eddie... I love you" I mumble the last few words as I turn around and start sprinting away.

I hear footsteps coming after me but I ignore them, I don't want to get rejected. And if he sees me crying, he'll hate me even more.

Eddie's POV
HE LIKES ME I CAN'T BELEIVE IT. but what's going on? I chase after Richie but my asthma kicks in, and hes a lot faster then me. I slow down and just walk the rest of the way to his house. I knock and there's no answer so I just walk in. I go up to Richie's room and see him curled up on the floor crying.

"Hey rich..."

"Eddie?.. you followed me?"

"Yes, now can we please talk about what just happend?"

"Whats there to talk about? I'm a disgusting faggot. And you want nothing to do with me" he whimpers and I sit next to him

"Richie that's not true. I love you too, I always have.. I always will.. now please don't leave me. I can't imagine life without you"

He looks up and I see him smile a bit. I'm about to do something that I've never had the courage to do before... I deeply breath in, and I kiss Richie.

Richie's POV
No way he likes me. He just feels guilty. I can feel it. He leaves and I get ready for my plan. I leave a note, in case anyone came looking for me

Dear losers, parents, or anyone else who may find this.

My time on earth has come go an end. Tonight I'm going to the quarry and I'm jumping off. Not where we normally would with the water. But on the side with the cliff. Hopefully it kills me.

Goodbye Bill, I know I never said it, but you were an amazing friend, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me.

Goodbye Stan, I know we never got along, but I truly cared about you. I hope you lead an amazing life Stanley Uris, because trust me, you're amazing, reach for the stars

Goodbye Eddie, this one is the hardest to write, you are, were, and always will be the love of my life, but I know you don't feel the same. You just felt bad because the depressed gay kid liked you, and you didn't want to hurt him. Well don't worry, I've been planning this for a long time, so don't think its your fault. I love you eds, I hope you live an amazing life, and get away from your mom and this shitty town. Go to New York like you've always dreamed of.

Goodbye mom and dad. You guys were never there for me. So I doubt you'll even notice when I'm gone. Which is why all I'm saying is goodbye. I hope you guys can become better people.
-Richie

I left the letter on my desk and biked to the quarry.

"RICHIE TOZIER?!" I hear an unfamiliar voice yell as I jump, and thats all I hear before everything goes black