Po struggles to balance on the serpent logs, and eventually ends up doing a painful split on two of them.
PO: Ow! Oh, that hurts!
He looks up and sees a spiky tethered ball, which hits and sends Po flying into the jade turtle exercise, where it rattles him around. The Five wince while Shifu looks on with a smile.]
SHIFU: [to the Five] This'll be easier than I thought.
PO: Feeling a little nauseous...
The turtle spills him out and he stumbles into the army of wooden warriors, proceed to whack every part of his body.
PO: Ow, those are hard! Ooh! I think I— [The last dummy whaps him in the crotch and everything become still.] Oooohoohoo... my tenders.
He struggles to get on his feet, takes one step and reaches out to a dummy arm...and immediately gets pummeled all over again. Po comes out the other side battered and bruised and find he is standing on the Field of Fiery Death.
PO: Uh oh.
We see reflections of fire on the Five and Shifu as well as Po's yells as he gets singed. After a while, he comes crawling into frame, dazed and charred, with the little tuft on his head on fire.
PO: [gasping for breath] So? How did we do?
SHIFU: There is now a Level Zero.
He puts out the little fire with his fingers
That night, the Five are walking to the bunkhouse, which sits high on a hill, led by a palace goose with a lantern.
MANTIS: There's no words.
CRANE: No denying that.
VIPER: I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. Those three are just going to get themselves killed!
TIGRESS: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu. [She walks ahead.]
CRANE: Yeah, or could at least touch their toes.
MONKEY: Or even see Their toes.
As the others walk off, laughing, Po and the imps emerge from behind rock, who unbeknownst to them has been walking behind them this whole time, hearing everything. Po attempts to look at his toes, but just sees gut. He lifts up his stomach, leans forward... leans... leans... and falls over. He gets up and watches them go inside. He sighs.
Inside, the Five blow out the candles in their rooms as Po peeks around the corner.
PO Okay.
They tip-toe into the hall. SQUEAK. The floorboards strain beneath them. SQUEAK.
PO: [whispering] Great.
They take gentle steps. Cre-e-e-a-a—CHUNK! Their feet go through the floor. Po tries to recover. SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK! THUNK! They roll their ankles and stumble through a bedroom door. They turn and find Crane staring back at him.
Moxxie: *laughs nervously* Oh, crumbs. My bad! I am so sorry. I- I didn't know you were still up sir
CRANE: Am now.
PO: I was just, uh... Some day, huh? That kung fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore?
Crane looks at his wing.
CRANE: Um... I've had a long and rather disappointing day, so uh...yeah, I should probably get to sleep now.
PO: Yeah yeah yeah, of course. [Turns to leave.]
CRANE: [Relieved] Okay, thanks.
PO: It's just... I'm such a big fan. [Turns back.]
CRANE: [Alarmed] Oop.
YOU ARE READING
Helluva boss: alternate continuation
FanfictionAfter their disastrous anniversary at Ozzie's, moxxie and Millie leave imp city convinced that it was all blitzo's fault quitting the company all together. But little did they know was that they would be taken to a place that would take them to diff...
To learn kung fu
Start from the beginning
