Moxxie: a titan totem! Right there!
Millie: we were just coming to find that, so if ya don't mind we'll just take it and-
Shifu chuckles coldly.
SHIFU: You think it's that easy? That I'm just going to hand you the secret to limitless power?
PO: No, I-
Shifu approaches the three
SHIFU: One must first master the highest level of kung fu. And that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
PO: Someone like us?
SHIFU: Yes. Look at you! This fat butt. [He hits Millie's butt with his staff, making her cry out.] Flabby arms! [He hits Mocxie's arm.]
Moxxie: refrain! Sir!
SHIFU: And this ridiculous belly! [Jabs Po's stomach.]
PO: Hey...
SHIFU: And all three of you's utter disregard for personal hygiene.
Moxxie: hey! Watch it! We are as hygienic as a babies bottom!
SHIFU: Don't stand so close, I can smell your breath.
PO: [Points at Shifu.] hey watch it pal, Oogway said that We were the—
Suddenly, Shifu grabs Po's outstretched finger and lifts his pinky. Po gasps in horror.
PO: The Wuxi Finger Hold! Not the Wuxi Finger Hold!
SHIFU: [slyly] Ohhh, you know this hold?
PO: [slurred together] Developed by Master Wuxi in the third dynasty. Yes!
SHIFU: Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky...
PO: [gasp] No no no!
SHIFU: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part... is cleaning up afterwards. [chuckles]
Moxxie: ooh, that went dark fast
SHIFU: Now listen closely, you three. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you, I promise you: all the of you are going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?
PO: Yeah. We're clear! We're clear! We are so clear.
Millie: [holding moxxie] crystal
Moxxie: yes sir. Very clear sir
SHIFU: Good. [chuckles] I can't wait to get started.
Shifu leads Po into the Training Hall, where the panda is struck speechless as he sees the Furious Five combating the various deadly stages of the course. Crane is deflecting arrows while balancing on half of a jade-colored turtle shell. Then Tigress leaps onto the shell and briefly spars with him. Meanwhile, Mantis weaves his way through an army of wooden crocodile warriors. Viper evades fire spurts on the Field of Fiery Death. Monkey swings across the seven-talon rings. Tigress dodges the swinging spiked clubs on spinning serpent logs, then smashes one with her bare fists. A piece of the club strikes Po on the head.
SHIFU: Let's begin.
Moxxie: Wait wait wait! What? [He stares at the fearsome course in front of him.] Now?
SHIFU: Yes, now. Unless you think that the great Oogway was wrong, and you are not the Dragon Warriors?...
PO: Oh, okay. Well... I don't know if I can do all of those moves...
SHIFU: Well, if we don't try, we'll never know, will we?
He begins walking along the side of the course. Po and the imps follow
YOU ARE READING
Helluva boss: alternate continuation
FanfictionAfter their disastrous anniversary at Ozzie's, moxxie and Millie leave imp city convinced that it was all blitzo's fault quitting the company all together. But little did they know was that they would be taken to a place that would take them to diff...
To learn kung fu
Start from the beginning
