𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐆𝐎𝐆𝐇 ** carl grimes

four

***

The day after my meltdown, I woke up feeling like shit. My head hurts, my face feels like it's on fire right now, and I have a terrible cough. Rick told me to distance myself from everyone and try to avoid interacting with the walkers. I have to suck it up and keep walking with everyone though.

"Aurora," Glenn says, showing me his water bottle and gesturing for me to have some.

"No, I'm fine," I deny.

"Take it, you're sick."

"That's exactly why I can't have it."

"We have other bottles, just take this, you need it."

I hesitantly take the bottle and drink what's left of the water in the bottle. Once I finish the water, I wipe off my saliva from the bottle just in case anyone needs it, but I just put it in my backpack. Daryl walks into the woods to find water and we keep walking without him. I start to cough again, which brings everyone's attention to me.

"You alright?" Rick asks.

"Y-yeah," I respond.

"Dad?" Carl says to get Rick's attention to what he's pointing to. Everyone turns their attention to Carl. Suddenly everyone stops walking, and I stop with them. There are jugs and bottles of clear water. There is a paper sitting on top of the water that says 'From a friend'. Everyone stares at the water in confusion. Everyone gets their weapons out in case this is a trap.

"What do we do?" I ask.

"Good question," Glenn responds.

We hear twigs snap and leaves crunching, and it's Daryl coming back from the woods. Rick hands him the paper. Daryl takes his crossbow off his back and holds it in front of him, becoming cautious.

"What else are we gonna do?" Tara asks.

"Not this. We don't know who left it," Rick answers.

"If that's a trap, we already happen to be in it. But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend," Eugene points out.

"What if it isn't? They put something in it?" Carol says. Eugene quickly steps to the water and picks one up then quickly attempts to drink it.

"What are you doing, dude?" Tara questions.

"Quality Assurance," Eugene tells her. When Eugene brings the bottle to his lips, Abraham smacks and bottle out of his hands, making the water spill everywhere.

"We can't," Rick tells him, Eugene looks at the water with a sad expression.

Suddenly, I feel water droplets fall onto my face. I look up at the sky and see it's raining. I smile at the feel of rain, which I haven't felt in a few months. I can hear giggles from the people around me and I start to laugh with them. When I look down I see everyone excited and happy. Carl catches my eye, and I see him opening his mouth for the rain then he looks down at me and we make eye contact. I quickly look back at the sky in embarrassment. I open my mouth to taste the fresh rain. This is the most relaxed and at peace, I've felt in a long time.

"Everybody, get the bags. Anything you can find," Rick tells us. I look back down and watch everyone pack up their stuff and fill up the water bottles. Thunder and lightning starts and Judith cries. "Let's keep moving!"

"There's a barn," Daryl tells Rick.

"Where?"

"Past the trees!"

***

The sun had set and the group had settled into the barn. Half of our group is sitting in front of a small fire that Daryl made, and the rest are sitting or laying down separately trying to sleep or at least relax. The thunderstorm has calmed down, but it still hasn't passed yet. I sit next to Glenn in front of the fire as he tries to poke at it. Rick looks at Carl and Judith laying next to him sleeping peacefully, which causes everyone else's attention to be turned to Carl.

"He's gonna be okay," Carol reassures Rick. "He bounces back, more than any of us do."

"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now, in this. But I think I got it wrong," Rick starts, looking around at everyone. "Growing up is getting used to the world, this is easier for them."

"This isn't the world. This isn't it," Michonne rejects.

"It might be," Glenn says, looking up at those who sit in front of him. "It might."

"That's giving up," Michonne responds.

"It's reality," Glenn tells her.

"Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with," Rick points out. A minute of silence fills the air again before rick speaks again. "When I was a kid- I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that stuff's grown-up stuff, so... so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet," Rick pauses again and I start to wonder where this story is going. "He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, 'Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war.' And then after a few years of pretending he was dead, he made it out alive," Rick's voice starts to get shaky, but he quickly evens it out. "That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do, and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves, that we are the walking dead," Rick finishes his speech, leaving everyone to think about it.

"We ain't them," Daryl speaks up for the first time since we got to the barn. Daryl sits up and breaks a twig to poke the fire with.

"We're not them. Hey, we're not," Rick tells him, and they look each other in the eye. Daryl gets up and looks at everyone then back at Rick again.

"We ain't them," Daryl repeats before grabbing his crossbow and walking away from the group over to the doors of the barn.

I look around the barn and then at Glenn. I give him a side hug and he squeezes back. I walk over to where Maggie is sleeping, pull out my sleeping back, and lay my back against the wall. I sigh and stare at the ceiling, leaving myself in my thoughts. I start to think of before the apocalypse, when I lost Glenn, my parents, finding Glenn, finding this group. My eyelids start to get heavy, so I decide to lie down, curling up into a ball in my sleeping bag.

***

I wake up to the sound of grunting and groaning. When I sit up, I see that everyone is holding the doors of the barn closed. I run over to them and start pushing on Abraham's back to help keep the doors shut. Everyone is struggling to keep the door shut. I move to where there is an open spot to push onto and now I can fully help keep the door from busting open. After a few minutes of pushing, the door slowly but surely gets lighter, and not as much weight is being put on the door. When I feel like it's enough to stop pushing, I step back with Carl and wait for the adults to handle the situation. I turn my head to Carl, who's already looking at me.

Eventually, the walkers are mostly gone and Daryl, Rick, Glenn, Abraham, Michonne, and Rosita kill the walkers that are left.

I walk back over to my sleeping back and don't end up going back to sleep for a few more hours.

***

word count: 1265