Final Fantasy VII: Lifestream - Book 3: Pursuit

TWENTY-SIX

"No..." I shivered.

Sephiroth swept his arm out toward the couple in the bed. "Look well at a future that may yet still happen, Jessie."

Tears spilled down my cheeks. "I don't believe you!"

"Oh, I think you do," he sneered. "You just haven't accepted it. But in time, Cloud will turn away from you, and you'll discover that you never knew him at all. You'll be alone, Jessie."

I shook my head again. "You're lying! He'd never do that!"

Sephiroth laughed. "Yes. He would."

"No..." I breathed.

"What awaits you is nothing but despair, Jessie," he went on. Then he twisted the knife. "And soon, you'll see firsthand the nightmare that your dreams became, the results of your carelessness and reckless disregard for the consequences of your actions. You'll see Corel."

I sank to my knees, sobbing. "It... it wasn't my fault..."

Sephiroth towered over me, his smile like ice. "Yes, it was. You know it. Just as you're responsible for all those who died when the reactors were destroyed. Shinra lit the match, but you provided the fuse."

"No..." I wept, but I knew it was true.

"You are a catalyst for destruction, Jessie," he laughed wickedly. "Far beyond anything you can possibly imagine. And very, very useful. Come and find us. We'll be waiting for you, she and I."

I knew who he meant. "Mother..."

It was as if I'd been watching someone else speaking through me. Just as it had happened on the road to Wall Market and in that nightmare I'd had at Fort Condor, I felt something dark and alien in my mind, pushing my own will aside and making me say and do what it wanted. What she wanted. Jenova. Consumed by guilt and pain, I couldn't fight her. And as I sat there crying in the dream, I realized those things had never left, not for a moment. The blame and hurt were still there.

Sephiroth didn't say anything else, and he didn't need to. He'd gotten what he wanted. I was utterly heartbroken, my tear-filled gaze locked on the couple sleeping in bed together. Cloud and Tifa. As the dream finally faded around me, guilt tore relentlessly at my heart, both for the deaths I knew I'd caused and for getting in the way of my friends' future. Jenova's presence lingered in my mind for a while longer, no longer compelling me but not leaving right away, either. Reminding me of the control Sephiroth had over me. And now, I understood why.

— — — — — — —

When I woke up, my eyes were wet. For a moment, I just laid there and gazed up at the ceiling, thinking about the dream and the doubts it had brought to the surface. Jenova's presence in my mind was gone, but I hadn't forgotten what it felt like or what they'd just done to me. It was tempting to dismiss the dream as just that, but I couldn't. There was no way, not after everything Cloud and I had been through. It had been as real as the ones where he'd seen me die in Midgar. As real as the one I'd had in Fort Condor where I'd murdered Aerith.

If I didn't find a way to forgive myself, to finally overcome the guilt and shame that had been eating away at me for so long it had become a part of me, Aerith would die. That was Sephiroth's way in, both his and Jenova's. The weakness Phoenix had told me about. Weakness of heart. Cloud wasn't the only one who needed to be made whole again. So did I. And if I couldn't find a way to make that happen, I'd never be able to stop myself from killing one of my closest friends.