THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 6: Loop Three, II

Word about your kiss spread among the 104th as Eren started spending more time around you than usual. Everybody assumed that you were dating. You guessed you could call it that. You weren't sure what to call your relationship. Sometimes he'd steal a kiss or two, and he'd follow you around everywhere and vice versa.

You never denied him because if it meant that Eren would listen to you, that was your best chance. It also didn't feel bad to be on the receiving end of his affection, even if he was rather awkward sometimes. It was cute and pure in the way first loves always were.

For days, you sat Eren down and patiently explained that not everybody wanted Eldians dead. But you watched and facilitated as he began to exercise his newly-discovered Titan powers, asking you for information you saw in your "vision," since you conveniently knew exactly how they worked.

Each day, Eren grew stronger, fueled by the idea of freedom. He spoke like you were the only person on earth, like he was about to gift you something incandescently beautiful. But you could see fear and guilt in his eyes. They didn't shine with hope anymore. They were hollow with dread.

Another reason why you didn't know if you were really dating or not: Eren was keeping secrets, and he could tell that you were too.

This again.

It hurt in an oddly comforting way. To know that it was possible for Eren to want to love you, but even if he did, his goals for you would be his top priority. The cold truth was like a bandaid getting ripped off your skin, painful but finished.

"You look unhappy," Eren pointed out once, while you were frowning at your food at dinner. It was just the two of you at a table, separating from your other classmates.

With a furtive look, you said, "You know why."

"We can't change the future. It's set in stone."

Your eyes glimmered. "It's not, Eren. Trust me. Every choice you make... anything can happen."

"It's just that... all these thoughts, these memories I have... it's like I'm living so many lives at once and I can't tell which life is the real one. It's like these memories belong to me even though I've never lived them before."

"That's the power of the Attack Titan," you said, but something in his words unnerved you.

Eren didn't looked convinced. He spooned some of his rations and held it to your mouth. "Eat. It'll make you feel better."

You reluctantly opened your mouth and let Eren spoon-feed you. You heard giggles coming from your classmates, mostly the girls, seeing Eren, who was so brash and rough, doing something so boyfriend-like and romantic for you at dinner.

"So cute!" they squealed. Entertainment was hard to find in a military camp, and apparently watching you and Eren dance around each other was definitely entertaining. It had been obvious to them that Eren had feelings for you. It completely went over your head. Anyway, it was easier to excuse your constant attachment to Eren's side if you brushed it off as dating.

Something inside you was uncomfortable, like it pained you that Eren's gestures weren't real.

That was ridiculous.

You grabbed Eren's hand and held it, just to see if he'd react. He didn't blush and stutter anymore, but he looked pleased that you were openly touching him. Like you were proud of saying, This is my boy. He could be planning to burn the world down and I'd still hold his hand.

"You had one. Fucking. Job, [Surname]."

Jean slammed his hands on the table, causing yours and Eren's intertwined hands to thump. Eren's grip tightened as though afraid you'd let go.