thanatophobia
[ than-uh-tuh-foh-bee-uh ]
noun.
an irrational or disproportionate fear of death, especially one's own.
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Lela must survive with no memory of the past.
And no hope for the future.
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When Lela got back to Homestead after fleeing the confrontation of confessing her feelings, she almost instantly fell asleep.
Her thoughts about Thomas, Alby and Minho were now replaced with the scene from the Deadheads playing over and over in her head.
Lela imagined what it would be like if she had said things differently, or not said them at all. How the different scenarios would've played out if she didn't open up so much, or if newt hadn't even came with her.
Somehow, she didn't regret it. Although she embarrassed herself by running away, at least she knew how newt felt. Lela didn't feel bad about having the same feelings anymore now that he admitted to reciprocating them.
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Barely anyone in the Glade could sleep that night. Once again, the noises of the Maze changing kept them all awake.
And so, everyone was up early, gathered around the entrance, waiting anxiously for the others to emerge. If they had survived, that was.
Lela stood with chuck, trying her best to avoid Newt after their conversation. It's not that she didn't want to see him, but rather that she didn't want to face the embarrassment.
"I told you, Chuck." Gally spoke after minutes of silence. "They're not coming back. Let's go."
He went to drag the boy away, but Lela held him in place, trying her best to show hope.
![THANATOPHOBIA - newt [1]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/323648163-64-k896122.jpg)