"But wait," Jungkook spoke and stopped, resulting in me doing a jerk as he didn't move with my pull, "Didn't you just say you had low blood sugar and now you want to dance?"
His reasonableness annoyed me. Yes I was still having a massive headache, sadly not because of a simple low blood sugar, but I knew I'd regret it if the rain had stopped by tomorrow and I wouldn't have done this.
"Fuck that." I said eagerly with a smile reaching both my ears as I tugged at Jungkook's arm again. But he resisted, again.
We stood under a little pent roof outside of the door to the studio. Jungkook looked at me with worried eyes - this time maybe because I looked crazy to him.
I puffed out my lower lip and blinked my eyes, begging him with facial expressions to just do it with me and have fun.
"Ahh, come on Jungkook! Don't you want to?" I grunted in frustration as he was rock solid and annoyingly stubborn.
"Why do you want to?" He answered with a question.
I sighed deeply, my eyes finding the ground before finding his eyes again, "Because you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." I said.
Jungkook's response was once again silence.
"I don't know about you, I can only speak for myself, but I want to live and while I'm at it, I want to do it right."
A brief silence fell over us, the rain pouring down only centimeters behind me being the only sound.
Jungkook pulled down his hood, ruffling his hair, "That's deep."
"I know, I quoted it from one of the sketches in the tattoo shop." I bragged proudly.
Jungkook tittered, cocking his head at me again, "You're crazy."
"I'm not, you're just boring." I replied quick-witted successfully pushing his buttons.
He hated to be called boring.
"Fine," Jungkook sighed, throwing his head back and running his hands through his hair, "let's do it then." He announced.
It didn't take me long to turn around and almost run out into the rain, feeling the raindrops fall on my skin.
Jungkook joined me, running out to me and copying my acts as I looked up at the sky and opened my mouth, trying to catch the raindrops with my tongue.
When I looked down, Jungkook did too. Jungkook's smile and stifled laugh came as a surprise to himself, but as I replied with a smile and started laughing in euphoria of the feeling too, he let loose.
I took off my jacket, throwing it over to the door of the studio and under the pent roof, so it wouldn't get drenched and so I could feel the rain on my bare skin.
"You won't get cold?" Jungkook almost had to shout to mute the rain. I shook my head.
We didn't exactly dance, but just went around with spread arms, feeling the rain fall on us. I jumped on Jungkook's back once and he spun around with me, which resulted in both of us getting dizzy.
After a while, I glanced over at Jungkook as he stood still, his hoodie entirely drenched and eyes locked on me.
For a short moment it felt magical.
The raindrops fell drowsily, the sound having a soothing effect and the scent making it all feel real. Our eyes locked, my movements stopped as they did and Jungkook stood still as if he was lost in thoughts.
"It's not as enchanting as I had imagined." I admitted, my shoulders falling down and Jungkook's too.
"Oh I'm so glad you said that." Jungkook almost said with relief, walking sloppily towards me, "You know, I was starting to get worried that you really did go crazy."
"Oh shut up." I scoffed, but we both started laughing at the stupid situation we were in.
What did I expect anyway? Birds to chirp, the rain to silence everything out and a rainbow to cross the sky?
Did I really expect for it to be like in the books and movies?
In reality it was cold and my clothes got heavy. It was fun for a while, but then that while was over.
At that we laughed for a few minutes, before I started coughing suddenly.
I didn't choke on spit and I didn't feel out of breath either. The cough was random, but didn't stop right away.
Jungkook went to pat my back, trying to help as much as he could as I kept coughing. Every jerk my body made from a cough, I felt a pinching pain strike through my head.
I vividly remember thinking that I could just die right then and it'd all be over.
If I died on the spot then, I wouldn't have to wait for my death for any longer. I wouldn't have to live with the symptoms. I wouldn't have to live with the guilty feeling of hiding it from my friends anymore and I wouldn't have to look my parents in the eyes once again knowing I'd leave them as their only child.
But I quickly slapped myself mentally for even thinking that. It simply was a selfish and stupid thought. I was lucky to have days left still. I was lucky to even know when I was gonna die, wasn't I?
People die in car crashes, shootings and other sudden, horrible things. They walk out of bed in the morning, thinking they have a whole life ahead of them to do the things they have yet to do. I at least knew I had to do them now.
I stopped coughing, my body slightly trembling instead as the coldness and wetness got to me.
"Are you okay?" Jungkook questioned, rubbing my arms trying to create a warmth as he noticed my trembling.
"I told you you'd get cold." He almost boasted as he was right.
If carpenters weren't banging against the walls inside my head, I would've punched him right in the face. Instead I just stayed quiet and gulped down the frustration.
"Let's go home." He said with care in his voice, walking to the studio's door, still rubbing my arms.
He picked up my jacket and locked the door before we both made our way to his car.
Bloody stupid cancer.
If it wasn't for my illness, we'd probably be heading back to the car laughing right now. I wouldn't be freezing or hurting. Jungkook wouldn't hold me as if I was fragile. Maybe dancing in the rain would've even felt magical if my lungs weren't fucking weak. It'd all just be easier if it wasn't for my illness. Everything would've been normal.
But right in this moment, nothing was.
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AN:
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I try to update every day, but sometimes I forget as no one interacts with my story ㅠㅠ
