Being With Her Is All I Ask

Chapter V

I am terrified about moving away but it's the best decision. It will give me time to accept certain things, time to heal and time to move on completely. All I ever wanted was to be with her but that just seems impossible. I have to move on with my life and accept facts.

Counting down two weeks just before me and Tash both fly off to the US. In tutorial I decided to tell everyone about my early departure to the US in May. "Miss Williams, I have something to say or announce if that's what you call it." I stood in front of my class and felt very emotional looking out to not just people but a family I have been a part of. "Guys, first of all I want to say thank you, I feel so blessed to be a part of this family we've got here. Some of you I have known for two years, most since year seven and a few since we were five years old." I looked at Kath and Gemma who had no idea about what I was about to say. "I don't consider anyone in here just a friend, everyone here to me is family and once you are a part of this thing we have so special you'll always be a part of it even when we all go off and do our own thing and have families of our own."

Miss Williams didn't know where I was heading with it but I could see the tears in her eyes. "Well, we all know we are all going to part, and the reason I keep talking is because I don't want this to end, but let's face reality we are all going to leave and go University or work. It's just I'm leaving in the first week of May, so I'm basically leaving early." Everyone was shocked a handful of people including Kath and Gemma started to cry. I was trying so hard not to cry but a few tears rolled down my cheeks. "I was offered a scholarship in America to the University Of Notre Dame to do Digital Film Production and Events Management. They want me on their football team or soccer as they call it and I accepted. It's a huge opportunity." Miss Williams stood up and gave me the tightest hug "Congratulations Frankie, you really did it kid, you make me so proud." Everyone got up and congratulated me and asked me never to forget them except Kath and Gemma.

After school they completely ignored me, I was hurt, they were my best friend's and I thought out of everyone they would understand. When I got home the so called family had dinner together. Angel didn't say a word, no one did. "Can I ask something, why is everyone so worked up about me leaving?" Dad just looked at me and walked to his room and Angel got up to follow him. Teresa looked at me and sighed "Frankie, don't take it personally" I didn't quite understand and I didn't really want to hear what she had to say, she's not my mother, but out of respect I sat there. "How am I supposed to not take it personally?" She moved to a chair next to me "Frankie, first of all, it's not you, it's them. You're your dad's precious gem." I chuckled "Not since you came, and no I'm not jealous, but he didn't think of me as his gem when he hooked up with you now did he?" She looked a bit hurt from what I said but she carried on. "It has been you and him against the world, he's used to having you around, you will always be his baby and as a parent it is hard to accept that your child is growing up so fast and that they can and is making their own big decisions. Kath and Gemma called before you got home they talked to Angel." I was shocked Kath and Gemma calling for Angel. "They were very upset." I was a bit upset when she knew how my own friends felt but I didn't. "Well it doesn't seem like they care they've ignored me all day." Teresa sighed yet again "Frankie, like I said it's not you, it's them, your dad is finding it difficult to let go and as for Angel, Kath and Gemma, well they are very upset you may not see that, but they are, they probably are ignoring you because it is easier to ignore you than to say goodbye. Just give that a thought." She got up and left to go see my dad and Angel. I sat at the dinner table and thought to myself, I can't please everyone; this is one thing I have to do for me. As selfish as it sounds, I have to do this for myself; otherwise I won't be able to cope.

After the great 2 weeks with Tash, we managed to go sightseeing, visit Notre Dame and even go to watch the live taping of the Ellen DeGeneres show and the Big Bang theory. Instead of going straight home from the airport I decided to crash at Tash's place. As we were lying down on her bed, tired from the journey I decided we really needed to talk. "Tash, I really had a great time with you, but don't you think we should talk about, you know 'it' now" She looked at me as if she really wanted not to but she rolled herself around to lay on top of my stomach. "Look, I am not stupid Frankie, I know, we can't be together when you leave, I also know that you are still in love with Angel, I'm fine with that because you gave me a chance to be happy and be with you. You don't have to worry. Obviously it will hurt but it will pass. So let's just enjoy the moment." I couldn't help but smile and I did exactly what she asked, enjoy the moment.

The next day I called everyone, Angel, Dad, Teresa, Kath and Gemma to go to a Chinese buffet. As they all sat there in silence, "Thanks for coming, all of you. Don't worry it's my treat. Listen before we start stuffing our face I have something to say and give to each and one of you." They all looked as if they didn't want to hear it but they needed to. "Kath and Gemma, you two, you've been my sisters from day one. I love you guys; you are my ride or die. This is part of growing up, doing things different. I know you may be hurt, believe it or not I am too but it's a great opportunity for me. Just because I'm moving away it doesn't mean you won't be my friends anymore. No matter what you guys have become my bloodline. We are like Ed, Edd and Eddie." They both laughed. "So let's just enjoy the moment." They both got up and gave me a big tight hug.

I turned my attention to Teresa this time. "Teresa, you have, undoubtedly changed my life" I chuckled. "I'm still not sure whether it's good or bad but thank you. You gave birth to a beautiful girl I fell in love with and now you are a beautiful woman who has given my dad the chance to fall in love all over again." At this point tears were rolling down her face. "I know I always snap at you but this year has been one for the books. It has been crazy. Almost like the film 'Crazy, Stupid Love'. Just look after the pair of them for me." I smiled and she took my hand and smiled right back at me, no words, just that warm smile.

At this point I didn't know who to talk to next but I turned towards my Dad."Dad, well where do I begin? Before anyone else on this table, it has always been just you and me, just us against the world. I wouldn't be the person I am now if it weren't for you. I never got to meet my mum but I know she'd be so proud of the both of us. I still remember the day I started crying in nursery because everyone had their mums and I didn't and you came in dressed as a girl." Everyone chuckled, my dad had tears in his eyes but still managed to laugh. "Hey bud, I don't recall that!" I shook my head "Dad lets not go there okay, anyways, you've been my rock, I couldn't ask for a better dad. You aren't just my dad, you're my best friend, there isn't enough words to show how much I love you and how thankful I am for everything you have done. I know you're scared about it all, but this is part of the whole experience, of us both letting go and learning throughout. I'm scared to, but if we both don't try anything new, we will never learn." He nodded and gave me the tightest of hugs. Everyone at this point turns to Angel. "Everyone, start eating, Angel could you come with me outside?" She looked at everyone then back to me and simply said "sure". We sat on a bench 5 mins away from the restaurant. I held her hand and looked her dead straight in the eyes. She found it hard to look back at me but she did."Angel, you changed everything around here, including me, it has been quite a year hasn't it?" she looked down "Yeah, it has, absolutely mad." My heart was beating so fast, it was like all the feelings and emotions has resurfaced. "I'm going to be honest, it feels much easier to just go away and leave and not see you, than stay here and not be able to be with you, that's the only thing I ever wanted. I'm not afraid to tell you this but Angel I love you, I probably always will. You were a game changer. Its just unfortunate that you turned out to be the girl next door on the wrong side of the tracks." We kissed and tears ran down both of our cheeks. I held her so tight in my arms. After we dried our tears we went back to the rest and enjoyed a nice meal talking about the ups and downs of the year.

A few weeks later, I find myself in my room which was quite empty considering I packed a lot of things. I sat on my bed and started to feel emotional, Angel walked in, sat next to me, held my hand and rested her head on my shoulder. "Frankie, take care of yourself okay?" I smiled "Of course I will, I don't have you guys to clean and cook for me anymore!" She laughed and playfully hit my arm and so we started wrestling. I ended up on top of her. We almost kissed but the doorbell rang. Me and Angel raced each other to the door. When we opened it, it was Gemma and Kath, who both tackled me to the floor. We were having an all nighter slumber party as they wouldn't let me sleep and insisted that I should sleep on the plane. My dad and Teresa joined in, we played board games, ate lots of junk food, wrestled, talked about a lot of things.

To be fair I wasn't even sleepy. I had all these mixed emotions that all came to me at once. We all got ready, everyone was all quiet, even the journey to the airport was slightly awkward. It was time for me to check-in. I hugged everyone tightly "Look after yourselves and of each other. I love you and I'm gonna miss you all so much." I held back the tears but as soon as I passed the check-in section tears started to stream down my face, yes, of course I was excited but I was scared. I didn't know what to expect at all. I had no idea how I'd cope without my dad. I had to be the different one as usual, normal kids would have gone to a uni in London or England at least, me on the other hand had to fly abroad. I'm about to embark on a new journey and I don't know where it's gonna lead or whether I'll ever see Angel again.