Distractions

Shadow and Ladybug: Part 1

Once there was a girl in black.
I called her Shadow.

With black hair, black eyes
And laced combat boots.
Black dresses always
That fit her torso well
And her hips loosely,
Covered her arms and to mid-thigh.
A black bow to pair.

She read to me in the library
During nap time
Though the smart little girl I was
Could read all by herself,
And in kindergarten.
She insisted and I never refused,
She read books with a passion
And excitement.
Her dark eyes lit up with mine.

The little girl in black.

Who braided my hair
When I sat alone on the play ground
I wanted her company,
First grade was lonely.
None of the girls were concerned
With pigtails and braids
Or tutu's under church clothes.
I needed no one else.

Second grade was boys.
And girls flirting with boys.
The Honor Roll dance was, Uncomfortable.
Girls grabbing boys hands,
And sharing fruit snacks.

I tried to fit in
And asked a little boy,
All alone and afraid,
To dance.
But the little girl in black
Pulled me away.
"You're mine.
Let's dance."

I guess she saved me,
From becoming the girls
That call me Gay in the hallways.

I had a real friend
That my mom could meet
And see.
But the bullying became to much,
I lost her too.
A fear of losing
Forever engraved in you.
At third grade.

Shadow told me to be very careful
And keep all the mean people away.
"I can't do this on my own."
We pushed them all away.
The little boy
Who wrote me love letters,
The quiet little girl
With thick framed glasses.
The year of a single, lasting friend.