Rush |Andy Biersack AU|

31

HARPER

It was harder to sleep that night. I was unsure of sleeping in Andy's bed again so I slept in my own room. Gladiator stayed locked out of my room purring and occasionally meowing at me to let her in. That night, I got no sleep. Instead I asked Maddi for a small tab of acid to take while Andy was at work and I stayed up all night tripping. Maddi was satisfied that I was getting back to popping shit with her like we did junior year. It was something that kept me sane all these years...

I was laying in bed just seeing shit with all the lights of and glow sticks and rave gloves on, the ones Andy bought for some some reason. I just knew I was tripping till sunrise and Andy was going to be home soon. He would be so disappointed in me if he found out about this too. Within the past few hours u managed to clean up the apartment making sure no evidence of drugs was present. The only thing on me was 3 more tabs in my back pocket in a baggy.

By 6:30 Andy was heading home and I was watching TV by myself in the recliner an I had spaced out, going into my mumbling stage of this drug. Making no sense as I stare out of space and mumbled useless bullcrap to myself. I stayed like that for an hour until the front door started to open. Andy must've been home but I knew it wasn't him when a black haired man gripped me by my shoulders shaking me till I snapped out of it.

"Harper?" It was a familiar voice but I was to jacked up to understand who this person was shaking me. His eyes browned and his hair slicked back with a cigarette behind his greasy long hair. Pale and handsome he was but suddenly, he vanished.

Snapping out of it instantly, I jumped up from the recliner suddenly scared. That wasn't even real, this is all in my head. I knew this was my schizophrenia just bugging me, something I didn't learn to control during my stay. Panicking now, I stood up and quickly paced around the room.

"Andy." I checked my phone in worry 7:30, he should be home soon. "C'mon babe... Get home." Texting him over and over he never read anything or replied and I started to worry. He must've been really pissed about the whole weed thing. I hope he wasn't with Tony right now, telling him I need more help.

When it was 8am, I decided to grab a coat and go looking for Andy. Maybe he was at the facility, I was going to go there I just had to walk through the woods as a quicker way to get there. I knew there was a pond near there that I can cross over with the bridge. Just being careful was my problem.

Walking out to the May air, inhaling the smell of rain I headed for the forest near the apartments with an umbrella. The tall trees surrounding me made everything feel so alive. The green leaves and the summer flowers growing slowly through out the ground was pretty eye catching. I felt like I was in wonder land, after all I was still tripping on my comedown of the drug. When I made it halfway I took a break.

Sitting on a large rock near the cliff of a valley sort of area I rested. Listening to nature and watching birds fly into their nests above. It was paradise. When the birds chirping died down I noticed a faint humming noise that no bird could make. The humming was familiar and I listened closely, following where the sound came from. Stepping over branches carefully as I went. When the humming was loud enough to hear I could spot someone a bit behind a tree that was right next to the pond. The deep humming sounded so much like Andy and when I crept up closer I realized...that was Andy!

Still in his work clothes everything just sitting under a tree next to the pond, his headphones in humming. His eyes were unseen as for his hair was hanging in his face. He couldn't see me but I was near him, behind him just watching from the trees.

I had to see what the hell he was up to but I didn't wanna come off rude. Trying to not sneak up behind him to quietly I got close enough to pull on of his headphones out. He stopped humming, opening his eyes as I reached forward closer to his face, kissing his cheek and moving his hair out of his face. His eyes diverted to me and he sat up from his slouched position, pulling out his other ear bud. I sat down next to him and smiling a little.

"Babe-" he started.

"I'm sorry. For not telling you and keeping this from you." I don't dare look up from my lap to look into his broken blue eyes. He looked so upset I thought he might cry. "I just wanna know why you're distancing yourself from me." I beg.

"Harper my past contains a lot of drugs in it and I just have so many bad memories from them I just didn't wanna watch that unfold in front of my eyes again with you. But I couldn't keep away myself. I would have to go throughout entire life story with you before you could understand any of it." he sniffles, his eyes dark red and puffy.

"What are we waiting for? The day is new, I've got time for it." I shrug, looking at the sun just finish rising and I smiled at him, trying to hide the tripping side of me to listen.

He sighs. "It started when I was in middle school...i was that weird kid everyone hated for some reason. I never did anything wrong. Just a 8th grader playing guitar and listening to trashy pink bands from the radio. I was harmless and I don't see what threat the students got from me. It bugged me to be alone and soon enough my family started falling apart. I fell in life, I got to high school and gave up freshman year. I met these guys who did drugs a lot in school. Lines of coke in the back of the class, weed at the baseball field, morphine on the bus...even acid of the weekends. I just started getting together with the wrong people. Wanna know why? Because the wrong people are the ones who will accept anyone for who they are. Before I knew it, sophomore year I was smoking weed, popping molly, taking acid and god knows what else till I couldn't understand my own name anymore. My parents found out, disappointed as ever and shamming me as their son. Sent to rehab two weeks after being caught and I came out in senior year as clean as ever and I was to never touch a drug since. It just hurt watching some of my best friends die on that stuff and to watch them be hospitalized because they went insane taking to much morphine or panicking over heroin. It just sucked because I was always the one to never get caught doing it. And I just don't wanna see you hurt or arrested from doing this. Every time some one brings up drugs I just get really defensive and angry. I don't wanna end up lashing out on you. You just have no idea how scarred I am from all of this." just one tear, just one single tear managed to slip down his cheek and he sniffled, trying to not look weak. I felt a pressure in my chest, that feeling of fear and stress washed over me.

"Then why did you leave with my weed the other night?" I asked suddenly worried knowing how easy it was to re-

"I relapsed"