My Last Days of Silence | J.JK

07: Overcome my fear

I reached for my phone to look at the message. It was from Jungkook. I glanced at the clock, furrowing my brows as it told 9 am. Why was Jungkook awake this early in the morning when he didn't have lessons before the evening?

Kookie🫦💩: So, when can I come?

Me: You're up already?

Kookie🫦💩: No, I'm sleeping.

Kookie🫦💩: I was at the gym, why are you up already?

"Y/n when are you gonna tell him?" My mother's voice sounded and I directed my attention to her.

The smile that had subconsciously caressed my lips as I was busy with texting Jungkook, immediately disappeared, a look of wonder showing on my face.

Why would she ask me that now

Why ruin my mood when I'm trying to stay positive

"I already said I'm not going to." I spoke through gritted teeth, trying not to snarl too much at my mother. 

But the topic just infuriated me. I knew I was wrong, but I wouldn't admit it. 

"So what, he'll just wake up one day and you'll be gone?" Her voice came out calm and stable. 

"Mom just stop it!" I raised my voice unintentionally, my emotions taking over. I looked up from my hands, fiddling with the bed sheets, only to see the tears in my mother's eyes. She wouldn't let them fall. 

And here I was, heated face and letting my frustration over myself out on her.

She was only trying to guide me. She was trying to be strong for me. But it only turned out to hurt more.

"I'm sorry Y/n, but don't you think it's unfair to him?" She kept pushing, despite my reaction.

I sighed, letting my shoulders fall and my gaze lower to my hands fiddling with the sheets again. I didn't say anymore.

"...don't you think it's unfair to him?"

It was, wasn't it?

Was I being too selfish?

But shouldn't I be allowed to be just a little selfish about my last days on earth?

I pulled out my phone again to answer Jungkook's message.

Me: Class.

I lied.

It wasn't more than a minute before his reply chimed in.

Kookie🫦💩: Took you a while to type in 5 letters LOL

Kookie🫦💩: Pick you up at 12?

Me: 🖕

Me: Yeah, bring snacks

I tried not to look down too much, but even looking straight forward made my skin prickle and my stomach upset.