but inside we're safe -
the driver-uncle tufts
of hair swirling out his ears
reassures us of the world
~ "second shade" by ajay kumar
because i can't accept myself
i reject everything else.
watch livestreams of funerals
to learn to mourn instead of whine.
to remember that the first fossil
of humanity lived around death.
few days ago my father showed me a photo
and asked, do you remember who this is?
the name dangled from my eyelashes before
diving into my dry mouth.
he's dead, he said.
my first memory is dead.
my death is the only memory
i can't have all to myself.
i forgot him but i didn't forget
the poem i wrote around him.
i'll write poems around me
and feign immortality.
because my words are an updating epitaph
because my grave is the time
my sarcophagus of space digs up
until i reject myself and accept
everything else.
~ ajay
7/10/2022
