Glass Arrow

Chapter 19

BACK TO LILITH POV

        He opened his mouth before closing it, his brows pulling together pained, but I simply took his hand off my shoulder, the second falling on its own. "Th-that's not-"

         "It is, I'm tired, Dyeth, you want to know where the scars are from? The Academy. A place made for people to get stronger, they aren't anything special. I'm simply forced to work day and night at a school I did not choose six days a week if I'm lucky. Yet, that seventh day, the day people like you, strong people, get to rest, I get to do recovery classes. Or work like a dog for a group of magi that think of me as if I was hardly a person. I can't keep up. But I have to. Of course I have to, I'm the first war class to be born in my house for decades. So, I do,

        "It's not special, it's nothing of the like. You do it, everyone there does it. I just have to risk my life to do it. You know how it is, right? Hardly a life if you're not the best. I'm not exactly a person to them. They see me as a thing, one they can't get rid of. And it's difficult, it's terrifying. This is what it's like to train before war? I can't imagine going to battle. I can't imagine how hard it will be. Dyeth, I'm fighting every day, and it's terrifying, I know I won't be able to keep it up, I'm falling apart at the seams. Is that what you want me to say?"

         "I'm terrified because I know I won't be able to fight forever. Dyeth, I'm not holding myself together, I'm tired. Will I keep going? Sure, yeah, today I can. But what about tomorrow? Huh? What about the day after?" I sighed, my eyes heavy and chest feeling especially hollow. I couldn't even cry.

       "... I love you," Looking at those soft and sad mismatched eyes of his I left his hand brush my cheek as he gave a smile just as sad as his gaze.

        "What a time to say it," I didn't lean away from his hand nor lean into it, just let it rest there.

         "I felt like I needed to say it," He laughed lightly, taking my hand in his, a sigh leaving my mouth as I pulled my face away at that, his hand hovering for a second but dropping, his other still lingering around mine.

        "I don't doubt that. Nor do I doubt those feelings, I am everything you wish you could be." He hummed, taking a piece of my white curls and twirling it between his black claws.

         "... I definitely wouldn't be able to state with such confidence my biggest fear yet hearing you say that really truly reminded me, so, I suppose, you are right. I don't think why matters though." Narrowing my eyes, this was not the boy that stared at me with a dead gaze, asking for a marriage he didn't want. This was a boy who had been through a rough life that found something, someone, he was comfortable with. Someone he loved. "Don't make that face, as tired as you are, I am too, we've had a long day, don't make it longer," He warned sharply, the soft tone of his voice shifting back to the one I knew.

        I had to agree, as much as I wanted him to unsuppress those emotions I was equally interested in him turning those emotions to anyone but me, however, today was a long day. "... Why matters, at least, to me," I said, pulling his hand away from my mouth without resistance. "I'm going back to my tent," I stated, finally pulling my hand from his and stepping around him. "Follow, don't, I don't care." The sound of his feet following after me finding my ears the moment the words left my mouth.

         Sighing, I wrapped my arms around my waist and shook my head. It wouldn't last. It was a childish infatuation. Puppy love. He'll get over it... But, well, for now... For now, it's... Fine.