Starving

Chapter One "I'm Fat"

My name is Alex, I live a boring repetitive life, every day is the same thing over and over again.

Get on the scale, do homework, hope I don't eat, and fucking sleep.

I used to live the "good" life, if you call being a rebellious 17 year-old the good life.

People always call me mean, selfish, self-centered, and sensitive. I guess you can say all that's true, but what gives you the right to judge me? You're probably not fucking perfect yourself.

Let's get straight to the point, I have an eating disorder. It's my life, my personality trait, and my literal everything.

Can you believe I have a fucking journal dedicated to this shit, I mean it's mental, but I happen to find mental hot.

I hear sudden footsteps and quickly hide my journal under my pillow and pull out the most boring book known to man, Titanic.

Like seriously who made the book Titanic, it's literal ass. Wait, wasn't this shit based on a true story?

"Alex."

"..Yes, ma'am?"

"Checks."

She slowly looks around the room, then looks at me and slams the door so fucking loud, I swear people in a whole ass other country would've heard her.

God, I hate that fucking nurse, she does checks every five fucking minutes just to piss us off, I swear.

Her name's Greta, and she hates almost every girl in here for no apparent reason.

The other day, one of the girls just couldn't bring herself to eat, I mean, she was having a literal mental breakdown about it.

Greta happened to be the one on-clock for dinner that night.

Usually, most of the nurses here try to encourage us to eat, but this bitch started shoving the food down the poor girl's throat yelling, "Eating this will only make you feel better!"

I was so terrified, I ate half of my meal no problem, I guess her tactic worked.

By the way, I'm in mental hospital right now. Luckily, I got to have my own room since it's somewhat of a private facility or some shit.

It's incredible how they managed to build a hospital this extravagant, in this shit town.

The last time one of these got built, one of the girls in the hospital got her boyfriend to break her out, which he did.

Oh, but he didn't just stop there, he brought along his buddies too, and they stole half of the expensive shit in there and sold it on eBay.

It was something about them wanting to move to Ohio and they needed money for it, I don't really fucking remember.

You're probably wondering how I got here right?

I'm guessing you are, so I'll tell you anyways.

Well, my mom sent me here 2 months ago after I started crying about weighing 95 pounds and not 90.

She also happened to find my Tumblr, Pinterest, and thinsp0 stash.

God she's such a fucking stalker.

There's no way she would have found it that easy, she's been watching me or some shit.

She needs to mind her damn business, it's not like she ever cared about me before.

We're always arguing about dumb shit, so we don't ever get along. I hate her and I'm positive about her hating me.

She didn't care about my weight until I started losing weight, she thinks she's a fucking expert on weight loss now.