𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑏𝑜𝑦 (𝑆𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑇𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑓𝑓) [COMPLETED]

→ It was close.......

He said and she smiled but then sighed,"when I am going to see him smile with his heart?"

Sarawat closed the door of his room and walked to his table, placed the small box on the table before going to open the window to let cool breeze into his room. It was getting dark so he turned on the table light and sat on the chair staring at the table.

It was a wooden box,it seemed old but not dusty. It must be his mother who cleaned it,he thought as he opened the box.

He frowned when he saw many pictures inside the box.

On the top was a small picture of two little kids looking the same in same kind of clothes.

"Why does it look similar?"Sarawat looked closer as he let his finger touch the photo and he noticed something written written in small characters under the photo.

"Kavin & Tine......."Sarawat's eyes widened as the realisation hit and he suddenly took all the photos outside the box and it scattered all over the table.

Sarawat felt his head hurting when he stared at most of the photos that showed little Kavin and Tine with their father and mother, sometimes just two of them playing and fighting. In some pictures there were colour pens used to draw on both of theirs faces and write funny comments.

Sarawat smiled sadly as he took one picture where there was something written by Kavin or Tine, 'Kavin&Tine  foreverrr"

Suddenly he couldn't find anymore photos of them all together, it was just one boy with doe eyes alone in the rest of the pictures. His smile not so happy as in the rest of the pictures, pictures showed him growing up and his smile lighting up little by little as he did, but what made his hand tremble was that the face in the pictures became more and more familiar to someone he knew.

Sarawat started frantically searching through the photos,in result tossing the box aside and his gaze fell on a neatly folded paper that fell out of the box.

He hurriedly grabbed it and under the  table light he unfolded the letter, something fell off but he was more fixed on the handwriting on the paper.

It was untidy and messy, but he could still recognise it as his father's handwriting. It used to be so neat and attractive when his father was still young, he assumed it to be written only recently.

He began reading with tears in his eyes,

'Dear Son, Sarawat,

Today you left me, for the first time in this life you've looked at me with only disappointment and hate.....it hurts,but I'm sure I've hurt you more.

I do realise that I'm a selfish man. And probably by the time you'll receive this letter I'll be gone to a faraway place. Other than your mother and doctor nobody knew about my heart disease.

I was a selfish man who was really invested in building a happy rich family where my children and wife will live with the best of all they could have. I guess in the journey of trying to gather everything for you I've forgot who I really was. But don't blame it on you, I've did it by my own will. All I wanted was you to live the best life unlike I did.

Even after Kavin was dead and I've got the wealth I was always working hard for, I didn't understood how much of a sin have I committed. Until the accident happened. Until I saw the nearly end of my family. Even if I got you all back alive, you've lost your sight. Only then could I imagine how much of a disaster have I caused. I destroyed a family. And then everytime I looked at my eyes I could sometimes see blood all over them, it was so painful.

When I heard you were with Tine, I was so scared, not that he'll learn the truth and will kill me.......but that he'll reveal the truth and make my family hate me, that he'll take you away from us. That.....that look on your face when I told you the truth, that was what I was scared of all along in my life.

Me as a father or as a person I know that none of this will explain to what I did. But I've realised that even if I was aiming to build a happy life for you all, I was unknowingly destroying your life. I don't know if this will change anything, I don't know if this will make up to anything I've did, but I'm going to give back the papers that I once earned from Mr.Teepakorn by cheating.

I sent away Tine....... I've did wrong. I'm no longer in a situation to search for him and bring him back to you. My body is growing weaker day by day, I don't know if you have noticed. My heart's condition is getting worse and honestly I don't care because it's better for me to leave first than leave after seeing how much my wife and other son will look at me with disgust after you'll tell them the truth.

Here I'm leaving a picture of Tine that I once found in a book of yours, there was alot but one day I couldn't find any after I send him away. I've found this box in his grandmother's house, I've once went there to search for him after your surgery. I couldn't find anybody or anything else but this box in a corner.

P.s : I hope you'll find him and even if he learn the truth I hope he'll realise that you're nothing like your cruel father and will make you happy.

-From your father'

A tear fell on the paper causing the ink on the part to spread as he looked down on the floor to find what fell off.

His eyes widened when he saw the picture on the floor. Kneeling on the floor as he picked up the picture with trembling hands.

"W-win?"More tears found it's way to his eyes as he couldn't control whatever he was feeling.

The one he was looking for was always by his side, he was seeing the one whom he was yearning to see and he never knew. He was waiting for that one person who was always right in front of him.

The person he was afraid that he was starting to fall for was exactly the one whom he fell in love with first. And he let it happen again. Before he couldn't see when he run away, but this time he let him run away from his sight.......

But it was only Sarawat who couldn't see, Tine would've known all along and then why did he had to lie?

That he wasn't Win,but Tine........unless he didn't wanted to be recognised by Sarawat again as he probably had fallen out of love.