Fluffy Larry Oneshots

the body keeps score

Louis quietly stands behind the man, who is probably two heads taller than him, and simply inhales the smell of fulfilment. He has a plan though, he will ask this man out to coffee or tea or maybe to cuddle for hours so he can smell him. The man turns around and bumps into him as his pastry falls to the ground but he grabs Louis. 

"Are you okay, mate?" he asks a dazed Louis. 

"Uh yeah, sorry. I was going to ask, would you like to go out with me?" Louis blurts out, feeling his cheeks warm. He watches the man's eyes widen and his lips quirk into a slight smile. 

"Of course I would. What is your name, love?" Oh he has dimples. 

"Louis! It's Louis." 

"I'm Harry and I think you're probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen." 

"Really? Am I that breathtaking? You're full of lies!" 

"Oh come on, like you don't have a mirror. You could give all the Hollywood guys a run for their money if you wanted to." He smirks and Louis has never felt quite so dizzy. 

The Christmas lights glimmer like stars above Louis as he stares at Harry talk about his dog, a golden retriever named Lavender who loved broccoli or honestly anything Harry feeds her. 

"Oh she just loves you too much! You know that right?" 

"I think she just loves food, that's what it is but sure I guess your theory works too." He reaches over to wipe the corner of Louis' mouth and touches his scar accidentally. "I'm so sorry, I would never intentionally do that, Louis," he says almost pleadingly.

"It's okay, the scar's kinda big and hard to avoid," he laughs, genuinely feeling no remorse that Harry can see his scar. Harry understands, he knows that. He cannot for the life of him explain why but he knows Harry understands.

"I think it makes you all the more beautiful. May I be excused to the washroom?" And Louis nods. Harry leaves his phone on the table and walks off. He has a beautiful body, Louis realises. 

Harry's phone pings with a notification from a message and Louis knows he shouldn't look but he does, and right then and there, his whole world stills and it feels like the sky has collapsed on his body he worked so hard to piece together. Harry's lock screen is a picture of Louis holding a puppy, it's a golden retriever puppy. It all makes sense to Louis now, the familiar scent, the understanding they share, it all pieces itself together. And although his head hurts from how hard he is trying to remember Harry and the knowledge that he won't be able to, he knows that he has loved Harry greatly. His skin is on fire from how much he wants Harry to touch him, to comfort him. 

Louis sits stewing in his own concoction of emotions he cannot quite name, eyes welled with tears he refuses to let flow as he watches Harry take his sweet time walking back to their table. His eyes look red and swollen, he must have been crying. 

"I hate you." His eyes let loose the tears he has been holding back. His heart feels like it's made of lead. 

"Why?" 

"Because you left me! You left me to fend for myself in this cruel and unforgiving world with hazy memories of smells and an emptiness I looked around to fill for three long years. You hurt me, Harry," he cries into his hands.

"Let's go outside, people are looking, sweetheart," he says softly and Louis allows himself to be escorted out of the place. 

They walked in complete silence until they reached a park. Gosh, the park felt familiar too. Louis lets out a sob as they sit down on a bench. 

"This is where you proposed to me, Lou. I always bring Lavender here on our walks you know," Harry says as he smooths Louis' hand over.

"You're a terrible person for leaving me," he chokes out as he buries his face into Harry's chest and wraps his arms around him. Harry holds him back tightly

"You think it didn't hurt me? Knowing the fucking love of my love was out there? Living his life, doing things, dating men and women, kissing them, having sex with them? Do you really think it didn't make me want to rip my hair out and slit my wrists, living with that knowledge every goddamn day? I went to sleep every night but never on your side, I never threw out your thousands of pillows or the stupid toiletries you bought from health food shops," Harry accuses but Louis listens, crying into his chest. "I still cry all the bloody time because I lost you. I need you like a child needs its parent, I require your presence like a fish needs water. I love you like oxygen and you say I left you. I would much rather die than leave you. You are my entire world, my lifeline. I never dated or anything, it felt like I was doing something wholly dirty. I was going to live out my entire life with the memories of you and then there you were at the cafe asking me out, looking up at me with those eyes which are burned into my heart and I thought maybe we could rebuild what we had and make another life together." Louis's heart feels like it's being crushed under a boulder.

"I never did that," Louis cries, fisting Harry's overcoat and digging his nails in. 

"What?" 

"Dated someone, let alone have sex with them. It felt wrong and stupid and useless." And Harry nods like he understands and that cracks Louis's soul just a little bit. 

"Why did you leave me then?" Louis mutters.

"The doctors thought it would be best for your recovery because it would put unnecessary pressure on your brain and cause stress which could hinder your progress or even cause you to lose more memory." And Louis gasps.

"It would never have been unnecessary, you're my life, Harry. I would do anything for you, I would die for you," he says as he looks up at Harry who shushes him and places a finger on his lips. 

"You've been close enough to death to let me know that I would go insane if you ever did cross the bridge, my little fawn." 

"Will you take me home, Harry?" he asks, eyes aching like they still have oceans worth of tears left to cry.

"Where?" Louis simply kisses him but it isn't simple. It feels like it answers all of Louis' questions and makes him whole again, it makes him feel human again and gives him more life than oxygen ever could. 

"I want to go where you go, I want to sleep in the same bed as you in the spot you saved me, I want to feed Lavender in the mornings and I want to follow wherever your footsteps lead," Louis smiles into their kiss. 

"She still waits for you at the door and stares at your pictures, she always loved you just a little bit more."

"Don't you get it, Harry? The universe led me to you. We're made of the same elements of one star and even though my mind forgot you, my body, my essence couldn't forget where it belongs and it's you, you're my starlight guiding me through the darkness of the memories I can't quite remember." 

"We'll make new ones that we can both share," Harry smiles, tears still streaming down his cheeks as he traces Louis' scar.