Checkmate

34| Checkmate

We agree to meet at Blake's on Saturday at eight. I get to his house a little earlier than the others, wearing a leather skirt I'd found in the back of my closet. It's not the kind of thing I'd usually wear, but tonight it seems fitting.

The drive to his house is the worst it's ever felt. It doesn't matter how often I tell myself not to overthink. Between every stoplight, it's all I can do. What if I tell him and he doesn't say it back? What if he quits as my campaign captain? I'm taking a risk by not waiting until next week, but the longer I wait to tell him how I feel, the more likely I'll back out. I want to do this now while I feel ready; I need to.

After parking my car, I climb out and straighten my dress before heading to the basement. Blake takes one look at me as I walk through the door, joint dangling from his mouth and freezes.

My heart thumps wildly at his reaction. Blake puts the joint in the ashtray and walks over. Before he can speak, I pull him closer, feigning bravery, and let him push me up against the wall. Maybe it's stupid – scratch that, it's ridiculous – but tonight, I plan to do everything possible to sway the odds in my favor, including driving him insane.

He stares at me, surprised, but quickly takes my waist. I reach up, pull him closer by his neck, and kiss him. It's brief and tantalizingly gentle – a taste of what's to come.

He leans closer, resting his mouth near my ear. When he speaks, his voice is heavy and rough. "You're killing me, Rose."

My heart does that thing where it jumps out of my chest. As I'm contemplating whether or not to kiss him again, footsteps sound outside the basement. We break apart as Liv and the others walk in, looking concert-ready, and glance between the two of us.

"Every time we walk in here," Freddie says, "Rose looks like she's been caught with her fingers in the cookie jar."

Liv swats his arm and turns to face me, smiling. "You guys ready? We wanna get there early to get closer to the stage."

Blake gets to his feet with a glance at my lips and sighs. "We're ready."

Liv drives us to the concert just out of town. Blake and I end up sandwiched next to each other, and every so often, he turns his head to look at me. His hand is so close that if he moved it slightly, he could place it on my thigh, but with Kenny beside us, it's far too risky. Still, I can't help but want him to anyway.

I turn to the window, watching trees and various outlets pass by in a state of anxiety. On the one hand, I'm desperate to find out how Blake feels about me. Despite our no overthinking policy, I'm tired of living in this state of limbo, not knowing where we stand either way. But on the other, I'm terrified. What if I'm wrong? What if, despite every sign saying yes, he says no? I'm not sure I could handle it.

With a deep breath, I focus on the feel of my bracelet as I press it between my fingers. I've never been to a concert before – it's not my thing – and as usual when Blake takes me out of my comfort zone, I wonder if this is such a good idea. Still, it's a nice distraction from the upcoming ballot for my presidency – a distraction from what I plan to do.

Liv pulls into the parking lot behind the venue. We climb out and stride toward what looks like a small, run-down basement sandwiched between a pharmacy and a pizza place. We're early enough that we get through the crowd outside of the entrance relatively quickly, but as I stare at the face piercings of the guy next to me, I can't help but feel entirely out of place.

Inside is as dark and smoky as Blake's basement but entirely unfamiliar. Blake grabs my hand, pulling me through the crowd of sweaty bodies and to the front of the stage. "Stay close to me," he says.