when y/n is called the office, she learns that her grades aren't good enough to get into her dream school, her dream of getting her track scholarship crushed in a matter of minutes. That is until she is provided with a tutor.
Started: aug 11 2022 <3
~Psychological literature calls it the anniversary reaction and defines it as an individual's response to unresolved grief resulting from significant losses. The anniversary reaction can involve several days or even weeks of anxiety, anger, nightmares, flashbacks, depression, or fear.~
I'm not going to lie, but yesterday threw me off a bit, not being able to run was weird, but i was right, i just needed to sleep is all. I looked in my mirror putting on my make up and fixing my hair.
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It was a simple outfit yet really cute, I grabbed my bag and walked out the door, I walked looking at the trees and clouds that were covering the sky which was dark almost a grayish color it was cold and gloomy but so beautiful.
I sat in class the voices around me blurred as if they were back ground characters on a show just there to make noise. "Y/n...y/n..." I felt my arm being grabbed, my mind being pulled out of the daze I was in. " make sure to write down the date 05/29/2020" the teacher said before looked at me his eye furrowed concern washing over him. "Y/n... are you okay?" I looked to the side of me Ben staring with the same look. "I'm... yea" I looked down everyone else reading pages not paying attention to me nor Ben, tears falling from my eyes landing on the desk. I'm...crying I thought to myself before quickly standing up and walking out of the class room. I need air... I walked out of the school wiping my eyes quietly laughing to myself. " ah this can't be happening, not Now" I said the sound of footsteps getting louder, I turned around but before I could say anything or even react a pair of arms wrapped around me holding one to me tightly for a few seconds before they moved back, " what's going on with you? You can talk to me..." I looked up couch standing in front of me" I wiped my eyes and smiled.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me" I said chuckling " I just didn't get sleep last night"
(Last night)
"This is your fault, you could have stopped this y/n" ash said standing feet away from me "ash...ash!" I said relived missing what he had said I ran up to him but when I made it his body was now laying on the ground a pool of blood around him. "No...no this isn't happening"
"You were to late yet again you keep failing over and over again." His voice echoing in my head " that's not true I tried I really did..."
The room around me changing into my bedroom, 05/29/2019 the calendar on the wall haunting me the door opening as I turned around ash walking into my room Hey y/n, want to go for a run? He asked his hands shaky. " are you kidding me? Do I want to go on a run with you? Go to hell" my voice said getting louder every time it repeated itself, the door slamming the room becoming dark before police and ambulance sirens and lights lit up the darkness around me.
" this is your fault"
I eyes opened, my body drenched in sweat my eyes filled with tears, a wave of regret washing over me as I just sobbed curling up in a ball on my bed.
(End)
Don't lie to me y/n, mrs gracey said the bell ringing as we stood out In the parking lot. I opened my mouth to say something, anything but I just stood there silently tears re forming " I don't know why I didn't go with him" I said she looked at me confused not know what I was talking about " it's my fault" I said in between sobs, we walked up to me wrapping her arms around me once one.
It's a truly humbling experience, you know, when you try so hard to live a normal healthy life, a happy one forcing all you problems away and telling the people around you that you're okay, yet when they actually see you, see you break down uncontrollably and realize that you were never really fine, everyone has problems yet in this moment you feel isolated you lied to yourself that when it happens you just as confused as everyone else.
I opened my eyes Ben looking directly at me, he stood in the doorway before backing up and walking away.
"Does this have something to do with you down on the track yesterday?" She asked pulling away "I don't know" I say
