A murderer for a father: Jean L. Black ||Sirius Blacks daughter

Old memories

At Grimmauldplace
Jean had begged her godparents to spend Christmas at Grimmauldplace, before going to her aunt and uncles house. She really needed to feel close to her parents and somehow Grimmauldplace made her feel just that. Here she was, sitting on her dad’s old bed, staring at the engravings her mum had made. She ran her fingers over the edge of her bed and suddenly felt something cold. It was like a round glass, almost like a vial. Getting more and more curious, she leaned over to pull the thing out without breaking it. What she saw next, shocked her.
,,Loads of old vials”, she mumbled, turning one of them in her hands. There seemed to be a silvery, glowing liquid in them, which interested Jean greatly. ,,I’ve seen those before. Could it be that...?”, she kept on mumbling to herself, frowning slightly. She grabbed her book about mind reading and more as she skipped thought the pages, until she found a specific page. ,,I can’t believe I haven’t thought of that. They’re memories, old ones but you could still use them, if only you had a pensieve”, she muttered and slammed the book shut. Then a realisation struck her like a lightning bolt. ,,Of course. We should have an old pensieve in that messy room”, she mumbled, slapping herself into the face.
Before she knew it she had managed to transport the pensieve to her room and sat in front of it, holding one of the vials in her hand. Dumbledore had shown her how a pensieve worked so she knew exactly what to do.
Jean took a deep breath and emptied the vial into the pensieve. Not waiting any longer, she lowered her head into the pensieve. She felt herself falling until she landed softly in a cramped together apartment and several people hanging around. A gorgeous blonde young woman cried: ,,Sirius there’s nothing we can do. We need to hide, for Jean, for us, for the baby.” Jean walked towards the woman, looking into her so very familiar warm blue eyes. She stopped directly in front of her and mumbled: ,,Mum?” Then she heard a male voice, causing her to spin around to catch who was talking. ,,Marlene, I don’t want to sit around and do nothing. What if something happens to you or Jean, or the baby and I could’ve protected you all. And look at Lily and james, what if something happens to them and their baby? This war needs to stop”, a young handsome man with dark curls and stormy grey eyes argued. Jean immediately recognised him as her dad, but he looked younger, with less tattoos but with the same fire in his eyes. The redheaded, pregnant woman spoke up: ,,Sirius I’m begging you, go into hiding with us. He’s after us, after all of us. He knows and if he doesn’t then he will know. I understand that you don’t want to sit around and do nothing but it’s the most logical thing to do right now.” Jean heard her father sigh. Then she heard another voice: ,,Lily’s right, Pads. When he finds one of us, he will find a way to find all of us. Look, even Prongs is going into hiding so I think Marlene and you should do the same. Besides, I don’t want my goddaughter growing up without her parents, if not worse, she won’t grow up at all.” Jean saw her mother nod and the person who must be Harrys dad agreed. ,,No, I can’t stand this anymore. We need to end this war. Don’t you guys understand, there are people being murdered. You-know-who is getting stronger and more powerful by the day”, Sirius cried as he made his way towards the door. ,,C’mon Marlene, let’s go home”, he added, before he picked up a little baby, not older than six months. Jean recognised the baby as herself, dark curls and big blue eyes. Then the surroundings began to blur and Jean felt herself being pulled out of the pensieve.
She was panting and trying to process what had just happened. With trembling hands she clutched the vial and read the date; 09/1980. ‘That’s the year that Harry was born’, Jean mumbled and tried to put all the pieces together. Why did her parents keep that memory? Did they want her to find it? So many questions were spinning through Jean’s mind at that moment. Before she knew it, she was frantically searching for the vial the closest in date to the other. She finally found it and checked to date, just to make sure; 10/1980. With a nod, she opened the vial but hesitated. Should she really see this? Did she want to see this? With a deep breath she emptied the content of the vial into the pensieve. Then she lowered her head into it once again.
It took her a while to adjust to the dim light in the room. Once her eyes had settled in on the new surroundings, she saw the same blonde woman sitting in a big bed, the baby next to her. It seemed like she was scribbling in her diary and Jean carefully moved towards her mother and her seven month old self. She sat down on the bed and peaked into her mums diary.
It wasn’t a normal entry though, Jean saw her name at the top and noticed that it read; My dearest daughter Jean, if you ever read this, I might not be there anymore. Still, I want you to have something to remember me by. Whether you find out about my and your dad’s fate through the memories I’ve been saving for you, or through this diary, that I’m writing just for you, know that everything that will happen if we’re unlucky, should never affect the love that I have for you. Time is to short to explain everything that had happened so far in great detail but if you’ll see this memory, the diary is hidden under the mattress in Regulus’s room. I hope to never let you see this entry and that everything goes well and I will see you grow up. Either way, I love you. Be brave my love, yours forever, Mum.
Her mum seemed to be incredibly emotional and shut the diary. Then she picked the little girl up and sat her on her lap. ,,We’ll be alright, my love”, she mumbled to Jean’s younger self. Minutes later, a man entered the room and Jean quickly got up from the bed. Her mum just remained seated. Jean noticed that it was just her dad. ,,Marlene, I’ll take Jean to Moony’s now. How’s the baby? Are you feeling okay?”, he said and sat down next to Marlene. The real Jean just stood there and it made her heart warm and aching at the same time. She’d never seen her parents together and happy. Jean watched as her dad felt her mums belly. She felt stupid for not noticing the slightly obvious baby bump that her mum had. After doing the math she assumed that her mum must’ve just found out she was pregnant. She watched as her father took her younger self out of the room, leaving her mother alone again after pressing a gentle kiss onto her lips. Then, the surroundings got blurry again and Jean felt herself being pulled out of the pensieve once again.
After a bit more panting and thinking Jean sighed: ,,This is mad. My mum left me memories and a diary, to understand her disappearance and murder.” She felt a bit stupid but she decided to ask Remus about that Regulus guy that her mum had mentioned. While running her hand through her hair, she decided that she would hide all the vials and the pensieve under her bed for now. She recollected the memory that she had just watched and shoved it into the box with the others. Then she closed the box and placed it under her bed. After a moment of thought and measuring if it would fit, she placed the pensieve next to the box. She sighed and got up, planning to ask Remus about Regulus later.
Later
Jean and Remus sat together at the dinner table, Remus reading his paper and Jean picking a piece of bread apart, plotting how to best bring up her issue. Her godfather looked over to her, over his paper and asked: ,,Are you alright? You seem a bit too quiet today.” Jean, who was completely sunken into her thoughts realised that she was being talked to and answered: ,,Mhh?” Remus smirked weakly, before he repeated: ,,Are you alright?” After poking her bread for a few more seconds she answered: ,,Well actually, I have a question, well multiple ones.” Remus raised his eyebrow and asked: ,,You want to tell me?” She smiled and replied: ,,If you’ll listen.” He nodded and motioned Jean to fire away. Jean took a deep breath and began: ,,So I found these old vials in Dad’s old room. They looked familiar to those Dumbledore keeps in his office when he’s showing memories to Harry or me. I did a little bit of snooping and found an old pensieve, so I thought I’d give it a go. I watched two memories. One, where Dad, Mum, you, Harrys parents and another guy were in a room and dad was furious and rambling about how he didn’t want to hide and he wanted to end the war. The other, where my mum and my seven month old self were in dad’s old bedroom and mum was writing a diary entry. The strange thing was, she explained through the diary that she left memories for me behind. Memories, explaining everything. Then dad came in and took the baby-me away. Remus, I’m so confused. It’s like my mother already guessed what might happen, it’s like she knew it. Maybe, if they just went into hiding, making you secret keeper, at least mum would still be alive today.” Remus didn’t look as shocked as Jean had expected him to look. He just sat there, nodding and finally he answered: ,,I knew that your mum was planning something, but never knew exactly what. This explains a lot. I don’t know If she managed to leave memories behind, that show what exactly happened after she and her family went missing, but if she did manage to do this, it will be great help. Jean, I’m sorry to ask you this, but are you willing to let me see the memories with you?” She immediately nodded. ,,I reckon its better if you did. I don’t know if I can handle watching my mum being tortured or even worse”, she admitted. Remus seemed to be thinking about something, but Jean remembered that she wanted to ask him about that Regulus bloke, her mum had mentioned. She cleared her throat and attempted: ,,There was something else. Mum mentioned a lad named Regulus in her diary and that I could find it in his room under the mattress. Do you... know who this is?” Remus seemed to be taken aback about Jean’s discovery. ,,Regulus was your dad’s brother. Sirius envied him for being so incredibly perfect for their family. He was a slytherin, later prefect, never dared to doubt the family’s obsession with keeping the blood pure. He was by no means full of himself or ever rude or arrogant. The exact opposite actually. Always very down to earth and a good shoulder to cry on. He made friends with the house elves as well and treated them well, especially Kreacher”, Remus explained and even flashed a smile. ,,So he is my uncle. Is he still alive?”, she mumbled and nodded, trying to process all that. Remus seemed a bit clueless when he answered: ,,I don’t know. Him and Sirius haven’t spoken in years. Didn’t even show up for your dad’s funeral.” ,,Mhh”, she made and buried her head in her arms. ,,I’m tired, can we call it an early night?”, Jean mumbled, trying to supress her curiosity. Remus smiled gratefully and agreed: ,,I think it’s best if we do. We’re at the burrow tomorrow just so you know. I’ll tell Tonks to get you up on time.” Another thought suddenly crossed her mind. Without thinking she blurted out: ,,It’s almost full moon. Did you take your potion?” Remus tried to avoid her gaze all of a sudden and mumbled: ,,I’m fine, really.” That was answer enough for Jean, but she continued digging: ,,That didn’t answer my question. Did you take your potion or not, Remus, I’m not a child anymore. You tell me now!” He sighed and looked at her tiredly: ,,Supplies are lacking. They couldn’t brew me enough for this month.” Jean counted in her head and mumbled: ,,Three days ‘til full moon. Are you sure you can deal with it without the potion?” Remus forced himself to nod and answered: ,,I’ll be okay. Maybe I won’t loose total control. I just want you to stay away from the forest that night, okay.” She sighed and reluctantly agreed. ,,One more thing though, do you know when mum went missing?”, Jean wondered. Remus nodded and answered her in a quiet voice: ,,Shortly after your sister was born. I believe it was the 7th of March that Sirius was frantically looking for her and couldn’t find her.” Nodding and kind of absent minded, Jean went to turn around to go back upstairs. Remus held her back while requesting: ,,Jean, don’t look for that memory... everything that has happened is already hurtful enough, you don’t need to see that.” Jean felt busted. How’d he know that she was about to search for that exact memory. ,,I- yea, I won’t, don’t worry. I’ll go to bed though”, she mumbled and got out of there, before Remus could see she was being untruthful.
In a corridor
Her head full of thoughts and questions, Jean made her way back to her room. From the corner of her eye she spotted something that caught her attention. She stood in front of a door and read the sign written on the door. ,,Regulus Arctus Black”, she mumbled and ran her finger over the nametag. Something in her head clicked and she instantly knew why she’d stopped to look at it. ,,Regulus. The diary, I need to find it”, Jean mumbled to herself and barged into the room.
It was dusty in there and smelled kinda mouldy and stale. Despite that, she immediately got to business. After she removed some of the dust from the bed, she began searching for the diary. Maybe her mum had hidden it at the side of the bed, so she went along the edges, praying that she would find it there. At last, when she was about to give up, she saw a similar shade of red to the diary in the memory flash from the bedframe. Her heart skipped a beat and she leaped forward to grab it. The binding was very soft, almost lacy and very dusty. Carefully she blew on the cover to get rid of the dust. Once it had been blown away, the diary looked much brighter and over all newer. Jean held her breath out of excitement as she opened it. ,,This is the property of Marlene McKinnon”; it read. ,,I found it”, Jean breathed and turned to the next page. Another message was waiting for her, this time addressed to her; My Jean, I hope this will help you understand all the things that happened. I also hope that it won’t ever come so far that you actually need this and that I can be there for you. In case this isn’t like that, I know you’re strong and I’m deeply sorry. Be brave, I love you, yours forever, Mum.
Jean had tears in her eyes. Her mum actually had a backup plan for a situation like this. She knew that one day, Jean would come to find Grimmauldplace and all the memories. She knew that her story wouldn’t be untold. ,,Oh my god”, Jean whispered, still overwhelmed with her mothers smartness. She shut the diary and took it to her room, reading in it for the rest of the evening until she finally fell asleep.