A murderer for a father: Jean L. Black ||Sirius Blacks daughter

Feud at Grimmauldplace

Jean, Ron, Hermione, Harry, the Weasleys, Sirius, Tonks, Remus, Mad-eye moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt were sitting at the dinner table and discussing.
,,Is the food alright? If you lot need anything, just ask me”, Mrs Weasley stressed and hurried towards the kitchen. Arthur Weasley called after his wife: ,,Molly, just come and sit down. We all know where the kitchen is. Don’t stress yourself out.” Mrs Weasley came back and tried to be as calm as possible. Harry had just arrived at Grimmauld place, rescued by Tonks, Kingsley and Mad-eye. Mrs Weasley  was visibly excited but also stressed. She sat down next to her husband and apologised: ,,I’m sorry, I’m just glad that everyone made it here OK. Enjoy your meals, dears.” They all murmured thankfully and began eating their soup.
,,So, what’s that order of the Phoenix you guys were talking about?”, Harry asked curiously. Sirius was about to answer when Mrs Weasley  shot him a warning glare. ,,Don’t worry about it, dear. No one underage is allowed to participate anyways. Just relax”, she answered in an overly soft voice. Harry looked at Jean and she just shot him a ‘I’ll-tell-you-later’- look. Harry just shrugged and continued to eat. ,,Harry, do you mind a private word with me in the kitchen”, Sirius asked suddenly. Harry looked surprised but nodded.
As they walked away, Jean started to feel that nasty feeling of jealousy again. What was so important that he talked to Harry about it and not her? Why was it always Harry, who had ‘private talks’ with her dad. Her eyes filled with tears and she tried hard to blink them away so that no one would notice. Remus just looked at her, concerned, but resumed eating once Jean turned away. She was so jealous of Harry and she felt guilty about it. She knew that it wasn’t Harrys fault but she couldn’t help it. Her dad seemed to favour him over her. She nibbled on her piece of bread quietly and didn’t say much until they came back. Harry was beaming, leaving Jean puzzled. What was he so happy about? She looked at her dad and he looked rather proud. She couldn’t tell if of Harry or himself but she was confused about it. Once Harry had retaken his seat beside her she breathed: ,,What did he want to talk about? Was it important?” Harry looked at her happily and whispered back: ,,He said that I can move in next year. And he said that he’s proud of me.”
There was a loud noise of a chair falling to the ground. Jean’s chair. She had gotten up so suddenly that the chair that she sat on fell over and hit the ground. She just stood there with her fists clenched. She was just furious now. It wasn’t the fact that her dad had just asked her best friend to move in with them but the fact that her dad was proud of him. She hadn’t heard those words in 14 years. She had never been told those words from him. She felt jealousy, sadness and anger all at once. She just stood there with her fists clenched and trying so hard not to cry.
Everyone else was completely silent until Sirius broke the very awkward silence: ,,Jean? Is there something you want to say?” Harry looked confused. Remus and Tonks looked at each other anxiously, knowing what was about to happen, Fred had seized Jean’s wrist and tried to get her to calm down, Hermione and Ron looked equally as confused as Harry and everyone else was just startled. Jean had her lips pressed together in anger and tried not to burst out crying. For once she wished that her sister was there with her. Then finally she asked, looking directly at her father: ,,Why?” He looked at her confused but ordered in a whisper: ,,Would you please sit back down.” Jean shook her head slowly. Then she couldn’t hold back anymore. ,,Tell me WHY has it always been this way. TELL ME WHY, you didn’t write to me or Elaine last year. TELL ME WHY, DAD, WHY?!”, she cried. Everyone was so confused on what was going on, except for Remus and Tonks.
Sirius looked at his daughter calmly and ordered: ,,Jean, Room, now.” Jean looked at him in disbelief but turned around and stormed into the corridor. While she did, she kept on mumbling about wanting to move back to Remus’s. 
A few moments later she heard her dad excuse himself and coming toward the corridor. He stepped into it and closed the door behind him. ,,This way”, he just said calmly and guided her to another room. Jean followed reluctantly, still full of anger. She saw him open the door to another room and he said: ,,Get in here. Let’s not disturb the others.” She clenched her fist harder but went into the room. She stood by the window and tried to ignore her father, who had closed the door behind him. ,,So, why the sudden outburst?”, Sirius asked. Jean stayed silent for a moment and thought. She was so angry at her dad but also sad that he never contacted her at all last year. The fact that he was this calm angered her even more. It was like he didn’t even care. She felt all her anger rise up inside her. All the emotions that she had bottled up for the last year.
She had tears in her eyes now. Sirius was leaning against the wall and was waiting for his daughter to say something. Jean spun around. ,,WHAT IS THE REASON DAD? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? Always in contact with Harry and always telling him you’re proud of him, but what about me? I’M your daughter and you haven’t seen me in 12 years. Isn’t it bothering you that we don’t have any kind of relationship? Aren’t you proud of ME?”, she cried, angry tears streaming down her face. She covered her face once she was done screaming. ,,Jean, Harry has no one but me and he has lost both his parents. Be a little empathetic. I know that I wasn’t around and I’m sorry for that, but that’s not an excuse for you to behave like that”, Sirius said softly. Jean shook her head in disbelief. ,,HE lost both his parents? I DID TOO. MUM DIED WHEN I WAS A BLOODY YEAR OLD. You got yourself arrested after Elaine’s godparents died. I HAD NO ONE. I WAS RAISED BY YOUR BEST FRIEND. And you know whose fault that is? YOURS. Why were you even at the potter’s house that night, 14 years ago? WHY did they arrest you? Dad, I do not understand. WHY do you favour Harry? WHY?”, Jean cried once more. Sirius was now slightly angrier but managed to keep his voice steady and normal: ,,Jean, you are my daughter. Harry is my Godson. You know I love you and that I am always there for you. Harry on the other hand-” ,,OH, I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME? SHOW ME THEN. SHOW ME, that you love me. SHOW ME, that you’re there for me! And just that you know, I don’t blame Harry in the slightest way. HE didn’t do anything wrong. YOU were the one who decided to go low contact with me. Nobody forced you to”, Jean interrupted. Sirius now had both anger and that look of sadness in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted. ,,What is going on in here? Why is there screaming?”, Remus asked and opened the door to find a crying Jean and a what seemed to be calm Sirius. He just stood there when Jean said to her dad: ,,Pick, me or Harry?” Sirius looked down to the floor and said nothing, but his silence was enough for Jean. She stormed past her dad sobbing and wanted to exit the room, but was caught by Remus, who took her into his arms. She sobbed in Remus’s arms and heard him say: ,,Your own daughter, padfoot? I thought you knew better...” Sirius just looked at Remus, apparently not knowing what to do or say. He just rushed past Jean and Remus and out of the room.
,,Shh, Jean it’s fine. He’ll think about it again...I hope”, Remus mumbled, stroking Jean’s dark curls. She hugged him tighter and sobbed: ,,Why wouldn’t he say anything? Am I not important to him?” ,,He’ll reconsider. Just give him a few days. He’s just back from that cave up in the mountains. And he’s glad that Harry made it out alive after what happened last year”, Remus tried to calm her. ,,But Remus, you don’t understand. He just dismissed my feelings like it was nothing. He didn’t even flinch when I asked him to choose”, she continued sobbing. ,,I do, sadly”, he mumbled. He took Jean’s head in his hands and wiped her tears. ,,Don’t worry too much. I’ll talk to him”, he assured her and kissed her forehead. Jean was surprised but happy. She had never received a forehead kiss. It felt like Remus actually cared about her. She felt like Remus and Tonks had been there for her through all of it and she felt like they were her parents. She felt save with the both of them.
,,SIRIUS SHES YOUR DAUGHTER”, Jean heard Remus shouting. She was just getting a Glass of water when she heard him. ,,AND SHES FINE. HARRY’S LOST HIS PARENTS AND HAD TO LIVE WITH THESE HORRIBLE MUGGLES FOR 10 YEARS”, Sirius shouted back. Jean tiptoed closer to the door to eavesdrop. ,,ELAINE WAS BROUGHT UP BY A FOSTER FAMILY AND JEAN LIVED WITH ME. THEY NEVER HAD ANYONE RELATED TO THEM. BESIDES, THEIR MUM DIED WHEN THEY WERE A FEW MONTHS OLD AND AS YOU KNOW, YOU WERE NEVER AROUND EITHER AFTER YOU GOT YOURSELF ARRESTED”, Remus yelled. Her dad was quiet for a few seconds before saying: ,,Jean and Elaine are strong girls. And especially Jean can do it on her own. I know that. She doesn’t need me but Harry does. He... he’s different.” Jean’s heart sank and she heard Remus ask: ,,Why? Because Lily died protecting him? Because he’s ‘the chosen one’? Because he’s James’s son? Jean is your daughter and she needs you just as much.” Jean smiled behind the door but heard her dad sigh: ,,Jean...reminds me so much of Marlene. She has her smile and her gentle but forceful way and don’t even get me started on Elaine. She’s practically Marlene’s twin. And Harry... reminds me of James. He looks just like him. Except for the eyes...” ,,They’re Lily’s”, Remus completed the sentence. Her dad sighed again and mumbled: ,,Jean is doing fine on her own. Its her way. Harry needs me more at the moment”
Once again Jean’s heart dropped. She had hoped that he would realize that she needed him.
,,That’s no excuse Sirius. Do you want to know who was there for her, when you weren’t? I WAS. AND DORA WAS. SHE AND I WERE THE ONES BUYING HER FIRST BROOM AND SEEING HER OFF TO HOGWARTS. IT WAS MY PLACE THAT SHE STAYED. SHE SPENT CHRISTMAS AT MY PLACE AND IT WAS DORA AND I WHO SHE TOLD ABOUT HER FIRST BOYFRIEND. IT WAS DORA WHO COMFORTED HER WHEN SHE WAS SAD THAT YOU WERE GONE AND IT WAS I WHO TOOK HER TO DIAGON ALLEY. Sirius, we have been more like her parents then you and Marlene were. When Marlene died I promised to take care of Jean if something happened to you. She loves you so much but she’s hurting that you won’t show her the love that she deserves. If you intend to keep your daughter then act like a father. You can’t always run away from your responsibilities”, Remus explained and Jean could hear the anger and sadness in his voice. She wiped tears from her eyes. Remus’s words touched her deeply. And she noticed that he was right. It had always been him and Tonks to take care of her. It had been them to take her to diagon alley for the first time and it had been them to watch her first quiddich game ever. It was Remus who she could turn to if she needed a good advice and it had been Tonks who she could ask if things got tough. Her role models had always been them and she really viewed them as her parents.
It was quiet in the room. Neither Remus nor Sirius were saying anything and Jean, behind the door was scared to move, in case she made a sound. Then she heard her dad’s voice again: ,,I uh, never thought about it that way. I always thought that she knew how much I love her. The both of them. She’s... one of the reasons I didn’t loose my mind in Azkaban. She keeps me going. Remus, I’m such a bad father. God, I don’t even know when my own daughter is struggling.” Jean heard a thud and she assumed that her dad had sat down. ,,Padfoot, you’re not a bad father. I know it’s hard for you to stay in hiding and to be back at this place... Still I think you should talk to her, you know”, she heard Remus comfort her father. ,,She’s so difficult to handle. She definitely has a temper”, her dad answered. ,,Wonder who she’s gotten that from”, Remus chuckled. They both laughed. Even Jean, who had her eyes full of tears, stood behind the closed door and smiled. She heard Remus sigh once again and heard him walk toward the door. She quickly and quietly hid behind a statue when she heard him say: ,,Just try to see things her way.” Her dad answered: ,,Thanks Moony.” Then Jean heard the door open and Remus stepped out.
He closed the door behind him and to her surprise he said: ,,I know you were listening in on the conversation.” She panicked for a moment and then stepped out behind the statue. ,,I...just wanted to get a glass of water when I heard you shouting. D’you think he actually meant what he said?” She saw Remus smile and he answered: ,,Find out yourself. Now’s your chance to talk to him, without anger influencing you.” She hesitated for a moment but then nodded. She walked toward the room and past Remus. When she was about to open the door she asked: ,,What if-” ,,Jean, just trust your instinct. You know that Tonks and I are always here for you, but just talk to him”, Remus interrupted. Jean nodded and Remus walked away. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
Her dad was sitting in an armchair, his head rested in his hands. ,,Dad?”, Jean muttered, hoping to get his attention. He looked up quite confused and answered: ,,Jean, what are you doing here so late. If Molly catches you, she’ll freak out.” ,,So, you’re not gonna freak out? Look I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have made you choose between me and Harry”, Jean admitted. He looked at her a bit unsure about what to say. ,,No, it was my fault. I should have given you more attention”, he finally said. ,,You should’ve?! Dad, you barely even looked at me for the last year. I mean I can understand that you don’t want to talk to Elaine because of her behaviour but why me? I’ve been sending you letters all year and I didnt get a reply to one of them. The only question I have is why?”, Jean snapped. She thought to herself, why in the world did she snap at him like this again. She knew it wouldn’t do anything. Her blue eyes met her dad’s grey ones while she was waiting for him to respond. Finally he broke the eye contact and mumbled: ,,It’s enough, Jean. Go to bed now.” Her eyes widened. She couldn’t believe that he would dodge her question like that. All her rage came back to the surface, she scoffed, before she lost it on him: ,,Oh, so you’re not gonna answer my question then?! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT. EVERY SINGLE BLOODY TIME I TRY TO BOND WITH YOU, YOU JUST DISMISS ME. You know, Remus is right. He and Tonks are better parents than you. I don’t blame mum for dying, it was not her fault. But I blame you for being such an awful father to me. Just try to not be a git for once, will you. I wish you would’ve stayed in Azkaban.” She slapped her hands over her mouth. What had she just said? She just looked at her father one last time and saw the sad look in his eyes. She couldn’t stand it. Then she stormed out of the room and up to hers, Ginny’s and Hermione’s room.