The Life Of A Submissive.

Someone new

"Fuck!" I exclaimed as I failed my eyeliner for the 3rd time. I'm usually so precise and never have any trouble but today? Today I feel as though I'm learning to do make up for the first time all over again. Why am I so nervous? I've had crushes before, I've met up with guys before but this? This feels so intense and so different to anything I've ever experienced.

My phone pings. "I'm on my way gorgeous!" Shit. What is wrong with me? I refuse to let a man have this much power over me so soon. I decide to give up on the eyeliner façade and go with some pink eyeshadow with a pop of shine on my lid. My skin is clear, my lips are soft and my stomach is betraying me.

We've been talking for only a day but already I feel as though I've known him for years. Those baby blue eyes and those brunette curly locks...focus rose! I shake my head in frustration as I scramble around my tiny bedroom to gather my things into my red Michael Kors back pack.

Hair brush
lip balm
Perfume
Book (obviously)
Keys
Purse
Mints
Water

Okay. I guess I'm ready? This feels like when you're on the slow incline of a rollercoaster and you know you're going to go down the drop.

I look up bus times and the only bus that can get me there on time will make me anxious as there's not enough time to spare. I decide on a Uber instead. £12? That's not so bad I guess. Especially, if it means my anxiety will be a little easier to manage. I order the Uber to my house and do a final check over my outfit. I settled on black, straight legged, ripped jeans. Black trainers and a pink Tye dye hoodie that reads "positive state of mind" with a bright yellow smiley face. A little cliché? Perhaps, but I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard.

I tousle my hair, check my make up and head out. Shit shit shit. I can't do this. Yes you can. I shake off my nerves and meet my Uber driver. "Uber for rose?" My best customer service voice is activated as I put on an overly sweet tone. The ride to the city is agonising, all I can think about is him. His Hinge profile says he's 6'1 which would mean that he's approximately 5 inches taller. A small inward shiver leaves my body. Hopefully the Uber driver just thinks I'm cold.

Fuck sake we're here. I get out and look around, he's not going to be here for another 45 minutes. I text him to say that I'm going to McDonald's as I've not eaten yet which isn't ideal considering that it's 5:30pm. I head across town and head into the closest McDonald's. There are so many people here and they're all taller than me and giving me weird glances. I hate this. I'm nervous enough without the tension in here. I order my food and go downstairs to the additional seating. I've timed this terribly, all of the kids in secondary school are here making the environment buzz.

I'm starving so I eat with no regard as to how I look to other people but I try my best to take my time. After all, I still have time to kill and I know that if I go to the coach station now I'll just squirm with anticipation. He's almost here. I disregard the intrusive thought as I clear away my tray. I always find it incredibly rude when people just leave their rubbish for the staff to clean. I sigh thinking about it as I separate the left over materials into the correct recycling section and I wish the staff a great day. It costs nothing to be nice.

I walk out of the restaurant with a smile knowing that I made someone's day and I start walking back to the station. 20 minutes. I gulp and carry on walking as if I'm entirely fine.

"I'm almost there baby girl" you think I don't know that? I'm counting the minutes and planning each of them out. I decide to sit in the station and await his coach. He's texting me every few minutes with updates and telling me how nervous he is. It's cute but I don't believe him. I mean? Look at him. He's so so beautiful and I can't understand for the life of me why he's interested. But surely if he wasn't interested he wouldn't travel 2 hours to come see me? But what if it's a joke? What if he's not actually coming? I'm insane.

I finally see his coach pull into the station after what feels like hours of me waiting around for him in the station. My heart skips a beat and my palms begin to sweat. I chew the inside of my cheek as I scout the people coming off the coach to find him.

"I see you!" My phone pings again. SHIT. What am I doing?? Before I can even allow the thought to linger I see him. He's got a huge grin on his face as he strides towards me and pulls me into a bear hug. He's absolutely not 6'1 I'd guess 6'3? 6'4? Fuck he smells so good. I feel his back muscles under my hands as we hug and I feel myself blush. It's a good job I'm wearing full coverage foundation.

We exchange a few nervous giggles each, walk through the coach station and I have to ask him to stop for a moment so that I can process the fact that not only is he here but he's even more perfect in person than I ever could have anticipated.

This is going to be dangerous. I already feel myself falling for him.