The Meeting

The Buckets

A - Busted! Drive safe. I love you. See you soon x

L - I love you, see you soon.

As I clicked out of my messages to Alex, I automatically clicked into Twitter. I guess Katie hadn't been the voice of reason after all.

Imagine being Leah Williamson, captain of the England team but being unable to keep your wife happy.

Lol Alex is totally going to cheat on Leah on tour. I'm calling it.

Grace Murphy > Leah Williamson

I drove home, barely able to see through my tears. I stopped around the corner from home, trying to compose myself. I knew Alex was excited about her surprise for me but I was unsure if I was going to be able to be excited about it.

As I pulled up to the house, I saw Milo in the window wagging his tail at my arrival. My mind was racing with frustration that I was living the life I had dreamt of with Alex but allowing these strangers to make me feel so insignificant. I took a deep breath and entered the house, immediately greeted by a smiling Alex who had her arms open before I had even got through the door, how does she always know what I need?

As I rested my head on top of Alex's, I could feel my body begin to relax. It was as if holding her had removed all of my anxiety, as if it had disappeared and was no longer even a word.

"I missed you, Le." Alex spot softly.
"I missed you too." I replied, lifting her chin with my fingers to place a delicate kiss on her lips.
"You're going to think I'm mental, come outside." She laughed, taking my hand and leading me to the back garden.
"You better not think I need some kind of water bucket challenge to feel better." I laughed, referencing the two buckets that Alex had set side by side on the grass outside.
"No, it's worse but I think it'll help to explain how you're feeling. So the water in both these buckets symbolise anxiety, okay?" She spoke with such passion, making me smile at how much thought she had put into whatever this was.
"Okay, I'm with you." I said, smiling at her.
"So, take that screwdriver and punch holes in one of the buckets." She said, intently concentrating to make sure she got this right.

I wasn't really sure where she was going with this but she obviously had a plan so I did as she asked. As I punched holes around the bucket, the water began to flow out through it leaving the bucket almost empty.

"Notice how one bucket has less anxiety than the other?" She asked.
"Yes?" I responded, still find her extremely cute as she spoke.
"So, the bucket filled with anxiety has built up because it has no escape. The bucket that opened up, well it has less anxiety now." She said, now tilting her head at me to see if I was following.
"Alex." I said, walking towards her and taking her into my arms.
"Stupid idea? I'm sorry." She replied, sighing slightly.
"Who's anxious now?" I joked. "I was going to ask how you always know what I need?" I said, tightening my grip around her.
"You're my wife, Le. I'm suppose to." She said, speaking confidently now she knew her idea had worked.
"You're incredible." I whispered into her ear, leading her back inside.

Alex wasn't done though, she told me to wait on the sofa before disappearing upstairs and coming back down with a rectangular box wrapped in wrapping paper. As I ripped the paper and opened the box, I took out two glass jars, the type we stored our pasta in. The first jar was labelled 'it's only a minority' and the second was labelled 'incase I haven't told you today'. Alex kissed my cheek before speaking.

"Okay so I know I can't stop you from seeing these comments but inside jar one is 1,000 tweets, comments or posts that have been made by people that adore you. People that adore us. I want you to read them instead of the nasty ones in future please. And no, we don't have any ink left in the printer but who cares. Jar two, is filled with the things I wish I could say to you every day but there aren't enough hours. It's colour coded. So if you're feeling down about your appearance, lift out a green one, if you're anxious it's blue, if you miss me it's yellow." She said, awaiting my reaction.

I couldn't speak through the tears that had built up in my eyes, a prominent lump now stuck in my throat. I simply wrapped my arms around my girl and pulled her onto my lap, cuddling her into my chest and kissing every inch of her face.

This day had started off with me feeling like Alex might get sick of me and ended with me knowing that she understood my anxiety more than I ever thought she could. Those people that wrote that stuff on the internet were irrelevant, they didn't see these moments. Alex Ryan-Williamson was the best person I had ever know and she was mine.

We ate dinner together and Alex ran me a bath. She wrapped me in a towel after and even dried my hair for me, my heart filled with love for her. She pulled me into her in bed, placing soft kisses across my exposed skin. I fell asleep to the feeling of her lips on my back and her hand lightly stroking my hair.