LILITH | DEAN WINCHESTER [ ✓ ]

sam's special

             He had come to the conclusion that monsters were a living evil that existed like any other evil that humans could do, for Sam the difference —in the deep essence— didn't lie in which was worse, but in how fair it was. There was nothing just about humans suffering a supernatural misfortune. How was he supposed to get justice from murder? It wasn't like he could go to the police and report a demon for killing his girlfriend. It was then —feeling most pathetic and self-centered— that he understood his father for the first time. The same thing happened to him, the love of his life was taken from him in the most brutal and horrible way possible. Sam had no memory of his mom, unlike his brother. He could understand everything his sympathy let him understand about what his father and brother lost when his mother died: that happy life Dean experienced, that unconditional love in a couple. Now he understood, the next step was clearer. He needed justice.

             "Any case?" Dean asked, walking into the motel room with dinner, some burgers from some bar, the kind Dean liked.

             "No," he replied pulling his laptop away from the table for the food. "I can't find anything that looks like our thing, I mean, I have a few options, but I have a hunch we'll be wasting our time."

              "Dad called?" Since he didn't react as Dean expected to Dad's call, every now and then he would ask him with questioning eyes, as if he could really kill him with laser vision. "Sam," he insisted, again reaffirming who was the older one.

              "No," he said reluctantly. "He will communicate when he feels like it," he said, and that was the end of the conversation, reaffirming the very different stances they had towards Dad's attitude: Sam questioned and Dean obeyed.

               The journey they ran starting with a children's concern for their father's disappearance, not even knowing if he was alive, then going through enigmatic clues, but making it clear that Dad was alive and didn't want to be found, until finally the reunion, had taken Sam through a carousel of emotions, with anger playing the starring role. Dad was after the demon that killed Mom and Jess, he was chasing th demon leaving them out of the game, sitting on the bench. The problem was now theirs, it was everyone's.

               Sam's nightmares had started some time before Dean showed up and dragged him off to find Dad. He'd seen the flames capture Jess's body, a sensation so vivid that when he woke up he did it with his heart racing and hot sweat soaking his body. He felt it alive, present, but he purposely ignored it so wouldn't feel like a weirdo. He was sick of feeling like a weirdo who didn't fit into society, who hid so many secrets... those days were supposed to be over. He was with his girlfriend —his future fiancée— in a student apartment, Regina had gotten him a job interview thanks to his good performance in his subjects and high grades, he was at the top of the class. His life was going the way he always wanted it to, and yet the supernatural haunted him, he couldn't shake it. The nightmares over time became more frequent until they became a problem that scared him like a small child. It was the affirmation he ran away from so much: he was a freak and always was.

              He wasn't sure what they were or what they supposed, Lilith had told him he needed to be more concerned with the origin and it was certainly what he was most afraid of. Humans don't have powers, plain and simple, they don't have this kind of weirdness. God, he sounded like a character from dragons and dungeons. And if humans didn't have nightmares that came true, could sense their dead mother's presence, and moved objects with their minds, then what the fuck was he? The only good he had gotten out of them was being able to anticipate —partially— future tragedies. Saving innocent people was his consolation, and being able to see Mom. He had seen her in person, a reflection of who she once was, but the experience was greater than just a photograph. He had seen her height, how the features of her face moved as she smiled, seen her in action, and seen her in front of him. A part of her had been in the family home, making sure no one got hurt again. A true angel. Seeing her was the epitome of getting closer to justice, he understood Dad and Dean's motives like never before.