𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐲

𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞

- cassandra's 'cassie, cass' pov - august 12th 2022
- girls who cry ( chapter sixteen ) - 16

i have never been asked the question, "are you okay?", more times than i have ever been asked that said question, in the last three weeks.

i know why it would seem like i'm not okay. i haven't done much since coming back to the states. after the whole thing with my party and hailey bringing clover mae and henry, i think i just shut down and shut my mind off.

things that weren't so exhausting before, have become exhausted now.

like, for the past week i've done nothing but lay around and watch sad, spanish soap operas as i stuff my face with pickles and unsalted bags of popcorn. i can't find the energy to do anything else.

ray's been welcoming. i've stopped coming to breakfast, and it seems like reign has, too. when she cooks, ray bring breakfast to me. and by breakfast i mean a plate full of pancakes, sausages, and eggs with some drizzled chocolate syrup. it's my favorite, actually. after she hands me breakfast, ray gives me words of support and reassurance before she leaves the room.

as i sit on my bed, door closed, sometimes i hear her ask reign if i've slipped into a 'funk,' and if there's anything she thinks they can do. i feel a sad typa way about that because i genuinely fear i've gone backwards.

something i am coming to the conclusion of, slowly but surely, is that even though you've made a significant amount of progress, there is always a possibility everything you've worked towards in order to achieve that significant amount of progress, can be done with and once you decide you don't want to continue at the certain level, once you decide to be done with it all, you will have to start from the beginning. i hate that i have to start from the beginning and from what i heard from ray and reign, hailey also has to start from the beginning.

i guess you could say the both us relapsed, but with emotions.

hailey stopped taking her medicine, i got drunk and ended up sad.

i thought we were both in good places but i guess i was wrong. it's tragic, really. i hate that i was wrong. all i wanted was to improve, i don't know if i'm capable of that now. i don't know what to do but i wish i knew what to do.

i don't know many things but what i do know is, i want hailey. yes, i don't like her, but i want her.

marissa, one of the main characters in the show i have my eyes on now, throws her arms around her brown haired significant other, penelope, and the two of them embrace.

"mi amor, i've missed you so!" penelope exclaims.

i blink, allowing tears to have the release they so desperately crave.

"no, no, no" marissa pulls away, her hand cupping penelope's cheek. her slender fingers graze against pene's toned dark skin. "it is me whose missed you. now that you are here with me and away from my brother, nothing will stand in the way of our love!"

penelope grimaces a little. "i.. wish that were true,"

marissa looks confused. "why would it not be?"

penelope winces, taking a breath. "..there is something i have to confess,"

"confess?"

penelope nods and at that moment marissa's brother, juan, steps into frame. "ah, what's going on here?" he slides a arm across penelope waist, glancing down at her. "amor, have you told my sister the good news?"