Benaam Rishta:An Invisible String

Chapter18

He Failed to fullfill the responsibilities of a husband. He couldn't save his wife, rather became the reason of her suffering and now if his son come to know that the reason of his mother's death was his own father......what he would do! How will he face his son..?!

And moreover, will he really be able to live happily with his love...like he dreamt to!, after knowing this!. No he couldn't. This guilt, this thought will haunt him for the rest of his life..!

Neither he would be able to live without......her.

Why everything became so difficult all of so sudden..why?!

"I always had only this fear that if my love hurt anyone...,if my love becomes the cause of someone's pain. that's why I always stayed way careful about this but....see, eventually my fear became true. Because of this someone suffered...it took a life....my Bini........"

"Bo...Bondita... please calm down.." He pulled her up from his shoulder. one hand grabbed her by shoulder while other hand rubbing her back as her breathing became uneven because of excessive mental stress. " Bondita, don't blame yourself. you have no fault. At all. it's my mistake. I failed to fullfill my responsibility. I...I should have...." His eyes lowered as brimming tears started to flow " She.. she shouldn't have done that..she could talk to...me... once.....Bo-Bondita" He took a glance of her before looking down again"I don't know. I really don't know what to say. everything seems so........."

"Everything will be fine...." He peered up to her confoundedly. " Once...I shift to Kalkatta and......"

"What??!" He felt a sharp stab in heart that stirred his soul in apprehension. her sentence remained incomplete, he Inquired" what did you say?"

She smiled sadly to see his reaction" I...I decided to stay in Calcutta.." " why?" His voice became throaty. Lips dried up but eyes got wet unknowingly. he didn't blink even for once. shaky breath left her lips, she spoke " It would be better for both of us....to...to move on....in.....individually....!

"But..Bondita.." he held her hands desperately " how.....!okay. Forget everything. We will be just friends. will be together like we used to be...as friends..but please don't leave m....don't go...just stay in front of my eyes... please" Tears trickling to fall from his eyes. brows quivered.

She pulled her hand from his. Shook head slightly" No Anirudh Babu, it's not possible. do you think we can be like before now?.. No, because everything has changed, our feelings, our relationship.....you understand what I'm trying to say. don't you?" He said nothing. somewhere he also knew that thing won't be the same. They love each other. they even took their relationship to another level and now it would be next to impossible for them to be in control in presence of others.

"Staying infront of each other but like strangers....will be more difficult. It will be more painful. we won't be able to control ourselves and then, this guilt will haunt us like......so better to stay apart...."She promptly wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes whereas.

"But our love isn't wrong. We love each other isn't a crime. Right? So why this punishment??" He knew he sounded like a child but he couldn't help. the fear of losing her engulfed his heart. he can't afford to lose her. he won't be able to breath even a second without her.

"Our love isn't wrong but what had happened because of our lo... because of it...is wrong. You know " he nodded up and down with teary eyes. she hold his shoulder and continued " for the first time in my life , I stepped back from my responsibility. I couldn't give justice to someone. I couldn't fight for the rights of Shalini. Who is laying on death bed but her husband is roaming freely. Proudly. But me....like a coward, have caged myself in house. How would I face Shalini when.. when I myself entangled in this. I'm also a sinner...of someone. Before Shalini...I..I would have to give justice to Binitha....for her...!! everyone mock me for. i can't even face myself in the mirror....." She hide her face by palms and started crying like a child. Anirudh pulled her in his embrace , not knowing what to do. above all his heart was thumping vigorously in restlessness pondering over her point. She clearly stated that there is a separation.. coming...which is going to snatch his everything . his eyes pressed together. drops of tears rolled down. Wetted her hair. She tightened her hold around him in reflex.

"So...when are yo...you leaving for..kal...Kalkatta" He look upwards to prevent the tears, which made unceasing way down to his cheeks. " In a...few mo..months" she uttered somehow.

"Ohh..." With this suppressed air puffed out of his mouth shakily and he accepted to live without his soul....turning himself into a robot.

"Is this necessary?....this sepa..separation...?"It wasn't easy. Yet again, His heart instructed and he whispered in her ear, almost inaudible. As if was scared. Scared of doing something wrong and being caught. Bondita calmed herself down a bit. As she looked at Anirudh, saw, how lost he was looking. How helplessly, still a glint of hope trickling with tears in eyes, he was staring at her. she could see his inner turmoil through his eyes. What he was going through but still was trying hard not to breakdown infront of her. She felt like crying more to see his state.

Straightening herself she sat infront of him and wiped his whole face with the hem of her saare. pressed her lips on his forehead, left a soft kiss. Anirudh's eyes automatically got closed to feel her...for the last time. It probably will be last physical contact between them"This is our destiny Anirudh Babu. We are destined to be together as each other's protector but not to build a nest of love as lovebirds. and.." she cupped his cheeks " We love...since then we didn't even know each other. So is our love so weak that we can't sacrifice our......."She pressed her lips together. laughed blankly just in an attempt to control her tone of voice as it was breaking with each word that left her lips.

Again confidently looked at his statued posture and continued "you only keep saying that we are connected spiritually, eternally by our soul...then, do we need to be physically with each other? Will this separation change our love...? No right!" She felt his fingers wiping the tears from her cheeks. that's when she Realised, although she was laughing without any reason to show she wasn't sad but her eyes expressed her true feelings. they flowed without her knowledge washing away the futile attempt she put to act strong.

He let out broken smile. she was acting unaffected. As if he couldn't feel her.....pain. Budhdhu! held her hands tightly to stay strong for what he was going to speak " No Bondita. It's not needed. I'm always with you whatever decision you make. I will follow the path you choose for us. And if it's separation from you....then...still...I'm ready. Just knowing that you are safe...I will bear such separation smilingly for thousands of years....... " he swiftly blinked his eyelashes to soak up the brimming tears of his eyes. "No matter destiny give us separation but we can't be separated ever, no matter how far we are. Because you know "He placed her hands on his heart and pointing to her heart, spoke further" because, our heart will always remain encapsulated with our love. they will keep beating together until they stop forever" pulling her closer, rested his forehead on hers. "Not only in this life, I will be waiting for you in my ever birth.....just come and drop back my soul in my physical shell...if you feel like to......"

Tears rolled down both of their eyes. He brought out his pandent and a sunflower. smiling slightly with teary eyes, spoke. "Everyone taunts us as our relationship is Benaam. That's why I thought to ma..marry.... you as soon as possible and then I will make you wear this pandent as promised our family but now.........." He instantly shifted his gaze from her to the pendant. A drop of tears fell on that. She bit her lips to restrict the urge to cry. Plastering that smile he placed the pendant on her palm and adorned the sunflower behind her ear, whispering "Flower to the most beautiful flower......mine....?"

She threw her arms around his neck, crying "I love y........" " Please don't" he hugged her more tightly to prevent her from uttering those words. " Please don't make me weak..please..." He pleaded helplessly. resting his cheek over her head. she closed her eyes nodding lightly.

Whole night, They stayed in each other's warm , loving and protective embrace...for the Last time,feeling each othe, listening to their heartbeat which chanted each other's name. Last serene moment. Before parting ways. the morning sun will take them both to different path....to different worlds.

And they are bound to follow what is written in inevitable fate....!!

~Ik dooje se hue judaa, jab ik dooje ke liye Bane,
Teri meri, meri Teri Prem kahani hai mushkil
Do lafzo mein yeh bayaan na ho paaye........!!!!