Benaam Rishta:An Invisible String

Chapter18

She detached herself from him in a jerk. His eyes snapped up, feeling the sudden emptiness in arms. "So-sorry" She murmured. Eyes wandered haphazardly in nervousness. He frowned. Now what's this mood swings for!! Just a second ago she was all fine and in her senses but..........

"Sorry" her voice broke his trance. He chose to hear her first " First of all, I am so sorry for hurting you so much these past few days" He saw her eyes lowered. Glint of tears brimmed in her eyes. He proceeded to say something, was stopped by her. he nodded her to continue " I know it's unforgivable. the words I s-spoke to y-yo-you were so ven-omous. I forced you to hat-hate yo-urself But believe me " she looked at him like child. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes "believe me, I..I didn't mean them. I didn't utter those words from my heart . You know that. Don't you?" He nodded fervently. Why she would have to ruin such a serene moment remembering unwanted things!

"Bondita, I know dear. I did feel what you couldn't vocalize. Are we different?! No. Right?" He slowly held her hand. Again.... wandering her reaction in reflex "I'm not upset for whatever you said. I was just...scared...." He looked at tears filled eyes, proceeded "scared thinking that you are regretting for letting me touch.....for letting me love yo-you...like a man.....but you aren't. Are you?" He observed her hopefully. Just then she passed a genuine smile that lifted the unbearable burden from his chest. He took a deep breath in relief.

"But I'm sorry....We can't be together yet.." His pleasant smile vanished. Shook head to get her words " Anirudh I know, everything is settled between us and you also came to know so many things but that doesn't change the reason I wanted us to stay apart. The reason is still there between us as an invisible wall and it will always be there...." Her voice was plain but it didn't go unnoticed by him that how hard she was trying not to cry.

"Please Bondita, don't think you betrayed your friend. Don't stay in this guilt. You two always wanted each other's happiness. So Do you think Binitha will feel bad to see her friend..her Bondita happy!.." He knew that's the reason Bondita was unable to  move on with him. in guilt of betraying her friend. he would have to rescue her from this self destructive process "Binitha is no more but she is more happy for us..I know........." He stopped to see her changing expressions.

"Yes, she is happy. she might be happy now because that's what she wanted. That's why she suffered for a year. That's why she committed suicide..." She yelled sarcastically. Tears of anguish made their way down her cheeks. Anirudh stumbled back...to hear the unexpected words .Suicide. Binitha commited suicide!

"Wh-what?" His brows furrowed in utter confusion.

"Yes. A few days after you both got married.. reading your diary she found out that the girl her husband loved was not her but her dear friend. again, when she went to Kalkatta in search of me, she came to know that the one whom her friend loved since childhood was none other than her own husband....She couldn't bear that. She blamed herself for everything. She thought she had destroyed her husband and friend's life and..." Bondita rubbed her face coarsely , looked towards Anirudh who also was in pool of tears. Told him whatever Dr. Samarth said to her that day. he let out a sharp breath. gulping the lump formed in throat he tried to say something but felt lose of words. his wife embraced death.....because of him. His full-length trembled atrociously at this thought. Bondita fell on her knees and was crying bitterly. He too gave up. Knelt down infront of her. he wanted to pacify her. To console her but from where he would gather the minimum courage he needed!

"Now tell me, How can we be happy together...how!!!when this is the reason of our Binitha's death. Her..her suffering. now if we live together happily then it means we are also happy with her death, with the step she took. No. I can't Anirudh. I won't be able to stay happy with somthing for My Bini committed suicide. I can't.for-give me...ple-ase..we cannot name our Benaam rishta....." He held her hands. rubbed off the tears from her cheeks. he still wasn't in a condition to think exactly what to say. what to do. what would be right or wrong. He was feeling so vulnerable and the shattered, broken girl infront of him wasn't helping him either. she slowly rested her forehead on his shoulder and sobbed. he did what he could do at that moment. Caressed her head in condolence and cried silently.