𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐲

𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

some girl pulls the guy back. "josh, what the hell is going on?"

he shrugs her off. "god, give me a second, rachel! i think this kid needs some help," he turns away from the girl and looks at me. "i'm gonna call the cops, okay?"

he pulls out his phone and in seconds he's giving all kinds of information. i couldn't hear much, i was crying.

"she's bleeding badly... the girl's hysterical.. i think she was involved in some type of accident.."

i rest my head against the brick building i fell against.

it's cold and it hurts my head. i tried to find cassandra when she left. i think she ran away so i got in my car to look for her.

i was in an accident. i was driving when a car hit me.

i think my light was green. his was red. it was his fault.

"oh, god! fuck, shelia, there's someone in there!" i remember he had screamed. i couldn't see much then. there was a lot of smoke. "fuck! can anyone hear me?! scream if you need help- oh, god; god, i-i didn't, i didn't see you!"

the car had rolled to it's side. i had to crawl out.

the man's eyes went wide when he saw me. he tried to help. "..you're just a kid. oh, you're hurt! d-don't move! i'm gonna get an ambulance! i'm gonna get some help!"

i was really scared but i had to run. i had to find cassandra. i didn't need help. "i can't," i had held my hands out to keep him away. "i have to go,"

he reached for me, "you need an ambulance-"

"i-i have to go.."

i left for cassandra.

cassandra.

i was distracted but i remember now.

i have to find her, i can't get help.

"no," i push the girl away whose trying to stop the bleeding leaking from my head. "y-you, stop. stop it. stop, i gotta go. let me go. please, let me go."

"miss, please-" she tries to hold me put. "you're bleeding badly."

"fuck!" my head jerked to the side, air i don't have is knocked out of my lungs. a tic. "let me go, l-let me go!"

she won't let go. "let me go!"

i fight against her. i want to be let go. "y-you have to let go! l-let me go! let me go!"

"let me go!"

"let go!"

the ambulance drives up. they exit with a stretcher and no one lets go of me.

not until i get to the hospital.

there, they let go of me so i can properly lay in bed. they help stop the bleeding and they ask me questions about my name and my family. they take my stuff out of my pockets. they give me help and by the time the nurses advise me to lay down, i've forgotten why i refused to get help in the first place.

medication makes me remember but i haven't been on it for awhile.

-

"why didn't you call me when something was wrong?" dad asks, staring at me from his seat at the edge of the hospital's bed.

"even if you were not feeling best, i would had gratitude for your decision to speak with me. to ask for help, and let me know, but you decided to no answer calls, jiyu. you have not answered calls from your mother, your brothers, your grandparents, your friends.."

"why?"

it takes me a minute to answer. "i thought you all would be upset with me."

"why would we be upset?"

i shake my head. no matter how many times i do that, i can't shake the tears out my eyes. "because i knew that you guys would know i wasn't okay."

"..why do you feel like you aren't okay?"

"because, because i haven't been taking my medicine," i admit quietly. "i know how i sound when i'm not on them and i know that when i'm not on them, i don't make the best decisions. i haven't been taking my career seriously, i do things on a whim, and i crossed lines with cassandra. and now she, she wants nothing to do with me, makuakāne.."

dad takes a deep breath after awhile. "ah.. i think you should come back home, jiyu."

"what? no, no." i can't shake my head quick enough. "dad, seriously, no. what about cassandra?"

"jiyu, what about you?" he counters and i frown. "cassandra is not the one in the hospital, cassandra isn't the one who was in a car accident."

"but i was the one who crossed a line, dad! you should have seen her face, you should have seen the way she looked at me!" i tell him desperately; imagines of cassandra crying yesterday flashing through my mind. "all i fucking do is make a mess with her. i can't leave and go back to hawaii, that's basically outta the country. i can't fix things out of the fuckin' country!"

"then fix them when you return," he stands up. "when the doctors decide to discharge you, we are leaving."

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1297 words
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