Marry me with flowers

CHAPTER | 2

I liked that he cared enough to listen to my rants, stayed to chase out the demons that hid under my bed and tried to be the brightest sun to clear the dark clouds over me. I loved that over time he understood me better than myself. Sometimes, more than not, I saw Smith in him. The father figure that I adored who died on me when I needed him the most.

But how long would Miles be ready to give up everything only to set my head right? Won't it be only a click of his fingers to realize that? How would I ever explain this to him?

When he asked me if I was ready to marry him in front of thousands of people, our whole relationship passed right in front of my eyes. And at every stage, I saw myself as a child reprimanded and guided through. It wasn't fair for him. Nor was it fair for me.

"I..." I could only stammer. "I don't think... I'm not ready, Miles."

Finally, the words that I wanted was out there. It was true. I wasn't ready for such a big commitment.

Suddenly, I started to wonder if Gwen, my therapist, who had told me that I had recovered fully from my depression and panic attacks was right after all. She had told me that I was just like a recovering drug addict who would have massive withdrawals. That it would be easy for me to fall into the trap and never find the way out. My tears started afresh.

"Darling," Miles pulled me closer. "It's... it's really okay. I'll... You don't have to worry about a thing, okay? I'll take care of everything."

"Shit!" I turned around to face him. My eyes had turned wide and frantic. My heart rate was increasing as the seconds ticked by and the feel felt familiar. I was falling back into the old patterns of my panic attacks. "The... the media!"

Miles was quick though. Hadn't he seen me through this like a several times before? He put his hands on my face and held it tight. "Breathe, Megan. Breathe."

I wasn't listening to him. My mind had its own plans as my hyperventilation began. The media would have a field day with the latest revelations. What kind of a woman would reject a marriage offer from Miles himself? Was I good in the mind? Or did I have a spare relationship like the times they predicted from before to let go of Miles? Did Miles deserve this... after all that he's been through?

Questions and more importantly, tomorrow's headlines stared right back at me with stark disapproval. Words grew one on top of another and everything became bleary.

"Megan." Miles' strong voice was commanding. It brought me back to him. He wiped my tears away. "Look at me, Megan. Breathe with me, alright? In and out. Come on, now."

Forgetting everything that I knew, I looked at those dark eyes. Like a light at the end of the tunnel, I could see a ray of hope in those eyes. That hope was for me. Even after everything I had made him go through, he was still optimistic. Looking at that, I forgot everything that held me back.

As my breathing became normal, Miles, whose hands were still on either side of my cheeks pulled closer to kiss the top of my head.

"I love you, Megan." It was a whisper. A promise. An assurance. It was all that took to bring me back. "Don't you dare forget that."

I put my arms around him and hugged. I couldn't say it right back like I always did. Miles would have to do with my actions for now.

"You didn't tell me." I said after it felt like hours. "We never spoke about it, Miles."

"So what?" Miles asked. There was a glimmer of smirk playing along the lines of his lips. "When I see something I like, I make it mine."

"You like?" I got up from his lap as I sniffed.

"Yeah, but I love you. You see the difference?" He asked me. His eyes never left me. I turned around not able to look him in the eye when the topic became a little too intimidating for me. "Megan, I want you to be fearless. I want you to forget what the world will think about you. I want you to show your emotions without hinderance. I want you to give us a chance, darling."

My eyes had started to tear up again. But this time around, it wasn't fear. It was because of the love I had for the guy who stood by me in all my ups and downs.

In all my life that I had known Miles, he always had the best intentions for me in mind. By the end of the day, no matter what he did, he wanted to see me smile. Today was no exception. He took care of me when I fell sick. He rejoiced my wins and consoled me at my downfall. He was all I had and I was all he had. I couldn't imagine my world without him.

"Megan, don't think I'm forcing you into doing something that you are not comfortable with." Miles continued. "I understand if you don't want to marry. But I want to know that I'm the only guy in your life that you will look at as a partner. Now and forever. You get it? I really don't care about a signed certificate if you would promise me that."

Slowly, Miles tugged my hand and got me back to staring at him. I was sure my runny nose had turned pink. The extra eye shadow and kohl that Amber had forced me into would certainly make me look like a racoon with a rash. Still, Miles stood there with a soft smile on his face, looking expectantly at me.

"What do you say, Megan?" Miles asked again.

"Miles." I sniffed and cleared my throat. I wanted him to understand what I was telling him. I didn't want him to have any sorts of doubts regarding us. "It has always been you. I love you."

Miles' soft smile looked like it was fertilized to grow into a wider grin. "Good." I could tell that he wasn't yet satisfied with my answer. He wanted more. "Now, about that wedding. Do you see yourself marrying me, Megan? Maybe... not right now. Some time in the future. Would that be okay with you?"

Still smiling, I couldn't fathom how or why Miles could be so nervous around me. It was him that made me nervous. His sudden change of plans, the spontaneous ideas and crazy thoughts always kept me on my toes. But what did he have to be nervous about me?

He looked like a small child looking at the hearth on Christmas eve wishing for something impossible to happen. It was then that everything dawned on me. Marriage meant a promise of togetherness till our last breath. And Miles was choosing me. What more could I ever ask for?

"Okay." I sniffed reflecting his own smile. I was sure that I was scaring Miles off with my teary and blotchy face, but it looked like he didn't mind. In fact, he was too ecstatic to stay rooted in his spot. His grip on my hand tightened.

"Yeah? You sure?" I could only nod at that.

"You tell me when and I'll be there." Sudden confidence in me boomed and I went right ahead. "But, are you really sure you want to marry me?"

He laughed.

"Oh, darling." He pulled me closer to him and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "You don't think I only want to marry you now, do you?"

Cherry red blush that put all those cosmetics to shame coloured my cheeks as I looked down at our closed bodies. Miles definitely had a gutter for a mind.

"Now that we are clear about marriage, I want to ask you one more thing." Miles said in all seriousness that it made me little nervous. Didn't I tell about the sudden change in plans? Well, this was what I would be dealing with for the rest of my life. "I don't want you to freak out about this after we are married."

"What is it?" I asked. Miles hands had stayed at either side of my cheeks as if he was scared to let me go. His face was as handsome as I remembered and before he could ask anything, I was already jumping with a whooping yes.

"So, since we are getting married and all, how many kids do you want?"

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A/N: I wish I had someone who is as patient as Miles is. So, how many kids would you want if Miles was asking this to you? :p