After spending 2 years recovering from a big surgery Tristan Prentice was determined to have the best summer ever with the Fishers and the Conkin's. One of her many goals this summer is too finally tell her crush how she feels, she's been in love wi...
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I been starring at my keyboard for like 10 minutes now usually I have at least half of a song written by now but nothing was coming and to add to my stress Erin & Aaron have not said a word to me since this morning and today the academy is supposed to call my mom to say if I got my spot back or not if I did than it's goodbye music and broadway. I decided to head to my and Belly's room than Jeremiah stopped me "Hey, come on. Let's go swim" he offered leaning on the side of the door with a smile still shirtless is he trying to kill me. "I wish I could but I have to get stuff ready for tomorrow and my stepsiblings are not speaking to me and too top it off my life could either go back to normal or change forever by the end of the day" I tell him."How come nobody ever wants to play with me?" He smirked I rolled my eyes he's so childish but it's super adorable. "Later, I promise" I bopped his nose than kissed his cheek and shut the door. I looked up and saw Belly starring at herself in the mirror "woah Bells what are you doing?" I asked her "I'm planning on asking Conrad to the ball" she said my eyes widened woah she's finally being brave "wow um that's big what has made you finally decide to ask him? And maybe tell him how you feel finally?" "Well seeing how things have changed with you and Jeremiah got me thinking if you get your summer romance maybe I could too ending things with Cam helped with the decision as well plus Conrad and I almost kissed last night so that made me think maybe he likes me too" she said I smiled I'm glad she's finally going to make a move I know from experience that it's scary but once you do it and he does something back it feels really good and wonderful "that's great well don't over do it ok your just talking not going to prom" I say she laughs and nods I head over to my mini keyboard and opened my songbook to the song I been working on I began playing a few keys and started singing. Oh there I'm going again Pushing past the unforgivable edge Always one step out of bounds Can't get the taste out my mouth Dealing with the aftertaste Going too far is a permanent phase Wish I could try to suppress Convince myself that I want less Than I deserve but I get hurt when I admit I want more More than I probably should More than I probably ever, ever could I want more But trouble comes after I push I push myself past every point I know I shouldn't havе I want more Good girls should never dеsire When they do they end up tripping the wires I never have a defense Cus I always want more than less Than I deserve so I get hurt when I admit I want more More than I probably should More than I probably ever ever could have I want more Dreams keep on crushing Cus more leads to nothing More gets punishment I want everything everything everything everything But I know that leads to disappointment should I act like I don't ... Want more More than I probably should More than I probably ever ever could have I want more But trouble comes after I push I push myself past every point I know I shouldn't have I want more I stopped singing and smiled this is one of the few songs that I have had no trouble writing all I had to do was think of Jeremiah and the lyrics just come out of me Belly clapped "wow that was kind of depressing T everything ok?" She asked I smiled at her she didn't need to know my problems now "go get your man" I said she started smiling big I really hope Conrad won't be a jerk to her. Belly left the room and headed back to the keyboard to finish the song when my phone started ringing. I picked it up and it was my mom here goes nothing, I took a deep breath and hit answer. "Hey what's the verdict wait a letter why are they torturing me like this what about the callback? A phone call so there's still no news great oh and you should probably know Erin & Aaron aren't talking to me at all because I told them Susannah just asked me to sing at the fundraiser alone not with them, I tried but she just glares at me and walks away Aaron at least tries to smile but he looks so hurt and walks away, alright I'll leave them alone tonight Jeremiah wants to do a night swim later it's not romantic just because we're a couple, no I haven't told him yet, yes I'm planning too, ok tell Natasha I love her at least she loves me still, love you too bye" I hung up and fell onto my bed more waiting I guess I would write another song but I can't think of anything I feel so bad about the band we did sound good and it felt amazing to perform with family, if I get my spot back at the academy I will have to give up music completely and if I get the callback I won't be coming back to cousins if that happens I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do tooJeremiah and hopefully he doesn't hate me maybe I should tell him now, suddenly Belly came into the room she did not look happy "what happened?" I asked she ran over to me and fell into my arms crying loudly "Conrad's a big jerk he wants to forget what happened between us" she said oh no "what oh that jerk I'm gonna kill him when I see him" I said rubbing circles on her back "I thought there was finally a sign I ended things with Cam because I thought that this was finally my and Conrad's time" she said sniffing than sitting on the floor in front of her bed I sat beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders "I don't know what's up with Conrad this summer but if he can't see how great you are than he's not worth your tears Belly I think this is a sign that you need to move on from him for good this time" I said she sniffled and whipped her tears away "I'm going to call Taylor I need my best friend right now no offence" she said I smiled and squeezed her gently "don't worry about it Taylor is the kind of person to go too with this besides I need to talk to Jeremiah about something" I said "why you two seem to be the only ones that are actually something" she said "well I'm trying to be more open with him so I'm going to tell him something that I hope doesn't make him hate me" I say she smiles "he could never hate you that boy truly likes you" she says I put my hand on her arm and smile at her "thanks Bells now you talk to Taylor and I'll talk to Jere wish me luck" I say and leave the room and walk to the door beside us here goes nothing. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door "COME IN" Jere's voice yelled even when he yells it's cute I opened the door and he was lying on his bed reading a magazine his eyes left the page and locked with mine he began smiling very big "hey princess" he threw the magazine across the room jumped off his bed and ran over to me by the way he was still shirtless so he was looking extra hot right now he pulled me into a hug and I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled my head into his shoulder I couldn't help it, it felt so right to do that which was making what I was about to tell him that much harder but I had too before he find out another way. "Ready to go swimming?" He asked me once we finally pulled away from each other but he still held my hands "no Jere we have to talk it's about the academy and my future in Broadway" I said letting go of his hands "well whatever happens I'm sure it will be fine why do you sound sad?" He asked I walked over to his bed and sat down "remember when we said no more secrets well I have 2 more one about tennis and about my Broadway career" I said I looked at Jeremiah and he had an unreadable face on okay so far so good here goes nothing "I know no secrets has been something we'll been saying pretty much forever, it's one of our traditions- just like you having to cuddle with me at least once a day, it's just one of the things we have always said when it's just the two of us, and I know I have kept a lot of secrets from you this year but I swear I didn't tell you this one because I haven't heard anything from either and I know you have options about both of them" "so it involves the thing that could literally kill you and other thing that would cause you not to come to cousins next year?"Jere asked couldn't tell if he sounded mad or angry. "Before coming here I filled a new application for the academy and I should of heard something from the headmaster by now about my spot, and I filmed an audition for a musical but have heard nothing about a callback or more videos of me singing my mom just called me with no updates either all this waiting is causing me stress and making me doing questionable things" I say "what did you do?" Jere asked his arms were crossed and he had sort of a mad/hurt face. "I sort of told Erin & Aaron I didn't want to be in our band anymore and performing at the fundraiser tomorrow as a solo artist and-" "woah, woah stop you actually told your step siblings who you clam to love tons you didn't want to be in the band you guys created together I call bullshit, I mean how do you think they would feel thinking they were your second choice? I know I'm your number 1 but now I can't help but think how fast you would push me to to second choice" he said turning away from me I took a deep breath "Jere that would never happen at the academy a few boys would flirt and ask me to to dances and on dates but I turned down every single one of them 1 was one of my good friends he even convinced me that I should tell you how I felt because during practice or a tournament all I could think about was you, when I was in the hospital and away at all those places and even in a different country at one point, all I could think about was us when we're together it's always so easy and happened quickly that it always felt like it had always been like that I just wanted to be near you I wanted you everyday and all the seasons." "A lot of cute boys have been in my life Jere but than there's you. When I look at you I see the past, present and future you don't just know the girl I used to be you know the girl I am now and you still love me for me." I say I was standing right in front of him now I reached for his hand but he backed away I was afraid of this "I just we said no more secrets and here you are keeping another one and I think this one is the most painful of them all you might as well tell me you think I have feelings for Belly right?" He asked I looked down at the floor not wanting to answer. "You know what just leave I don't want to see you right now" he said I held back the tears and headed towards the door but stopped turned around and faced him again "I lied to you a lot I'll admit but the one thing I never lied about. You were the first boy I ever kissed, I used to think you had feelings for Belly and that drove me crazy because you were all I could think about was you, your my best friend the more I thought about it the more and more I understood I couldn't kiss any other guy cause he wasn't the one it's the way it was supposed to be. Your the one Jere MY ONE" I yell and leave his room I sniffled some tears I went back to my and Belly's room I enter the room and see Belly's on her bed with headphones in curled under the sheets well at least I'm not the only one that's depressed I grabbed my guitar and sat on the little swing that was in the room I started playing a song I wrote not too long ago called I'm in Love. Pessimism was my weapon 'Cause they can't hurt any feelings If I don't ever let them in But now my heart's exposing Feel the opposite of hopeless Devoted to the moment, yeah Wish I believed in fate So choices aren't hard to make Yeah, I'm in love Is that enough to make This little house of cards into a home? Yeah, I'm in love Or am I just afraid to be alone? Are we all just out here treading Water swimming to a wedding bell Like pennies in a wishing well? I'm not naïve Happy endings aren't easy But I'll never know if I never try Wish I believed in fate So choices aren't hard to make Yeah, I'm in love Is that enough to make This little house of cards into a home? Yeah, I'm in love Or am I just afraid to be alone? I'm not naïve Happy endings aren't easy But I'll never know if I never try Oh but a future uncertain could give me A chance to find a beautiful life I'm in love Is that enough to make This little house of cards into a home? Yeah, I'm in love Or am I just afraid to be alone? Yeah, I'm in love Is that enough? Yeah, I'm in love Or am I just afraid to be alone? Afraid to be alone
