North of Heaven (A Jared Leto Fanfiction)

FOUR

"I'm sorry though." Jared paused, collecting his thoughts and trying to process his feelings as best he could manage somewhat drunk.

"And how's you being sorry going to give me back the hour I just spent waiting for you?"

"Let me make it up to you." Jared thought it over, considering it. "Please Jared." He didn't want to. He didn't want to let her make it up to him. But he had to see her. It was like a craving. He waited for longer than he wanted too, just to see her and have that need quenched but because he'd had to wait longer than he planned, that craving just grew bigger and bigger and bigger. Jared was losing control and even though his pride was telling him to tell this girl to go fuck herself, he was pretty much on his knees for her.

"What do you have in mind?" Emily let out a sigh and he could hear the slight grin in her breath.

"Could you meet me on the hills? The place where you found me last. I'm here now. I'll explain everything. I promise, just please meet me." Jared could hear the subtle pleading in her tone and the delicacy around her words. She was pining for his trust and he could see that crystal clear.

"I'll be a while. But I'll be there." Emily thanked him until he was replaced with dead air and the world suddenly opened up to her. She took in Los Angeles under starlight as far as she could see and it occurred to her then, that in that moment he was somewhere down there, on his way to her. A feeling quickly dawned upon her, that feeling you sometimes get when looking up at the stars on a clear night,  the feeling that this is happening. You are living and things are constantly moving around you and you can sit there and watch and take everything in but no matter what happens, things will always be constantly flowing. Life and people, they'll always be moving and growing and continuing around you.

A smile absentmindedly graced her lips even though guilt was still shredding her insides to ribbons. She had wanted to reply to him all night, she'd written text after text out all ready to go, but her fingers would deleted every word she typed out of pure fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of him. Fear of what was happening. But most of all, fear of how she was feeling. Jared didn't know, but whenever Emily was around him, she felt like her whole body was in flames. She felt like she had taken a hit of the purest heroin and that she had been granted access inside of heaven and that terrified the life out of her. She hadn't felt like that without drugs in years. She didn't think she could feel like that without drugs at all. But she was, she was feeling just as good sober as she did completely fucked. And it was because of him, he was slowly becoming her knew favorite drug of choice.  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He was looking at her side profile, drinking her in. He was counting the amount of times she blinked. He was watching how she was looking everywhere but at him. When he'd finally clambered up the Hollywood Hills he found her in the exact same place her found her in before, only this time she was accompanied by a bottle of vodka and a small bag of weed. She didn't see him coming, she was sat on top of that boulder just staring out at the same scenery she'd seen a million times before. As he approached he decided to stand in front of her to eliminate the chance of him startling her as he emerged from the darkness. When he'd placed himself before her the city lights of LA illuminated her features and he had to fight the urge to climb on top of her and devour her in his drunken state. But he didn't have to move. She slipped down from the rock and stood ever so close to him, their chests almost touching. She gazed up at him with watery eyes and he could see the guilt swimming in them.  Emily opened her mouth to what Jared could only assume was another apology, but he interrupted her before she could get the words out.