LOVE TO HATE ME | JENLISA

Chapter 8

Jennie

I opened my bedroom door and stepped aside so she could walk in first. The wooden floors were covered with a large beige Persian rug underneath my bed. My bed frame was oak wood, and the blanket was white, along with the throw pillows that matched the walls. Which were sea-foam blue with a tint of green but were bare, excluding some ocean painting my father won at some lawyer exposition.

My bed was in the middle of my room with my window on one side of the wall and my study desk on the other, with my mirrored sliding closet doors right in front. I had a nightstand on the left side of my bed where there was a tissue box that was probably empty from all the tears I've cried, along with two water bottles. I had a few fake plants hanging in the far corner of my room, along with some picture frames of my grandpa and me on my study desk where my laptop was. I grabbed it and sat on the edge of the bed, and Lisa set her bag on my bed before sitting next to me.

"Jennie."

"Yeah." I hummed as I opened my laptop.

"I didn't come here to do homework. I don't want you to think that's why I came here."

"Why did you come then? No one else from school stopped by."

"Really?" She asked, surprised, which had me looking up from my laptop screen to gauge her face.

"I mean, they texted me, but no one actually stopped by."

I watched her rub at the back of her neck as she blew out a breath of air, "Is it weird that I came?"

"Honestly... no."

"I'm sorry."

I cocked my head, "About what?"

"That everyone is an asshole."

I set my laptop down and let out a sigh. "High school isn't for life, Lisa. I mean, it's not like I'm ever going to see Mino Song or Stacy Choi from American World History class after graduation."

"Yeah, but it still sucks that no one thought to stop by and check up on you."

"You did, though. Why?"

"I don't know. But, if I'm being honest, I couldn't stop thinking about you." She whispered the last few words.

"I thought about you too." I spoke sincerely, "The 'everyone mourns differently' line came to my mind a few times these past few days." I turned my body to face her, "My father... he didn't grieve like me. He didn't cry, not even once." I rubbed the sweat off my palms on the tops of my thighs and let out a sigh.

"He wouldn't even follow the traditional Korean way of a funeral. He didn't want to waste time. Maybe people do mourn differently. Maybe burying his face in work is his way of dealing. I... I don't know. It sucks, grieving over him alone. I loved my grandpa, loved him like he was my father, mother, and my best friend all rolled into one. I just wanted my father to hug me and tell me that he's in a better place, that he still loves me, and to not cry too much over him or something. He didn't. Instead, he made me feel like the three days we dealt with my grandpa's funeral arrangements were an inconvenience. I don't know, maybe you're right. Maybe he's grieving in his own way."

"I never wanted to be more wrong than right now. I don't know your father, so I don't know if he's grieving or not, but I do know it's fucked up that he's let you mourn your grandpa all by yourself." Her words had me crying all over again, "Fuck, Jennie. Come here."

I jumped into her open arms like it was the most normal thing ever. I allowed myself to mourn all over again, my already broken heart breaking once again, my tears charged and ready to go as I sobbed in her arms. Lisa held me tight to her chest, and I felt her move with me pressed to her chest until she was fully carrying me onto her lap. I felt her hand at my back as she rubbed it, her other hand at the back of my head, as she ran her fingers through my hair. We stayed like that for a few moments, maybe even longer. I couldn't be too sure. All I knew was that Lisa's fresh scent of warmth and citrus calmed me down, and I felt the cries cease long enough for me to pull away.

I felt her thumbs meet my cheeks as she wiped at my tears, and then those honey emerald eyes met mine, and then something weird happened. She kissed me. Lisa was kissing me.

What?

Not a peck on the lips. No, a full-blown kiss with her lips slanting over mine, and I felt my eyes flutter shut as I kissed her back.

God. Oh, goodness, what a kiss.

Her thumb caressed the corners of my lips as she kissed me, and it was that gentle touch that had me opening my mouth. The instant her tongue flicked against mine, I moaned loudly into the kiss, urging her to kiss me even harder. Her hands held both sides of my face as she pulled me to her, our bodies flushing against each other, as she took my breath, my sanity, and my sadness away with her lips.

Kissing wasn't something new to me. I've kissed guys before, yet kissing Lisa felt revolutionary. She kissed like how I imagine heaven must feel like. Floating, soul suspended into the air and welcoming all at the same time like I was in the arms of an angel. She kissed like a sinner who's been a saint for too long and couldn't hold back anymore.

I could feel her anger, her passion, her intensity as we kissed, choosing not to break away for a single breath. I whimpered when I felt her hands leave my face and move down my body until she got hold of my hips as she rolled me over her very evident hard-on. She groaned into my mouth, the sound primal and throaty, and it had me pressing my chest even tighter against hers.

I felt her stiffen suddenly then pull away from me. Then, panting, she spoke, "I didn't come here to do this either. Sorry, I don't know what the hell is the matter with me."

"Don't be sorry. No one's ever kissed me like that before." I murmured, my eyes scanning her stern face. Her eyes were dilated, her lips were as swollen as mine were, and our laboured breathing was the only sound you could hear.

"Like what?"

So ravenously, like souls touching, like a moth to a flame.

I licked my lips and watched her eyes follow the subtle movement. "Like they'd burn down the whole world to the ground just to be able to do it again."

She stared intently at me and spoke, "Because you've only been kissed by fucking idiots." I chuckled lightly, shaking my head, and I felt her fingers tug the stray hairs that fell behind my ear. "Did you eat anything today?"

"No, I haven't eaten since...." I trailed off, and she nodded her head in understanding.

"C'mon, I'll order us some pizza." She offered.

I smiled. "I'd like that."

After splitting a pizza together and drinking half a litre of apple juice in my fridge, Lisa and I spent the rest of the evening finishing our PowerPoint. It was almost normal, the way we were lying in my bed, the laptop in her lap, as I shot her my ideas. It was oddly comfortable having her around me, making me laugh, and even though there were snarky comments here and there, I loved every second of it.

Unfortunately, Lisa didn't bring up the kiss, and even though I couldn't stop thinking about it, I didn't either. I don't know if it was a one-time thing or just a moment of lapsed judgment, but it was the most exhilarating kiss that I've ever had. Lisa was an excellent kisser, and for some reason, it didn't surprise me that she was.

I would never have thought that out of everyone I knew in school, she'd show up with flowers, speak choppy Korean, and even feed me pizza. So who was this person, and what did she do with competitive Lisa, who head-butted every word I've ever spoken this past year? After putting away the school work and my laptop, I watched her toss her book bag on the floor and lie on my bed. She ushered me over, and I obliged, silently, sliding underneath the covers so that we were face to face. Her thumb went to the left side of my bottom lip as she gazed up at me.

"This mole." She whispered, "God, it's so fucking hot."

"My grandpa used to tell me that God gave it to me because I did something good in this life. He called them 'seonhaeng', which translates to good deeds."

"Like you're going to save the world from ending or something?" She pondered, teasingly.

"I remember joking about that too, and he told me that it could be as tiny as helping someone cross the street."

"I don't have any moles." She acknowledged, then she asked, "Does that mean I'm a bad person?"

"Maybe it means you haven't done your good deed yet."