Protecter
By vallwrites
~
Do you remember when she walked into your office that day?
Do you remember how she sat opposite you,
picking at the cotton of her jumper
and chewing the skin on her lips until they bled?
Do you remember seeing her swollen eyes, her tear stained cheeks?
Do you remember how she trembled in that chair, petrified of what was going to happen to her?
Do you remember?
She managed to build the confidence and trust to go to you that day,
confided in you about what happened on Sunday night,
and then what happened again on Tuesday night.
She couldn't bare to go through it one more time,
so she walked to your office and sat in front of you,
thinking that you would listen to her and help.
But you pressured her,
you weren't patient with her when she was struggling to get her words out.
She needed you to be patient and soft with her; the exact opposite of how that monster had been on Sunday and Tuesday night.
Do you remember how she squeezed her eyes when she finally managed to tell you everything?
Did you know that she did that because she was getting flashbacks by talking about it?
Did you realise how traumatising and shameful it was for her to have to explain it all to you?
You pressured her to give you a name,
but she couldn't do that.
She was scared.
You pressured her to go to police,
but she couldn't do that either.
She was scared.
Could you not see that?
Could you not understand that?
She went to you
hoping you would be of help,
because you were supposed to protect her.
You made her feel worse.
And then you said the worst thing you could have possibly said to her in that moment:
If you don't go to the police, and it happens again, it will be your own fault.
Her own fault, you said.
You never said it was his fault.
Never blamed him,
never held him accountable.
She died a little more in that moment.
She walked out of your office,
and she hated herself more than she did before speaking to you.
Did you know that she left your office,
and three days later it happened to her again for the third time?
Bet you didn't know that,
because she refused to tell anyone what happened to her after what you said.
Do you want to know what you caused,
dear protecter?
You made that poor girl blame herself.
And to this day,
she continues to do so.
27.09.2022
